She Said...

October 5th, 2008

2008-10-05T18:05:00.005-05:00

To all my dear readers, please take note:

This will be the last time I shall be posting my column in this blog site as you can all find it now in our new venture's web site: http://www.pvmirror.com/

All you have to do is download the entire paper and leaf through it.

I hope you enjoy it, and I thank you all for your steadfast loyalty over the past little while.

Below is the column that was published in the first issue of the PVMirror:

This is very exciting indeed – a brand new publication, a new format, and old friends all around me. Once again, I am surrounded by wonderful people with whom I have worked at some time or other during the past decade, until they gradually quit, one by one, to go on to calmer, more productive employment. And all this coinciding with the Jewish New Year, what a fabulous omen!

Before I forget, I want to thank all the readers of this column who have communicated with me over the last month, through my blog.

At this point, I think I should give you a little background history on the recent course of events. Personally, I met Jesus de Avila, our publisher, fourteen years ago, when he hired me to do some translations for him, well, actually for the company for which he was working at the time. He became my first Mexican friend, and what a wonderful friend he has proven to be over the years.

Jesus is the guru founder / owner of one of the first internet web sites exclusively devoted to Puerto Vallarta: www.go2vallarta.com That site comes under the umbrella of www.go2mexico.com which now includes all of the country’s major tourist destinations.
Before the PV Tribune (as it used to be called) went on line, Jesus and I decided that we would create a “subdivision” of go2vallarta that we called the PV Mirror, which would publish all the articles written by the Tribune’s contributors, just so that folks could keep up with us on the net even after leaving town. That continued for a few years, until the powers-that-be decided to put the Tribune on line. The PV Mirror went from being a weekly source of information, to a monthly one, without the Tribune’s contributors.

When what happened … happened, this past August, we went back to Jesus. We asked him if he wanted to put the Mirror in print. His response was “Whenever you want. Tomorrow?”
So here we are, a month later, with what we hope to make everyone’s favorite weekly local paper.

As our editor has said, the Mirror intends to provide our readers with more local news –in English- than they’ve ever had access to before. (I just hope I have enough time to translate so much for you every week…) I’ve been told that our distribution will be limited to Puerto Vallarta proper, at least for the first few months. And as I know the folks who will be doing the distribution, I can assure you that it will be done properly. Hopefully, now our readers won’t need to put their names on a waiting list at their condo building, or fight over a forgotten copy on the beach… The circulation will be high enough so that everyone who wants a copy of the Mirror will be able to find and get one. Now, that’s good news, isn’t it?

Although we are still in the so-called “slow season”, we will do our best to find out anything and everything of interest that is going on in PV. I have to tell you, we contacted the City’s Department of Culture a few times over the last couple of weeks, to ask them – once again, and then again- to inform us of any events they may have scheduled for the month of October. Need I tell you? We’re still waiting for an answer from them. It baffles me. I have never understood why it is that they don’t inform anyone until the day of, or the day after, an event. Do they not want big audiences? What on earth is going on behind the doors of that department? Is there anyone there or is the “Arte y Cultura” department just a plaque on the door? Their original web site has disappeared from cyberspace, and the one that replaced it hasn’t been updated in months. They organized a whole hoopla called the ‘Festival Vive Puerto Vallarta’ that began in August and purportedly continued throughout September. Unfortunately, to the best of my knowledge, very few of us foreigners were aware of its events.

The movie that was shot here earlier this year, the one that was supposed to be called “South of the Border” and whose title was changed to “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” opened this past week. I haven’t seen it yet, so I couldn’t tell you if it’s good or not. I did see “Mamma Mia” while I was in Montreal. If it’s still playing when you read this, go see it! It is an absolute delight, you just sit there with a silly grin on your face throughout the show, tapping your feet and singing along to the well-known tunes. The perfect escapist summer fare!Well, that’s all for this week, folks. Please note that you can now read this and all the other columns you enjoy in the PV Mirror at www.pvmirror.com If you want to write to me directly, my new email address is easy: sheis@ymail.com L’Shana Tova to all my Jewish readers and until next time, may your mirror always reflect a happy, healthy you! Hasta luego.

September 25, 2008

2008-09-25T17:55:00.002-05:00

It has been a very exciting time for me this past week, and I apologize to those of you who are used to have me upload this column every weekend.

We’ve all been working very hard, putting together our new paper, the PV Mirror. If all goes as planned, it should be out in the streets by Saturday, October 4th – if not sooner.

Also, you’ll be able to read this column in the Mirror’s web site, regularly, every week without fault.

In the meantime, on a personal level, I finally got my little Tracker back, 10 days late. It was very strange for me, not having wheels for so long. I wouldn’t have minded so much taking the bus to the various places I had to go, but as a matter of principle, I refused to pay for a taxi to bring me back with all the stuff I had to buy, a.k.a.: food!

In any case, the first day I got it back, I tried to do everything at the same time. I’m sure you know that’s not possible, especially in Puerto Vallarta. What should normally take 10 minutes, ends up taking an hour…

I did notice the number of stores and restaurants that have closed, apparently forever. And a number of them are being literally torn apart inside, with mounds of debris on the sidewalk in front. Very sad, destruction and construction. I just hope that new endeavors will appear where others have not fared well. Basilio Badillo used to be such a lively, exciting street. Now it looks deserted – except for Steve’s Place. All sorts of folks in there, having fun and enjoying good food.

I also noticed that they’ve added new signs in the Benito Juarez parking garage. They obviously want to make it easier for visitors to understand the way it operates, which is a good thing. But –and there’s always a “but”- why can’t the owners get someone who speaks English to write out the four or five words correctly? I realize that I’m being picky, but still… Who was the maven in linguistics who told them to write “Pay before entering to your car”? Reminds me of that dental clinic in Plaza Villas Vallarta that had that huge sign out on the sidewalk that read “Walking clinic”.

It also looks like they’re back to their old tricks with the stop signs on the south side of town. Once again, they’re facing the wrong way on one-way streets so that no one who’s obeying the legal direction of the traffic can see them…

I witnessed something this week that can only happen in Puerto Vallarta… I had to go out –probably for the last time- to the offices of the Tribune, to pick up some papers. On the way there, Ecuador Street was flooded with about 6 inches of water, higher than the sidewalks. The weird thing is that Ecuador is way up high on the hill. Anyway, on my return trip, which was less than an hour later, there was no sign of the flood. None. The street was clean and dry. Couldn’t tell where the water came from, nor where it went …or evaporated with the heat. Very strange indeed.

Food? Ah, yes! I went to try Jason’s specials at the Back Alley Steakhouse on Wednesday night, $279 pesos per couple. Wow! I don’t know how that young man does it, but the place was full, and the portions huge. I must tell you: the salmon I ordered was just superb! And my friends literally licked their plates clean. I couldn’t. I ended up taking half of mine home, it was just too much for one meal.

Having been “away” (in Montreal, then in the house …carless), I’ve been doing a lot of getting together with friends for lunches and dinners, way more than usual. Another day, I went to meet some at the Beach House, that fabulous little place next door to El Dorado on Los Muertos beach. They have a lot of succulent items on their menu, but the Salade Niçoise is nothing short of amazing. If you haven’t had lunch there yet, do give Marco and his staff a try! You won’t be sorry. Tomorrow, I’m going back to Vitea on the Malecon, and then to El Arrayan while Carmen still has those yummy Chiles en Nogada during the Month of the Patría…

Addendum: Guess what? I had to park in the Benito Juarez garage again... someone changed the signs. They now read "Pay before returning to your car." Yeay! English! I guess someone must have told them...

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now, folks.
Stay happy, keep healthy, and enjoy our last rains ‘cause they’re bound to end soon, which does not make me happy. Hasta luego. My new email address: sheis@ymail.com

September 14, 2008

2008-09-15T18:33:00.004-05:00

First of all, I would like to respond to the gentleman who posted the comment last week.
Among the many reasons why the editor quit was the number of complaints she was receiving week after week about the Tribune’s lack of distribution and the lack of presence on line. No matter how many times she would forward them to the powers-that-be, they told her not to worry as it was not her responsibility, and they would look after it. They never did. Another reason is that she was totally opposed to the new format and their desire to fill the paper with articles downloaded from the internet which had nothing to do with our town. That’s all I can say for now.

When I’m up in the Great White North (which thank heavens it is not at this time of year), I try to keep up with the news in PV through the internet, and by chatting with my friends who are on one of the servers’ instant messaging systems. I also check out the various bulletin boards / forums on the net.

While checking out JR’s www.vallartascene.com forum, I was saddened to learn of the passing of Liz Broughal, announced by her business partner and friend, Anjalla Berttall. Liz was the co-founder and owner of Puerto Vallarta Vacation Baby, a business offering a much needed product in PV. Her business will be carried on by Anjalla under the name Lots for Tots Mexico. If you’re a grandparent, or want to find something for friends of yours coming down this winter with little ones, you can check it out at
www.LotsForTotsMexico.com

I have to tell you, I am really not impressed by the events this past week; more killings, shoot-outs, violence, etc. Not a good thing! Not for Vallarta’s image, and certainly not for its people.

Now that I’m back – thank heavens – it’s no better. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely delighted to be back HOME, rain or not, but the news is still awful. I heard that there were a number of chain emails going around asking people not to attend the famous “grito” on Independence Day as a protest against the wave of violence and social insecurity permeating the country. In fact, to the best of my knowledge of Mexico’s fascinating history, the only time changes occurred was when the people got together to oppose something (a.k.a. revolted) in one way or another, as a unified force. Perhaps something similar will happen again. Only time will tell.

On the flight back to PV, I was sitting next to a lovely lady from Florida, a grandma like me, but much younger looking. She was going to have a get together with other female family members of hers who live somewhere in the Midwest, and whom she hadn’t seen in a couple of years. They were planning a fabulous one-week holiday in what they were told was Puerto Vallarta. It wasn’t.

Their reservations were at the Grand Mayan in Nuevo Vallarta, but their travel agent had told them it was in Puerto Vallarta. Again, don’t get me wrong, please. I know that they will be staying in a wonderful resort, no doubt about that. But I really thought that with the creation of the Rivera Nayarit name, this kind of shenanigans would stop. Obviously, it did not. I felt bad for them, just because after talking to me, she was eager to get to know Puerto Vallarta, and now she and her relatives would have to pay a pretty penny just to get here and back.

Talking about which, when I arrived at PV’s airport, I had to take a cab as the only people I would ask to come pick me up couldn’t. So I asked the dispatcher how much it would cost me to Basilio Badillo. He said $280 Pesos. I said, “No way, the Colonia Emiliano Zapata is still considered the center zone. I’m not paying that kind of money.” (It’s a matter of principle…) So he hailed another driver, who drove up with a full-size van! He only wanted $230 Pesos. Done deal, plus he was very nice, we had a lovely conversation, and his cab was air-conditioned. Boy, was I happy to be home again.

Upon my return, I got to see the current issue of the paper for which I worked for eleven years. I found it very sad, especially the page filled with letters from readers criticizing what it has become. And none of the letters were answered. I also noticed the big ad they inserted, offering home delivery – for a price! That’s something they never wanted to do before, while I was there. And if they could never get their distribution system to function properly, how will they get home delivery to do so? Curiouser and curiouser. Oh well, I’m not an accountant, so, as I’ve said many times since I left: “Que les vaya bien.”

Haven’t got much else to share for now, but if I do, I promise to update this blog.
Keep well, my dear faithful readers, and do keep those emails coming. Note my new email address: sheis@ymail.com

September 7, 2008

2008-09-07T22:26:00.004-05:00

Well, by now I'm sure you've noticed the changes in the Tribune. Aside from the fact that its editor for the last seven years or so has quit, this column is no longer published in that publication.

I am posting this in Montreal, my former home town, where the weather is as crazy as always, if not more so. It was 32 degrees Centrigrade a couple of days ago and today it was a most uncomfortable, rainy 14 ! My friends tell me it was the worst summer they can remember... As I've said on numerous occasions, we've really screwed up this planet of ours.

I've only got one incident to share with you at this moment. It happened on my Mexicana flight up here, but I should give you a little forword first. The rear calipers on my little old Miata were killed by time ...and rust. So I called the Mazda dealer in Montreal, who told me I could get replacements for $100. each - a huge savings over the regular price, but only on one condition: I had to bring the old ones in. What the dealer did not tell me was that each weighed a zillion pounds. OK, so I put them in my carry-on bag so as not to pay for excess luggage at 5 dollars a gram... (I'm joking, of course.) I read all the rules on Mexicana's internet web site, so I knew that I could not put my bag in the overhead rack as it was superheavy, and could pose a danger if it should fall out. I had to put it under the seat in front of me but... it did not fit as I had chosen a window seat. So I pushed it in as far as it would go and hoped for the best.

The stewardess, or flight attendant as they are called nowadays, came by, saw the bag sticking out and told me, ordered me, to put it in the overhead bin. I told her it was super heavy and thus illegal to be stored up there. That's when she switched tone and using the same voice as that TelMex woman who lets us know when a line is busy (as if we didn't know), snapped "Then we're going to bring it down in the cargo hold!" Now remember, her colleague had just finished informing all the passengers over the PA system that "nothing heavy should be placed in the overhead bins"! I repeated that it was very heavy - and I'm not kidding here - to which she responded, "Don't worry. The plane is well built; it will support the weight." Sure, but the law says NO. She sends me one of those oh-so-pleasant "I am in charge here and you're not" looks, and repeats her threat to place it in the cargo hold.

No way, ma'am. That was not going to happen, not with my two calipers, my laptop and all my accessory cords in there, it wouldn't. So I had a nice gentleman help me heave it up into the bin ...and hoped that the door wouldn't open to let it fall out and onto an unsuspecting passenger's head.

So that was my experience with Mexicana this year, the only event I thought you might be interested in. The rest of the few days I've been here so far was devoted to family matters ...and eating, dining, enjoying all those little delicacies Montreal is renowned for, so I won't bore you with my kvelling over fresh croissants, real baguettes, freshly-picked blueberries and "peaches & cream" corn, strawberry rhubarb pie, 15% coffee cream, etc. etc.

I promise to let you know if anything funny or potentially interesting happens within the next while. In the meantime, if you're reading this in Puerto Vallarta, enjoy yourselves 'cause it really is paradise, folks - at least as far as the weather goes.

Take care, and hasta luego. Please note my new email address: sheis@ymail.com

August 30, 2008

2008-08-31T12:14:00.002-05:00

This week’s column was supposed to appear in the Vallarta Tribune as usual, but it did not. So those of you who are reading me on line will get to share my unedited comments about the week that was.

There is something I forgot to mention in my column last week, which I really intended to share with you. When I was visiting the mezzanine / check-in level at the airport, I heard some beautiful music, which I recognized, one that I love. It was by that wonderful duo, “Arcano”, broadcast from a little stand with a screen showing their performance. A little group of people were standing around it, waiting to pay for the group’s CD, which a gentleman was selling. I went over to ask him WHERE the duo was playing, as I had not seen them anywhere for a while now. He told me that they’re at the sMall Vallarta shopping center downtown, just about every evening. So now you know too. (Unfortunately, the Department of Culture doesn’t even bother advertising them at all.) If you haven’t heard them yet, do give a listen. You might just fall in love with them and their music, like I did.

I have often described or listed the many reasons for which I love Puerto Vallarta, and one of the most prevalent ones is the unpredictability of events in this town. We never know what will happen, but something always does, something new, something we haven’t experienced - no matter how long we’ve been here.

A couple of days after moving down here from Montreal, some fourteen years ago, friends and I were having dinner at La Palapa, on the beach, when one of those humongous sea turtles came up on the beach, right beside us, where she proceeded to dig a hole where she then laid her one hundred or so eggs. It was magical, like being on a natural set for a National Geographic documentary feature. As the years went by, I realized that some folks have lived here for much, much longer than I have, and yet have never been lucky enough to witness this awesome event.

I consider myself blessed. Never does a day go by that something, no matter how small, doesn’t happen to make me thank heavens for being here. Sometimes it’s pleasant and sometimes it’s not, but it’s always the kind of thing that would probably never happen in Montreal. And when it’s something unpleasant, it usually makes us laugh, or at least smile, which always reminds me of my friend Barry’s statement to me so many years ago: “You either laugh, or you leave.” So I’ve learned to laugh - even though sometimes I don’t until “it” has already happened.

Example: As we were negotiating the Grand Slalom course along the infamous Libramiento (the one with the potholes described in last week’s cartoon) on our way to our last fabulous dinner at Barcelona Tapas -until it reopens in October- my friend who intends to settle in Vallarta casually ventured, “I don’t understand why they bother putting in all these speed bumps… What with all the potholes around, you would think that folks would be driving very carefully…” We both laughed. He’s got the right attitude.

Ah, yes, attitude. We see all kinds of ‘em in this town. This town has more interesting characters than a fiction writer could invent in his wildest dreams, and more tales to tell. It’s no wonder that so many books have been written about this place. I remember one acquaintance of mine who wanted to write his memoirs of life here (after only eleven years) and title it “The Last Resort”. For many it is.

By the time you read this, I will be getting ready to leave for my yearly week-long visit with my children up in the Great White North. This column will no longer be published in the Vallarta Tribune, so if you want to keep up with my weekly blather, you’ll just have to read it in this blog …for the time being.

About five years ago, the then President of the Tourism Commission at City Hall was wondering if “Vallarta was losing its magic…” Councilman Agustín Alvarez considered that the main problems that were beginning to damage the city were the deterioration of its image as a “typical pueblito”, public safety, and the tranquility that have all characterized it for so many years. “I think that when it comes to streets, we’ve already gone past the eleventh hour, we are way behind in matters of visual order and efficient transportation, for tourists and locals alike. They have managed to achieve this in other towns and we must preserve downtown Puerto Vallarta as our main attraction.”

Back then, he also qualified as “strange and inexplicable” the decision of the President of the Urban Development Commission of the LVII legislature, regarding the revocation of the license number 190/05, suspending the work, and totally demolishing the Grand Venetian development.

Five years have passed since then, and not much has been done in those respects. The Grand Venetian is just about completed, as are all the other humungous towers whose building permits were illegally acquired. The Mayor who issued them wasn’t even given a slap on the wrist, and neither were his cronies in the municipal government. So what else is new?

I came across a quote I find most appropriate at this time: “The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.” ~ Josh Billings

Nevertheless, in spite and despite everything, we should consider ourselves lucky. Besides, our weather is a whole lot better than so many of the destinations with which Vallarta competes for the almighty tourist dollar, and we have so many more conveniences than they have - while still being a beach resort.

To all my readers, local and first-timers alike, I wish a wonderful stay in this very special place we like to call home. Enjoy yourselves, visit as many places and as many of our wonderful restaurants as you can (of the few that remain open this month), and if anyone asks you what time it is, just tell them that the time is NOW … none better than the moment itself. As my favorite late night talk show host likes to say: “tomorrow’s just a future yesterday.” So live today to the fullest ...and do take care of each other. Hasta luego.

Please note that I have a new email if you want to communicate with me:

sheis@ymail.com and remember you can always read me online here.

August 23, 2008

2008-08-23T12:23:00.002-05:00

This was originally intended to be a diary of a couple of days in my life in the «paradise» that is Puerto Vallarta, but it’s turned into a little more...

It all started at noon on Thursday, August 14th. The thermometer showed 36oC (that’s equivalent to approximately 98oF in the U.S.) in the shade. I had to go out to the airport to pick up a friend of ours. As I had some time to kill (even without knowing that his flight would come in late), I figured I would take the day’s issue of the Tribuna de la Bahía with me, to read while I was waiting.

By the time I got there, the car was hot, despite the air conditioning unit working at full force. True, she is 8 years old… I noticed -again- that they corrected the sign that used to read «Nice Trip», which never made much sense to me. Now it says «Have a Nice Trip». That’s better. I walked into the terminal, expecting -and looking forward- to be hit by a wave of cold air, like usual, but that was not to be. As we were all standing there, madly fanning ourselves with whatever we could as the drops of sweat trickled down our faces, I got two different explanations from a couple of the young men waiting for clients of their travel agencies. One was «the air conditioning is not turned on», while the other was «the air conditioning system can’t cope with the all the hot air coming in each time the doors open» …which is every few seconds. Whatever the case, it was most uncomfortable.

I looked around for a place to sit. No such thing. I looked for the screen that normally shows arrivals, it was dark. Nothing there. I asked one of the airport employees if any of the screens were working, she told me that the one at the other end of our now expanded, huge international airport did. As I had already walked the entire length, upstairs and downstairs, looking for Starbucks and a cup of espresso, I was in no mood to undertake the trek again, especially considering the fact that I had put on high(er) heels to look nice for my friend.
I still wanted to sit down, so I went to the little bar nearest the time share enclosure through which all international passengers must pass before entering the airport lobby per se. Having already had my espresso while perusing the various shops on the upper level, I figured a would ask for a Coke Zero, for my friend, which would entitle me to a chair. They don’t carry Coke Zero, and no, I could not use one of their chairs if I didn’t want anything else.

Two gentlemen, airport employees both, were sitting there. They invited me to join them, despite the waitress’ menacing looks. I accepted and we started chatting. «Isn’t is stupid,» one of them asked, «not to let anyone sit down? The other day, I had to go up to my office to get one of the chairs there and bring it down for an old lady I thought was going to pass out. We do our best to welcome the tourists so they’ll have only nice things to say about Vallarta, and look what these bar and coffee shop owners do!» He’s right of course. But who you gonna call? The airport authorities obviously don’t care. I saw an «older» couple sit on the floor. They just couldn’t stand any longer.

«And when are they going to install a clock?» I asked the two fellows. They burst out laughing. The older one asked me if I remembered the huge digital clock that was up on the wall above the now disappeared escalators. I remembered. It was never connected. I think we have the only airport in the world without at clock anywhere. On the other hand, that shouldn’t surprise anyone, especially when we’re talking about the only city with a parking garage built on prime beachfront property.

Getting back to the events of that day, my friend’s flight finally landed, everyone came out of the time share «obstacle course» safe, sound, and unscathed, and we both drove into town to have lunch at ViteA (he had missed it a lot since his last visit a couple of months ago). As we passed the main square, he exclaimed, «They still haven’t painted over that ugly Hooters sign!» Our lunch at ViteA was excellent - as always. It was a beautiful day.

As the evening approached, another friend -with whom we were going to have dinner at Maximilian’s to sample the special Greek menu they’re offering this month- called to tell me that it was raining way too hard for her to attempt the perilous descent from her aerie up in Amapas. A few minutes later, the cloudburst hit Alta Vista.

Some of you may recall the flooding I experienced throughout the house last year at this time. Back then, it was the water and the mud coming down from the various unfinished construction sites up in the hilly Amapas area. Stuff that had previously been absorbed by the earth, the trees and their roots growing in it, now replaced by cement and concrete. But now it was different. Now it was clean, clear rainwater that came in so fast and furious that the city’s system could not cope with it. So once again, out came the brooms to sweep the current of water out of our living room and dining room, and out the front door …while the big bath towels were pushed up against closed doors to stop the water from entering the various rooms along the way. In the middle of it all, one of my kitties found herself stranded in a tree, during the worst part of the downpour. She was terrified, screaming hysterically, which is why I could hear her above the sound of the storm. By the time I got her down, she and I both looked like drowned rats. As I told my friend after it was all over, I felt as if I had gone through three full routines at the gym, not just one. Needless to say, I slept very well that night.

My colleague, T.J., sent me an email referring to what he called our «monsoon season» (some 6 inches in a couple of hours!!!). He wrote: «As a result of the heavy downpour, it would be interesting to check out some of the local underground car baths, er - underground parking facilities - at the new condo projects in the area.» If anyone out there has any juicy information to share on this topic, please don’t hesitate to send us a little email.

When the rains stopped, and my satellite feed of the Olympic Games reappeared, I heard the frogs sing. What a wonderful sound! The background track was provided by the crickets, or cicadas, I’m never sure.

The next day, when my girl Enya arrived, she looked around the house and said, very nonchalantly, «you had another flood, I see.» «Yes, we did, how can you tell? Just because the floors are immaculate?» «Yup.»

We got another rainstorm two days later, on Saturday, but this time, I was a little wiser. I set up my own version of sand bags (using crunched up plastic bags) to block all the entrances the rain might take into the house. There was no rain the next three days, but we did get one of the most impressive, spectacular sunset I’ve ever seen. We always talk about how many nuances of green the mountains sport at this time of year, but that night it was the blues that were incredible, and the fiery red separating those of the bay from those of the sky and the clouds above.

These last few days, the air has been as clear as could be. Every ridge on the mountains on the north shore could be seen. The mountains that surround us are more beautiful than they have been in years, and the Cuale River is powerfully charging forward, running for the ocean, as if it were competing in its own Olympics.Have a wonderful week, dear readers. Keep well and take care of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Aug. 16, 2008

2008-08-17T12:41:00.003-05:00

SHE SAID...

…nothing much about “Living in Vallarta”. The only thing that stands out in my mind is the radar traps coming out of the tunnel, in both directions. Watch out, and keep it down to 40 kph, folks!

I’m stuck on the Olympics this week. There is something definitely magical and beautiful that happens during the Olympics, especially among the residents of the host city. If you were around 100 years ago in St. Louis, Missouri, or during the last century in L.A., Mexico City, Montreal, or at the Winter Games in Salt Lake City, Squaw Valley, Lake Placid, or Calgary, you know what I’m talking about.

Differences -and wars- are supposed to be set aside for the duration of the Games, just as it was decreed thousands of years ago. (The decree during the original Olympiads applied to all cities in the realm, not just the host city.) In my particular case, it was nice to see the French and the English speaking to each other, everyone was happy, everyone was friends when my former home town, Montreal, hosted the Olympic Games in 1976 – just as they had been nine years earlier for Expo, our World’s Fair in 1967.

I was lucky. I got to see the incredible «perfect 10» performance of Romania’s then 14-year-old gymnast, Nadia Comenici. It made me very proud to be Romanian too. Unfortunately, the previous Olympiad had been marred by the first terrorist attack – against the Israeli team in Munich, in 1972. They had to whisk Mark Spitz and his 7 world record setting gold medals away, just because he was Jewish too. Little did we know what would happen three decades later... We have to hope and pray that these Olympic games will evolve as they should: in the spirit of sportsmanship and universal friendship. Four years ago, as I was watching the Games televised from Athens, I found it very symbolic that the Israeli judo champ should win his medal exactly on the 32^nd anniversary of the massacre of his country’s team in Munich. Now I hear that Phelps, the amazing American swimmer, will try to beat Spitz’ 7 gold medal record.

According to AFP, legendary Spitz won’t be on hand in Beijing because, he says, «no one bothered to invite him.» Is he miffed? Darn right, he is! «They voted me one of the top five Olympians in all time … I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too,» he added. Spitz said it would have been a great idea if he could be the one presenting the gold medals to Phelps, who has for years been candid about his ambition to eclipse the mark of seven golds. May the gods on Mount Olympus smile upon you, Michael!

This time around, with the Games being in Beijing, I find myself getting up at 6 a.m. just to watch the events «live». Bear in mind that I am anything but a morning person, so this is playing havoc with my internal clock. Am I addicted to the Olympic Games? Yes. And yes, of course, I will be stuck to my TV until they end. I don’t normally watch sports on TV, but this and the World Cup (of soccer) are different. I also very much appreciate the advantage of legal and «not-so-legal» satellite feeds than enable us to watch other countries’ viewpoints and reports on the Games. With all due respect to the many qualities of American TV stations, I much prefer the other countries’ coverage of the Games. They admit and realize that the Games are for all 204 participating nations, and just because an American athlete isn’t expected to win the gold in any particular event doesn’t mean that such event should not be covered…

Getting back to these 6 a.m. reports, I must admit that the opening ceremonies in the «Bird’s Nest» were unlike anything we’ve ever seen before, nothing short of awesome, incredible, stupendous; I think that even the announcers ran out of superlatives to describe them. The same thing must have happened in India when Abhinav Bindra became the first individual athlete to win the coveted gold medal for India (in the 10-meter air rifle) thus ending decades of Olympic misery for India, the world’s second most populous nation - and a perennial underachiever at the games.

With the internet being what it is today, it is also fascinating to watch replays and read statistics online – as they happen. However, I never cease to be amazed by the continuous stream of spam that I’ve been receiving lately. It is all directed to my spam box, but I still check it, just in case something important has somehow been categorized as spam just ‘cause I didn’t have the sender’s email address in my list.

So Dr. William Smith writes «It me williams please reply your mail», while others have «URGENT REPLY!» Mr. Geir Helmerson tells me «YOU HAVE WON 1,500,000.00 *CONGRATULATIONS*». Others start with «Dearest beloved, please urgent response needed.» Sounds like the beginning of a funeral service… I guess it makes sense, considering that they go on to tell me about the deceased relative who has left someone or other zillions of whatever currency. If even one of the hundreds of such emails I’ve been getting over the years were legit, I would be a multi-zillionaire by now… I also get a whole bunch of «pre-approved credit» card applications, from all sorts of banks …except Santander! Of course. I’ve only been applying for that one for some three years now… And then there’s the newer rash of «Become a CSI, Anna!» What is that all about? Who, other than my friends, knows that I’m addicted to all the CSI programs on TV? Maybe the Mayor of Puerto Vallarta installed one of his 48 surveillance cameras in my living room, aimed at our TV, so that he could report my viewing habits to those Spam generators… Who knows? At this point, I wouldn’t put anything past anyone. By the way, have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

One of the Canadian Olympians is an incredible 58-year old (yes, you read right!) woman called Susan Nattrass who made sports history at the 1976 Olympic Games in Montreal as the first and only woman entered in the trap shooting event. She’s been an Olympian for some 40 years! Anyway, she stated in a televised interview that her motto is «If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.» What a wise woman! I think I might just follow her motto too.

Have a fabulous week, enjoy the heavenly sound & light shows, and do take care of each other! Hasta luego! pvmom04@yahoo.com Please remember that you can always find this column here …even if you can’t find the Tribune on line.

August 9,2008

2008-08-13T00:03:00.001-05:00

Sorry about my lateness in posting this, dear reader. I'll try to be more punctual in the future...

My original intention this week was to devote the entire column to the breathtaking thunderstorms we’ve been getting every evening recently. Actually, I was going to start it with «It was a dark and stormy night…» just ‘cause I remembered a post on one of the local forums / bulletin boards many years ago, wherein the author wrote about how much he loathed reading my weekly blather, adding that all one had to do to see how self-centered I was, was to count the number of times I used the word «I». Despite the fact that no one forced the gentleman to read my writings, I wondered… how is one supposed to express one’s personal opinion about things without using the appropriate personal pronoun? But I digress…

I also remembered a letter to the editor we received many moons ago in which the author wrote about the summer storms in Puerto Vallarta. She said it all, and very beautifully. However, although she spoke well of the effect these storms have on humans, she didn’t get into the physical (as in physics) effects of the thunder and lightning that accompany these awesome, marvelous meteorological events. Having spent most of my adult life up in Montreal, I was lucky to see the northern lights at this time of year, often. They appear surreal, like something out of a science fiction movie, that’s true, but they’re quiet, totally silent, just undulating up there, way up in some layer of the atmosphere, in soft folds of turquoise and blues. It’s a «sound & light» show ...without the sound.

Vallarta thunderstorms, on the other hand, are anything but quiet. They are full-fledged shows - sound, lights, action! The thunder reverberates against the mountains that surround the bay, amplifying the noise many times over. Sometimes it feels so very close, as if the lightning that preceded it hit the tree next door. And the lightning here dances between the cumulonimbus clouds ...parallel to the horizon, not vertically like the «common» kind! Sometimes it starts at one end of the bay and streaks across to the other.

A few nights ago, there was no rain. But there was a storm raging somewhere way out there, to the northwest. All we could see was the lightning illuminating the huge clouds in that particular area, while overhead the sky was nearly clear, with a bright moon accompanied by myriad stars. And all was quiet - here.

There’s another reason I love this time of year. I’ve gotten in the habit of putting a clean pail outside my door when it looks as if we’re going to get «a good one». The next day, I strain the water into empty bottles that I refrigerate. You think bottled water is good? You haven’t tasted «good» water until you’ve drunk rainwater. It is truly special, clean, pure, and very soft! I do not look forward to the end of the «rainy» season.

Meanwhile, those streets in Vallarta that have been the topic of discussion for the various successive administrations over so many years continue to flood every time we get a big downpour. I saw cars nearly floating on Morelos. By next morning, the sun comes out and the steep streets are dry, but not Francisco Villa Boulevard! I have heard it said that correcting the problem would involve so much tearing up of streets around that area that no administration wants to even contemplate the cost, both financial and social. Nevertheless, someone will have to do something sometime. Maybe mañana... And maybe mañana, the buses and taxis will remember that people –locals and tourists- are the ones they soak as they race through those flooded streets with complete impunity.

Before I forget, thank you to all of you who continue to call me and send me emails to inform me of their encounters with frogs, especially the gentleman who called me to tell me that he couldn’t walk through his patio because a whole bunch of those cute little guys were having a fiesta there, between the street and his front door. After I finished laughing at the image it conjured up in my mind, I recommended that he shuffle his feet, slowly, so as not to step on one of those endangered little amphibians by mistake.

Still on little creatures, my grandson noticed something I hadn’t seen in years, literally: a single little firefly, flitting around my front door, all by itself. What wondrous creatures they are! Years ago, they used to be all over the place in the summer time. I used to turn out all the lights and just sit there, watching them perform their luminous little dances. I wonder if they’re on their way to extinction too, like the bees.

Here’s some trivia for you for this week: Fireflies were a part of ancient Mayan mythology, often being associated with the stars. They were also associated with cigar smoking and may have had at least one representative in the pantheon of Mayan gods. The ancient Chinese sometimes captured fireflies in transparent containers and used them as lanterns, short term of course. At one point, the State of Indiana seriously considered making the State’s insect a firefly, but the legislature never put the measure to a vote…

Ah, yes, legislatures… wouldn’t it be amazing if this town really did end up with a state-of-the-art waste disposal system, for real? I think it might just suffice to counterbalance all the negative points our mayor has been accumulating lately… Well, maybe not. I forgot how many there are.

What else have these legislating bodies done lately? Well, I understand that they’ve reinstalled some of the parking meters downtown, the ones they installed and then removed a few days later, a few months ago. Personally, I’ve given up on trying to find a parking spot downtown, so I haven’t even noticed their reappearance.

On the other hand, I must admit that I find this project of setting up video cameras all over the place … a little unnerving, to say the least. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those many exhibitionists I’ve seen around town. No video «watcher» in city hall is ever going to see me walking around the Malecon in a G-string. (I would never subject anyone to such a scary sight.) However, this is getting very close to George Orwell’s vision of 1984, a little delayed perhaps, but still unnerving. It’s okay to promote Vallarta all over the world with Big Brother episodes filmed in luxurious villas up in ritzy Conchas Chinas, but that’s where I draw the line.
On the other hand, if the system is going to function as well as the video cameras they supposedly installed in the police’s patrol cars a few years ago, then we have nothing to worry about. They were never put into operation, despite all the hullabaloo that was made about them at the time. Perhaps there was no one at city hall who could read the instructions…
By the time you read this, the Olympic Games should be in full swing. I hope and pray that no unpleasant events take place. May the best athletes win!

I wish you all a wonderful week, filled with sunshiny days, and thunder-filled nights. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

August 3, 2008

2008-08-03T22:48:00.003-05:00

Vallarta is like everywhere else, people share bad stuff. They write letters to the editors about bad stuff. The top items on the news programs and on the front page of the big daily papers …are bad stuff. While the good stuff gets relegated to a sound bite at the end of the news program - like an oddity - or a tiny little insert tucked away somewhere in the back pages of the daily paper.

And every time I note this - consciously - it makes me think. Why have so many, many of us chosen to live here? Why would so many, many of us live here for years and years, and sometimes die here, if there weren’t something so very unique, so very extra-special about Vallarta? What IT is, I couldn’t say. We’ve tried to «put our finger on it», to define it, over and over again. Everyone I know has. But like love between two people, IT is something that is ethereal, impalpable, abstract. It’s an overall feeling. It grows on you and before you know it, you find that you’ve joined the rest of the folks who always have something to complain about whenever you meet them, but who all end the conversations with something akin to «Well, this is where we’ve chosen to live, isn’t it?» Yup. This is indeed where we have CHOSEN to live, and the key word here is CHOSEN. We made our decisions as logical, rational, thinking beings. In most cases, the decision was neither a rash nor an impulsive one. We knew what we were getting into, so there is no one to blame …other than ourselves.

Most of us would like to have all the so-called comforts of «back home» but also all the charm and laid back lifestyle we enjoy here. That’s tantamount to having your cake and eating it too. I used to say that it doesn’t happen. But it does, here in Vallarta. And every time the Tribune publishes a letter of complaint from a disappointed visitor, there are literally thousands who go back home thinking that Vallarta is the best! The Tribuna de la Bahía conducts regular polls among tourists at the airport, so I know this to be true. But these contented visitors don’t write to tell us about it.

Many just come back year after year, and tell their friends about everything they loved about Vallarta, and these friends come down and they too fall in love with our little not-so-perfect-all-the-time paradise. Then they buy some time share, or rent a place, and many eventually buy property here, and that is how and why the number of local expatriates keeps on increasing. And then they experience the little trials and tribulations that we all complain about and they start to complain too. However, if you are among the lucky ones who have made Mexican friends down here, and you sit down to chat with them about all this, chances are excellent that they will respond with something like «You think that’s bad? Do you want me to tell you what happened to me when I was in (insert the name of any big city in the U.S., Canada or Europe here)?» And they will counter your experience with the defective ATM machine with another story that is much more hair-raising, if not scary.

And if you’re talking to someone up north who’s complaining about the cold, or the snow or the ice, you tell them «So why don’t you come down here and warm your bones for a while?» And you respond the same way when they tell you how fed up they are with their job, or how inefficient the local/state/federal government is «there», don’t you? I know I do. Because I know that every one of my friends and relatives who has come down here has left refreshed, relaxed, re-energized …and in love with Vallarta.

So what am I getting at here? I guess what I’m saying is that every once in a while, I feel that I have to step back, take a good long look around, maybe close my eyes for a while before re-opening them to see the beauty around me in a more clear, fresh way, and then remember why I fell in love with this place to start with, way back then. So what if the fellow who was supposed to come repair my computer never came? So what if my friend had to wait two weeks to have his refrigerator repaired after being told it would be ready in «a couple of days»? In the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t a big deal.

My friends and I often joke about what we considered to be «big deals» over the years we’ve lived here. Fourteen years ago, it used to be super special prices on toilet paper, then it became the variety of great cheeses the Mexican dairy industry began to market, then the appearance of new ethnic restaurants in town, but then, with the arrival of Sam’s, Wal-Mart and Office Depot, we had to find other topics of conversation …like the fact that, quite often, something we remembered seeing at Sam’s was no longer there the next time we went. That quickly became a common topic (of dissatisfaction) among the local expat community.

World events are something that I try not to touch upon too often in this space, but with all the natural disasters happening around us, like hurricanes, typhoons, earthquakes and floods, I cannot help but think of that movie, «The Day After Tomorrow». And I remember the National Geographic issue with the cover that screamed «Global Warning» in big, big letters, back in 2004. It is filled with satellite photos and glacier core samples, showing the damage we’ve done to our beautiful little blue planet over the last 50 years or so. And then I think of the fight being waged right here in Vallarta by the Ecological Group, and other environmentally-conscious organizations ...and the fact that no one in authority appears to be listening. And then I think of «Soylent Green».

And talking about movies, one of my friends (who shall remain unnamed to protect the «innocents») lent me some of her pirated DVDs she purchased so that I could see the movies that no one else wanted to go see in the theater. Wow! Some of those DVDs are really, but really, bad! I guess that at two bucks a shot, we shouldn’t expect HD quality. Another bit of trivia -which I noticed on the internet- shows Christian Bale at the premier of his Batman movie …in Spain. Over there, they call the movie «Batman: El Caballero Oscuro», i.e.: The Dark Horseman / Gentleman / Knight, as opposed to the title used here in Mexico, which is «Batman: El Caballero de la Noche», i.e.: The Horseman / Gentleman / Knight of the Night. Different countries, different words, different interpretations.

And still on pirated stuff, did you see where China has sold over one million cases of Cerono beer last year? Yes, you read right. The bottles look exactly like the Corona ones, so folks don’t even notice… And I assume that the Corona folks have no recourse at law, otherwise …well, who knows what they could do? By the way, have you got something very special planned for this Friday, the ultra-lucky 08/08/08 day? I guess that if I were a gamblin' man, I would ... Just make sure you have plenty of popcorn and other snacks -and real Corona beer- as you settle in for 10 days of Olympic Games coverage on TV. I wish those beautifully trained athletes a lotta luck as they attempt to survive the incredible levels of air pollution in that part of the world. I don't envy them...

I wish you all a wonderful week. Get out there and enjoy the manta rays and the dolphins in the bay. They are truly a sight to see! Thank you for reading us and …hasta luego! pvmom04@yahoo.com

July 27, 2009

2008-07-28T17:20:00.002-05:00

Josh Freed, whose humorous articles we get to enjoy from time to time in the Tribune (thanks to his personal friendship with our editor) produced and starred in a one-hour TV special entitled «My Messy Life». It is funny and enlightening, tackling a subject I –for one- find fascinating: messiness. The program contains interviews with international VIPs, legislators, famous authors, as well as psychologists specializing in the matter.

Now my place is nowhere as messy as Mr. Freed’s, there are no piles of books and papers on the floor, but every other horizontal surface in my office, the living room and the dining room, is filled with mountains of magazines and newspaper clippings, dating back some 14 years.

Over that period of time, I have cut out –and kept- every article I considered «important to keep» or «potentially interesting to our readers», as well as every local English-language magazine and paper published in Vallarta …and in some other Mexican tourist destinations. I admit it openly: I have always been, and still am …a pack rat. And those items I just mentioned amount to a lot of stuff, believe me.

Anyway, I couldn’t tell you what came over me, maybe it was some unconscious fear that my life and my surroundings would turn into something similar to Freed’s «Messy Life», or maybe it was the hot, steamy, cloudy weather last weekend, but I decided to tackle at least one area of my mountain chain of papers, the one in my office. I managed to get through four foot-high piles, paper by paper. (I still have five or six more to do, in other parts of the house…) The reason for which I’m sharing all this with you is because, in my careful triage, I came across some clippings whose headlines might amuse any of you who live here and / or are familiar with local happenings. Most are cases of oft-read, repetitive, surreal déjà vu, or to be more exact, déjà lu. Here goes:

November, 1999:

- Vallarta’s 970 taxis to get more stands in exchange for taking training courses & wearing uniforms as of January 1st, 2000

- City Council to approve Urban Development Plan which would green light the Fluvial Vallarta development project, maintain current city limits, and preserve the mountain, among others.

January, 2000 – Former PV Mayor and Federal Deputy Fernando Gonzalez Corona officially leaves the world of politics.

April, 2000:

- USS Valley Forge visits Puerto Vallarta

- Telmex to spend $111 Million pesos on 8,000 new lines around the bay

May, 2000 – Only 2.2% of car owners in Jalisco have car insurance, despite the fact that it has been compulsory for 3 months.

June, 2000:

- Illegal clear cutting in Cabo Corrientes devastating the region.

- Municipal police officers to learn English. Those who already speak it will go on to learn French.

April, 2001:

- PV and Bahia de Banderas municipalities’ hotel associations agree on joint promotion.

- Youngster arrested for graffiti.

- Five years after the site was purchased and 15 months after its «official» inauguration, the new city dump was put into operation, with a geomembrane that will stop noxious substances from seeping into the water table beneath it. According to the authorities, the new dump will serve all the needs of Vallarta for 15 years.

July, 2003 – 4 out of 10 restaurants close within one year. – CANIRAC

August, 2003:

- Taxis must use meters, according to the law. – State Sec’y of Transport, Jalisco

- Bahia de Banderas municipality to seek international government funds to build sewage treatment plant.

- IMSS drowning in Corruption. – President of PV Hotel & Motel Association.

- Turnstiles installed in city buses.

September, 2003 – Turnstiles removed from city buses.

March, 2008:

- Bus fare raised to $5.50 pesos (was $3 pesos in 1998). In exchange, drivers commit themselves to dress appropriately, be polite with passengers and take drug tests every four months. They will receive fixed salaries, thus eliminating the need to race for passengers. The vehicles must be in impeccable condition mirrors placed so as to eliminate «blind spots», with special seating for handicapped, pregnant and older passengers, etc.

- Mandatory separation of solid waste material to begin May 1st, 2008.

Another thing that I find a little surreal, though this time it’s not a Mexican thing, it’s an American one: First the US’ Food & Drug Administration folks assumed that the outbreaks of salmonella were caused by Mexican tomatoes. That assumption was proven to be wrong. Then they went after cilantro, forgetting that cilantro is used to help KILL the salmonella bacteria. Now they’re going after the avocadoes and the jalapeño chili peppers (of which they found ONE bad one in Texas). Why don’t they just come out and say it? They don’t like guacamole and they don’t want anyone else to enjoy it.

And here’s another example of how Mexico is viewed by its northern neighbor: In an Associated Press article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times regarding the first weekend take of the new Batman movie (a record-breaking $158 Million in the U.S.), the reporter wrote, «Overseas, The Dark Knight raked in $40 Million (USD) in 20 countries where it began opening Wednesday, including Australia, Mexico and Brazil.» Think about it. If we’re deemed to be «overseas», it’s no wonder that no Canadian or US-based toll-free 800 numbers function in Mexico. It’s also no wonder that the Customs folks at the border and at the airports in this country sometimes treat us «foreigners» as potential criminals. Maybe they’re just getting even… I’ve read that there are no more red and green lights at PVR’s airport, that all bags are X-rayed and that anyone can be checked …at the discretion of the agents. If any of you can corroborate this, please do let us know. Just send an email to our editor.

In the meantime, as this year’s number of reported cases of dengue rises, the Health authorities have decided to fumigate taxis and buses in order to combat the dengue-carrying mosquitoes. In 2006, they used an insecticide that didn’t do what it was intended to do, so they had to resort to aerial fumigation. However… the stagnant water harboring zillions of those little insects in the pool of the abandoned condo construction site near my place just continues to thrive. It’s been two years now, and no one seems to care… Everyone in the neighborhood is complaining about the increase in flies and mosquitoes…

For my part, I’m a happy camper. For the first time -since the month I spent in the Amazon, over twenty years ago- I spray myself with repellent before going to bed, and then I can watch the amazing sound and light show Mother Nature has been presenting us with during her quasi nightly thunderstorms. Awesome!

I wish you all a fabulous week, keep cool …and well hydrated! And don’t forget your sun block! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com My blog: www.shesaid-7.blogspot.com

July 20, 2008

2008-07-23T22:00:00.003-05:00

First of all, there is some good news I would love to share with you. I received an email from Jay Ailworth. He’s the photographer whose pictures have graced the covers of the Tribune on many, many occasions, as well as the pages of Vallarta Lifestyles and all sorts of boating-related publications as well. Jay entered a photography contest on the internet - along with over 10,000 others! Those were reduced to some 100 whose photos appeared on the site… And Jay’s beautiful photo of a hummingbird was among the finalists’! As a result, Jay won himself a spanking new Nikon D60! Way to go, Jay!

The PV’s Cultural Department put on two excellent performances at the Cuale Cultural Center on the island, but of course, as has become tradition, no one knew about it until after it was over. The program called «A Meeting of Cultures» featured African music, dances and rituals on the 12th of the month, and the Middle Eastern equivalent last Saturday, the 19th. This Saturday’s presentation will feature the Meso-American culture, you may want to pass by there just to check it out. It is sure to be excellent.

The other cultural event for which we did not receive enough advance notice was the «Gran Noche de Jazz» held at the CECATUR auditorium, featuring the «Klaus Mayer Proyect» quintet. I had the pleasure of hearing them perform at La Petite France the night of its «Vive la France» event. Those young men are truly superb… as was the six-course gala dinner, of course. Needless to say, the place was full to capacity and everyone had a great time.

Every year on June 5th, we celebrate World Environment Day. According to the UN’s Environment Programme official web site (www.unep.org), this is «one of the principal vehicles through which the United Nations stimulates worldwide awareness of the environment and enhances political attention and action … Our agenda is to empower people to become active agents of sustainable and equitable development; promote an understanding that communities are pivotal to changing attitudes towards environmental issues...»

Here in Vallarta, the city is purportedly being audited by the folks who will decide if it is a «clean city», i.e.: with sustainable environmental policies. Very commendable indeed, but what about our parks, and the bus situation downtown, the mountains that bleed from the huge open wounds where illegal clear cutting has occurred, and then there’s the still unresolved matter of the city dump. So what is it those folks are checking?

Every other day, there are more reports in the local dailies about the situation of the dump, one day it's yes, the next it's no... And the recycling project is another matter... How is it that other cities in Mexico have been able to implement excellent separating procedures for the residents to use, and we seem unable to do the same? In my humble opinion, all it would take would be strict enforcement, but we all know how strictly the various GOOD regulations are enforced in our little paradise, don't we? Like not driving while talking on a cell phone, like using seat belts, etc.

Three years ago, Coastal University Center biologist and researcher, Jorge Tellez Lopez, said «the conversion of parks into parking buildings could result in an increase of up to 3 degrees centigrade in the temperature downtown.» The expert went on to state that the City’s own Urban Planning Department records show that the temperature downtown had already risen by an average of 3 degrees, rising to 40oC at times, and he expressed his worry about it going up to 43oC (that’s 109.4oF!) by the summer of 2006. Okay, so he was a little off the mark. Here we are, it’s 2008 and it hasn’t reached 43o yet, thank heavens …and Gaïa!

And thank Gaïa …and all of you who have continued to send me emails informing me of their frog «hearings». I too have been hearing them again. You have no idea how happy it makes me.

Friends and I decided to go to La Palapa for brunch last Sunday. I hadn’t done that in ages. I had forgotten how delicious their freshly-baked rolls are, and how pleasant it is to be there, watching the people on the beach. When we add the restaurant’s excellent fare to that, as we look out onto the beach and the ocean beyond, it’s easy to understand why we like to call this place a paradise.

With regard to one of my favorite pet peeves, the employees working at the Mexico City offices of Telefonos de Mexico must have had their hands full last week, when the entire country’s system was overhauled to make way for that «universal number» concept. My colleague at the Tribune had to send me a fax, but my fax number wasn’t working. Instead, there was a recorded message telling callers that the number they had dialed was «out of order» and that they didn’t have to report it to 050. Huh? Who are they to decide that lack of service shouldn’t have to be reported? So I decided to do just that. However, there was no way of getting through; even the recording telling us that all the representatives were busy …was broken!

I guess all this new technology, iPhones and all the others yet to come, are great for the younger generation. Personally, I’m perfectly content with a cell phone that receives calls and with which I can make calls. The biggest progress I’ve made so far was to figure out how to text «OK» and «NO» in response to the text messages I receive from time to time. In the meantime, despite the fact that I purportedly have Prodigy internet service at 1024, upload speed still hovers around 260. I know, I know, they only guarantee «between 256 and 1024… it all depends on the traffic…»

And talking about technologies, I wonder if they’re going to show the new movie that’s coming to town, Journey to the Center of the Earth, in 3-D, as advertised up north. There are so many movies in town which I would love to see, but not enough time to do so before they leave. And besides, all my friends who tell me "I love movies. Any time you want to go, just call me!" do not like action movies like Hellboy or Batman, like I do. And so many of them are only being shown in Spanish because of their rating... I’m looking forward to visiting the new theaters at Galerias Vallarta, as well as the steak house they’ve got there. I understand it’s very good.

I want to thank those of you who have complimented me on my blog. (I have a feeling you only did that ‘cause it’s on line every week, unlike the Tribune…) Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Some of you have complaints, others have compliments.
On a totally different topic, please bear in mind that even if it’s overcast, you can still burn if you’re out on the beach or by the pool. I’ve seen a whole bunch of lobster-red tourists walking around town at the end of a cloudy day. Don’t skimp on the sun block, folks! Remember what that ad used to say: Don’t mess with Mother Nature! Be kind to her, and to each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

July 13, 2008

2008-07-12T18:18:00.002-05:00

A reader called Steve sent me an email that read: «…civilization is not doomed! For the past two nights we have heard frogs croaking all around us at home. Guess the rains have brought them out.»

Another gentleman by the name of Reuben Schneider also wrote to me, in reference to the statement I made in my last article (And the snails are back, too...and naked.) He wrote, «Later, you quote a professor who says: ‘...toads eat slugs...’ Look up slugs. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a frog on a potted plant in «el centro.» This morning I saw one in a garage in Fluvial. I haven’t yet seen or heard the little rain frogs, but they are probably still around.»
I thank you both, Steve and Mr. Schneider, for reading me, and for reassuring me that there are still little froggies around …and «civilization is not doomed!» As far as my mention of the «snails without their houses» goes, of course, it was for fun…

There are also others I would like to thank at this time. People like my dentist whose hands of gold I recommend to anyone who’s ever thought of having implants, or needs them. His name is Dr. Martin Guillen, and his office is located at 311 Basilio Badillo, tel.: 223-0505.

In case you’re wondering, wonder no more. This is indeed an unabashedly blatant promotion of services I’ve experienced within the last couple of weeks, and which I consider excellent.
The next recommendation is Luis. This young man is the hair stylist at Ali’s Beauty Salon & Spa. I finally decided to dye my hair, and have it «styled» - something I haven’t done in years. After reading that letter to the editor a couple of weeks ago –which, by the way, was written by a man!- I figured I would give them a try, for my hair. I walked away absolutely delighted, with my look and with the attention I received. Now I have to make an appointment with their amazing Reiki masseuse next.

I also had the pleasure of bumping into Toody at Ali’s Salon. In case you don’t know her, this is the lady who owns the Bohemio clothing stores, including the one at Plaza Neptuno. If you want something special, a one-of-a-kind item, beautifully hand painted and sewn, drop in to one of her shops.

The other establishment I would like to commend is the River Café. In addition to the excellence of its food and its service, I need to thank the staff publicly for finding my prescription glasses …and for keeping them until the customer (yours truly) called for them. Thank you so much!

And still on good food, that was quite a birthday party for our colleague, Heather Wilson, a.k.a. one of Vallarta’s many «cat ladies». Great food, fabulous atmosphere, everyone was there to celebrate – at Encuentros at 312 Lazaro Cardenas, in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town. It opens at six and happy hour (2 for 1) is from 8 to 10! Tel.: 222-0643.
Also, I tip my hat to Ulf and Bernhard, owners of Vitea, for maintaining their cool, and the superb level of quality –food & service- despite the onslaught of food and souvenir stands all around them… This is the result of our town’s authorities’ recent decision to «clear» the main section of the Malecon, and relocate the vendors (for the Nth time) to its extension. They’ve been promising those vendors a permanent relocation ever since the parking garages were built, and still, to date … nothing.

Sometimes, it seems as if it’s all déjà vu in this little paradise of ours, don’t you think? One of the recent headlines last week read, «Authorities Back Joint Promotion» (referring to Rivera Nayarit and Puerto Vallarta). Hallooo... is this a new concept or what? This is something that has been fought for –and against- ever since I can recall. There was even an agreement signed a few years ago, but it only survived for one year before the petty politicking killed it. So now, as if it were a brand new idea, they’re saying that Puerto Vallarta and its neighboring community of Bahía de Banderas on the north coast of the bay, in the state of Nayarit, across the bridge over the Ameca River, would benefit more if they joined forces… Back then, the national airlines (Mexicana and Aeromexico) went on record saying that the regional promotion should be for a single tourist destination... (Gee, what a novel idea!) At that time, the head of the Hotel Association had acknowledged that it was «necessary to think of joining forces to gain more, because in the eyes of the world, we look like two children fighting over the same toy.»

A couple of days later, PV’s municipal Director of Tourism reported that Mexicana would differentiate between Puerto Vallarta and Nuevo Vallarta on its flights. The name Vallarta would apply only for Jalisco (?) He added that it had been noted that visitors were upset when they realized that they had been sold on Nuevo Vallarta instead of Puerto Vallarta. He added that in such joint ventures, we should not omit «the right of the tourist to know exactly what each destination has to offer. That is where people are fooled by the way the publicity is handled.» No kidding! Travel agents in Europe, Canada and the U.S. have only one name for all the different communities along the coastline of the Bay of Banderas and it is ...you guessed it! Puerto Vallarta! That’s where the airport that serves the entire bay area is located, at least for now. So what happens? Folks who have been lured by the blurb in the brochures or on the web that tout the «typical Mexican town» with all its related attractions purchase their tickets, unaware that they may end up way out in Bucerías or Nuevo Vallarta.

Don’t get me wrong, the entire north coast in Nayarit is very beautiful, the hotels are lovely and the beaches are bigger and wider and whiter than ours, but it’s NOT Vallarta. Many agents don’t even know this part of the world and many others who do don’t want to lose the sale by giving out «insignificant details». (I had a young lady with a delightful toddler sitting next to me on the plane last year. She was told that her hotel, the Decameron, was 15 minutes from downtown Vallarta! Maybe if she took the rapid train through the tunnel under the bay…

Which reminds me of what happened a couple of years back when the municipal authorities went to Spain to promote Vallarta. They came back proudly waving a contract signed by one of the major wholesalers there. What they didn’t know was that although the plane did indeed land at our one and only international airport, the passengers were all whisked off to the Riu in Nayarit… Topic to be continued...

About foreign places, I wonder what Beijing is going to do if their experiment to reduce the level of pollution in their city fails. They’re going to close down all construction sites and prohibit all vehicular traffic for one day to see if they can bring the level down to World Health Organization standards. If they fail, as one British TV announcer stated, the endurance events will be cancelled and the Games will "choke". And you thought we had problems here, in our beloved PV?

I’m running out of space, dear readers. So go out there, enjoy yourselves, take care of each other and consider sharing some of your good fortune with the less fortunate.

I will leave you this week with another great quote from P. J. O'Rourke: "Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

July 6, 2008

2008-07-12T18:07:00.001-05:00

I really get a kick at this time of year with all the national celebrations... first the Canadians, then the Americans, and then the French. Every year, I wonder the same thing: how is it that so many countries celebrate their great day in the spring or summertime? Are there countries that celebrate their independence in the dead of winter? There must be, I just don’t know which ones they are. Every year, I pose the question, but no one has been kind enough to give me an answer. Perhaps I should just ask the Internet god, then I would only have to go through some 200 plus countries to find out…

As the Tribune goes to press on Thursday, and Independence Day falls on Friday this year, we won’t be able to give you a report of all the fun at the PV Beach Club, El Barracuda, or Steve’s until next week. If any of you have photos of any of the events, or even better, all of them - including the golf, just send them to our editor! And if you want to add your own comments, go for it!

Our sister publication, the Spanish-language Tribuna de la Bahía, has been running an ad recently, asking readers to send in whatever they have to report, which they consider of importance to others. Similar to when CNN started asking its viewers to send in their videos… Well, the response took a few days, and now the paper is publishing some of what has been coming in. Great stuff!

In case some of you thought that the foreign community was the only one to complain about the various «irregularities» occurring around town, let me tell you: It ain’t so!

Marco Martinez Moreno wrote in: «We all agree that what has been happening to Vallarta is a real pity: from the destruction of its charm with the new high-density developments to the overwhelming violence. How are we commoners responsible? In every way: they sold us a bag of goods and we bought it; we chose our leaders and did nothing, absolutely nothing to help the town that saw us grow up. Today, amidst a sea of laments about the insecurity that has overtaken the port, I ask myself, who will be able to help us? They quickly set up operations to combat the delinquency… But why close the barn door after the horse is gone? Does all this paraphernalia on the part of the authorities help in any way? It takes one hour to get from the airport to Nuevo Vallarta! And are we any safer? The patrols only intimidate, their results are null in comparison with the disaster they are causing among civilians…» And so on…

Congratulations, Señor Martinez! I just hope someone in City Hall reads you ‘cause what has been going on there has reached the point of ridicule, way beyond the definition of kafkaesque (characterized by surreal distortion). I don’t think that Franz Kafka would believe the stuff that makes the news in our little somehow-soiled paradise.

Let me give you an example: The head of inspectors at City Hall was «removed» from his job last Tuesday …but not from the municipal government. Accused of alleged corruption, he was moved to the department in charge of acquiring the ISO 9000 certification (!!!), within the Department of Urban Planning (also rife with accusations of corruption). The gentleman considers the move to be a promotion as he will now have even more responsibilities than before… As they say in español: incredible!

In the meantime, the youngsters who work so hard for the Health Department, in the heat of the day, going from house to house to make sure that the little glass in which you’re starting a new shoot -waiting for it to sprout roots- has some of that dengue mosquito-killing pellets in it, can’t do anything about the constantly expanding mosquito nurseries thriving in the swimming pools of abandoned properties…

The crickets are back in force, but even with the rain and thunderstorms we’ve had already, there hasn’t been much relief from the heat, other than knowing that 90oF here is better than 90oF in New York City any day! Nevertheless, the mountains are already green and clean and one day last week, we could even see from one end of the bay all the way to the other at Punta Mita. Beautiful. And the snails are back too. They’re very healthy this year, big and fat ...and naked. What do they do with the houses they usually carry around on their backs? Come to think of it, I never did get an answer from Prof. Cupul about that either… One worrisome aspect: I haven’t seen or heard a single frog this year.

Ten years ago, Professor Donella Meadows wrote: «Around 1990, herpetologists began noticing an alarming drop in frog and toad populations ... in just about every part of the world… Though they have thrived on earth for millions of years, frogs are especially vulnerable to environmental disruption… incredible environmental sensors. Their decline should be a canary-in-coal-mine sort of wake-up call.

Why are they declining? Habitat destruction is the most obvious cause. The U.S. has drained or filled half of its wetlands. Watery places that remain are likely to be polluted. Spraying for insects not only poisons frogs directly, it also wipes out their food supply… What does seem clear is that when we humans spray poisons and send waste out through pipes and bulldoze land around, we push into the homes and food supplies of other creatures… I could point out how scary that is, because what poisons other creatures can also poison us. I could point out how stupid that is, because those creatures are economically valuable. Frogs eat insects, toads eat slugs in my garden, amphibians feed fish and birds and mammals, they are the source of some remarkable chemicals, including painkillers and antibiotics. But what I mainly feel is how sad that is, the thought of not having these humble, damp, jumpy animals as companions in the world. Not having bullfrogs for my dog to scare up and send plopping into the pond. Not looking forward through the long New England winter to the sound of the peepers on the first warm night of spring.»

They say that when the frogs go, so goes mankind… Sure hope they’re wrong on that one! And please, if you hear frogs near your place, let me know. It’ll make me feel better.

Meanwhile, once again I have to make plans to leave this paradise for a few days, on a business matter that comes up regularly every year around this time. Once again, I did my plane ticket and price research on line. Being an optimistic (believe it or not…) I thought that I could get a cheaper ticket, considering I was reserving two months in advance – before fares go nuts! First, I found out the same as last year: tickets to Vancouver, B.C. were going for U.S.$ 450 ± while those to Montreal cost $700. Mind you, I’m not complaining, considering that it used to cost $1,000. or so. But still… For our readers who can’t visualize the map of North America in their mind, take my word for it when I tell you that the distance between PV and Vancouver is the same as PV to Montreal... The three cities form an equilateral triangle, except that it costs way less to get to B.C. Why is that? And why has there been no detectable movement in the matter of air fares anyways? All the Mexicana and Aeromexico flights coming down here are full and the hotels are three-quarters empty, if not worse. But then, we’ve all known about that phenomenon for a long time now. It happens every year at Christmas time too.

Until next time, I also wish you all a great week, and while you’re at it, why not treat yourself to something sinfully, deliciously French this weekend... on the occasion of Bastille Day? Viva Mexico! Vive La France! A la prochaine! pvmom04@yahoo.com

June 29, 2008

2008-06-29T19:03:00.003-05:00

“Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer
Those days of soda and pretzels and beer
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer
Dust off the sun and moon and sing a song of cheer.”
- Charles Tobias
-
Ah, yes. Nat King Cole sure taught us well… There is something most wondrous about having daylight at 9 o’clock in the evening. Sure, it’s not quite the White Nights of Saint Petersburg or Oslo, but still… Too bad it can’t last all summer long.

We finally got our first electrical thunderstorms, so beautiful. The very first one –on the first official day of summer- didn’t last that long, but the one three nights later was much more impressive. My puppy dog, the one we rescued at the beginning of the year, couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her up on the bed. Those were very loud thunder claps, and she was really scared. I guess she’ll just have to get used to them.

Did you notice the new lighting on the Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe? Well, it’s not really new, considering that they made the change at the end of May, but to whomever did it: Congratulations! It looks wonderful.

Not so with the Hooters sign next to Los Arcos amphitheater. When, oh when, will they paint it over? The place has been shut down for months. Let them live long and prosper in the Peninsula mall, but get rid of that horror in Puerto Vallarta’s main square!

And what on earth is going on with our airlines? I just found out that US Airways is going to charge $2 for soda, coffee, juice, and even water.

The article in question states “Presumably tap water, which may or may not be contaminated with fecal coliform bacteria, will still be free.

The move is the latest way airlines are attempting to fight rapidly rising fuel prices in a disastrous economic climate. In recent months, the extra fees have come fast and furious. First came extra charges for your second piece of luggage, then came a charge for your first bag. That's not to mention extra fees for choosing your own seat, curbside check-in, booking using frequent flier miles, and the cost of the Santa Fe chicken sandwich.

The beverage fee is even more annoying than most, since you can no longer bring liquids through security at airports. You are really at the mercy of buying them on the plane, or at least buying them once you're in the terminal (which is doubtlessly no cheaper than on the plane). Alcoholic drinks will also go from $5 to $7. That's a lot for a can of Budweiser.
The fee goes into effect August 18, leaving plenty of time for the airlines to come up with other fees to nickel and dime their way to profitability. Can pay toilets be far behind?”
That is very depressing stuff, folks.

And then, as if all that were not enough, they’re messing around with the frequent flyer point programs too, increasing the number of points you need to fly from point A to point B (and back) while reducing the amount of time we have to use them. Not that it affects me much… I’m still fighting to get that credit card from Santander, the one that would enable me to get frequent flyer points. It’s only been two and a half years, so I shouldn’t complain, right?
I’ve also given up on trying to understand why the Tribune’s web site cannot be maintained up to date for longer than two weeks at a time.

A friend sent me an email with a .wmv suffix (a video clip) which she said I would enjoy. I tried to open it, only to receive a message that read “Windows Media Player encountered an unknown error.” So I clicked on “Help”. That one came up with “Windows Media Player Error Message Help - You've encountered an error message while using Windows Media Player. Additional information is not currently available for this error.” Hmmm…

About emails, a few years ago, I remember when our good friend T.J. submitted the following to one of the local bulletin boards online: “Pete, one of the Saturday Bird Watching gang down on the pier, a U.S. Postal employee, said he didn't understand our complaints about the postal service. He asked if anyone remembered when you could put a two-cent stamp on a letter and mail it, and it would arrive at its destination in two days. He claimed, "Nothin's changed, now you put a thirty-seven-cent stamp on a letter and it can take four to five weeks to arrive. But it's still only about a penny a day!" It was true then, and it still applies today. The more some things change, the more they remain the same! Many years ago, they had a race up in Canada where they put a letter in a mailbox in Nova Scotia or somewhere near there, out east, and gave a copy of the same to a “pony express”, both addressed to someone in Vancouver, B.C. You guessed it: the pony express beat the Canadian Postal system.

Here in our little not-quite-perfect paradise, there’s only a dozen or so postmen, the same amount they had a decade ago, despite the fact that the population has tripled in that period of time. We who live here just tell everyone not to bother sending mail… It seldom reaches us anyways. Heaven only knows where it ends up.

I never cease to be amazed at the double standards –actually, I should say multiple standards- applied by the local authorities involved in construction sites around this town. Now it seems that they’ve been building a “temple” in the Versalles neighborhood, without permit. Although it was shut down by the Urban Planning Department, the developers simply took off the seals and just continued working… The residents, who are very much opposed to the concept, accused the Mayor and his henchmen of giving in to the “degree of influence and power” of the developers. (This was published in the Meridiano.) These are the same “henchmen” who have done everything in their power to delay the permit of my neighbor with the unpleasant lady next door who had his work site shut down a few weeks ago. Unlike the “power-full”, my neighbor is reluctant to simply rip off the seals. After all, he’s a gringo. So he’s just losing more and more of his hard-earned money with every day that goes by, as he has to keep on paying his workers.

Ah, yes, money! Did you hear that one of Claude Monet's paintings, "Le Bassin aux Nymphes", recently sold for 40.9 Million British Pounds (that’s $80.5 Million U.S. Dollars) at an auction in London? The previous record for a Monet sold at auction was $41.4 Million dollars for "Le Pont du chemin de fer a Argenteuil", established last month at a sale in New York. Sheesh! You could feed a small nation for heavens knows how long with that kind of money.

I have a good quote to leave you with this week: “Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.”

Take good care of yourselves and of each other, dear readers. I wish a most Happy Canada Day and Happy 4th of July to all our North American readers. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

June 22, 2008

2008-06-22T20:36:00.001-05:00

Did you happen to look around lately at the majestic mountains of the Sierra Madre Occidental that embrace our beautiful Bay of Banderas? I ask this as I chuckle at the fact that once again, all of us who live here and have gotten to ‘know’ them, have been proven right. Ten days following the first real rains of the season, they have metamorphosed into the lush, verdant beauties we’ve come to love so much.

Ten days, that’s all it takes for Mother Nature to drink in the blessed rains that revive her from six months of dormancy, that help her blossom, so exuberantly. Even though I’ve been lucky enough to see it happen fourteen times now, it never ceases to amaze me. I just stand there, looking at them, admiring them, in awe. And I pray that some intelligent beings will appear to enact the laws and regulations needed to preserve them, to avoid any further damage at the hands of thoughtless, greedy developers.

On the clear nights between storms, the fireworks of the Marigalante are even brighter than usual. A couple of friends of ours who had never taken the evening cruise on that superb replica of one of Christopher Columbus’ ships, did, finally, after years of talking about it. The next day, they couldn’t stop talking about it… the fun, the music, the filet mignon and the jumbo shrimp and the wines… And I should tell you, these are two really picky gentlemen! It was all I could do not to tell them, “I told you so!”

We need to enjoy, folks. There’s just too much bad news around, and we cannot let it get us down. We need to do all we can to keep ourselves and our loved ones happy – and healthy.
Talking about which, according to an article that appeared last week in the Vallarta Opina, one of Puerto Vallarta’s top two dailies, the State’s public Health authorities have “strengthened” the measures they’re taking to combat the infamous dengue-carrying mosquito, with the “active participation” of volunteers and the local authorities – in order to involve the community in general. Words are all well and good, but they still haven’t managed to force the owners of a quasi-abandoned condominium project near my place, whose pool has been filled with stagnant water for over a year now, to drain that source of infestation. And this despite repeated requests. I wonder what one has to do to in order to get some sort of “active” response from all these eloquent authorities.

Still on health-related matters, did you catch that bit on the news last week, about the benefits of coffee? Well, it seems that the study, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, shows that coffee lowers heart risk and overall death rate. “Drinking up to six cups of coffee a day may lower the overall odds of dying prematurely, mainly because it cuts the risk of dying from heart disease.” But the study found that heavy coffee drinking doesn't cut your chance of dying from cancer.

The study examines the relationship between coffee and mortality. It is based on the coffee drinking habits of 41,736 men and 86,216 women with no history of cardiovascular disease (CVD) or cancer. The men were followed for 18 years, the women for 24 years.
The results show that as coffee consumption increases, the overall risk of death decreases. The association is explained mostly by a decrease in CVD deaths. Women who drank two to three cups of coffee a day, for instance, had a 25% lower risk of dying from heart disease than non-drinkers. Hmmm… good to know for anyone who loves coffee as much as I do.

If I could have one good double espresso every day, I would be a very happy camper indeed. On the other hand, it’s my fault if I don’t. I’m just too lazy to go through the hassle to use my espresso machine… Did you ever notice how absolutely delightful the youngsters working at the Starbucks locations are? All of them, so friendly, so polite, so nice and helpful. I tip my hat to the people who hired them.

I enjoy one particular blend of their coffee, but they were all out of it when I went in to the downtown location to buy some one night. One of the young ladies took it upon herself to call the Peninsula branch. They had some. She offered to pick up a couple of bags for me on her way to work the next day. Now I think that was super nice on her part, don’t you agree? She didn’t have to do that. We’ve been friends ever since.

I just don’t get the whole hoopla with that Kopi Luwak coffee from Indonesia, the one featured in “The Bucket List”, made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet. I’ve seen it at Starbucks, but I never checked to see how much it cost. Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, selling for between $120 and $600 USD per pound, mainly in Japan and the U.S. According to The Gospel According to Starbucks, only 1,000 pounds (450 kg) at most make it into the world market each year. It sells for $50.00 a cup… I think I’ll pass.

We all went out to celebrate Father’s Day at Café des Artistes ‘cause that is where this particular daddy wanted to go. Good choice! Though it’s not the kind of place we mere mortals frequent on a regular basis, it is very nice indeed to be waited upon in the manner of royalty. And the food… well, we all know about the food at this internationally-renowned dining establishment. Few are willing to treat their clientele to Valrhona grand chocolat and Illy espresso… Yet one more way to pamper ourselves, to enjoy life. At the risk of being a tad too repetitive: we need to do that, live as if today were our last. Just look around. We don’t even know what awaits us around the corner, never mind down the road.

About faraway places, the folks at the Tourism Promotion department have been in the news again. Seems that Boss Francisco Salas has been making an extra effort since last year to promote our town in Europe and South America. The latter I can understand. After all, they all speak Spanish except for the Brazilians, but Europe? Without any promotional material in French, Italian, or German? Oh, well.

My heart goes out to the folks along the mighty Mississippi River. They're not responsible for causing Mother Nature's wrath. Why doesn't she go after the culprits? Now there's a thought... Wouldn't that be great, if she only targeted those responsible for doing all that damage to her... Let’s just hope the rains don’t do too much damage around our little corner of the world.The Summer Solstice for 2008 has come and gone. Although our days will be getting shorter from now until December, our sunsets promise to be spectacular. So have fun, keep healthy and happy, and do take care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

June 15, 2008

2008-06-16T11:15:00.003-05:00

I believe that there’s a lot of truth in that saying, «Be careful what you wish for…», especially since I’ve been wishing for rain for the last few weeks. I just didn’t want it to rain for days on end. I guess I should have expressed my wish a little more clearly…

Like the rest of us who live here year ‘round, I was expecting the rains to start in the late afternoon, or during the night, with beautiful hot sunny days in between. Oh well, I’ll remember to be more careful next time (as if my wishes had any influence whatsoever on the climate around here…)

Remember that «mega canal» they were building -at an exorbitant cost- to catch the rainwater so it wouldn’t flood various areas of town, including Francisco Villa Avenue? The one that was going to solve all those problems once and for all? Well, it doesn’t work. The avenue was totally flooded, just as it has been for the last couple of decades, every time there’s a good rainfall.

At least everything is nice and clean all around, for the first time since last October. I’m not complaining. I just feel bad for those tourists who came here on holidays, expecting a week of fun in the sun.

There was a bit of good news among the endless bad ones. According to the Associated Press, «Internet providers Verizon, Sprint and Time Warner Cable have agreed to block access to child pornography and eliminate the material from their servers, New York’s attorney general said Tuesday. The companies also will pay $1.1 million to help fund efforts to remove the online child porn created and disseminated by users through their services, Attorney General Andrew Cuomo said. The changes will affect customers nationwide (in the U.S.)» I hope other countries follow suit.

On the local scene, a number of reports made me chuckle, sarcastically I admit. One headline read «Mexico to strengthen focus on Chinese market». The article goes on to say that Mexico hasn’t been able to benefit from this huge sector despite the fact that China has opened commercial and tourism exchanges with this country… At the inauguration ceremony for Aeromexico’s new Mexico City – Tijuana – Shanghai flight, the Mexican Ambassador to China stated that the Chinese spend more than Americans when they go on holidays, so the acquisition of visas for them has been facilitated. He added that the forecast is for a 200% to 300% increase in tourism from the third largest country in the world. A few dozen multiplied by 200 or 300% still doesn’t amount to much though.

And then there’s the matter of our (in)famous convention center. The call for tenders for operating the long awaited but highly controversial site is still pending, despite the fact that Sr. Luis Guillermo Martínez Mora, the State of Jalisco’s Secretary for Economic Promotion, had promised it by the end of May, 2008. Now they’re talking about August. In the meantime, the Governor stated that construction will definitely be finished by the end of October.

For their part, the various tourism sectors, local, state and national, warned that years are needed to promote a site such as this convention center, and not weeks or months like the authorities believe. They foresee a very slow start for its use.

In the meantime, the federal Department of Tourism is signing an agreement with an American company, 15 expert consultants in the realm of conventions, congresses and incentive tours. I guess time will tell.
JOY! tells us that «Mami’s Cucina Asiatica is doing a roaring trade for good reason.

The food is awesome and the most expensive thing on the menu is 60 pesos, most meals range between 30 and 50 pesos! I’ve just finished the best chicken teriyaki I’ve ever eaten! I’m so impressed with this sweet little restaurant in Plaza Romy that I’m using its free wireless to tell y’all about it. The place is owned by the lovely Lisa who is catering to the locals with everything from secret recipe shrimp tacos with homemade salsas to all kinds of Asian appetizers - AND she delivers to the Old Town area… Check it out, summer hours are 9 to 5.» Worth a try, don’t you think?

What else did I learn this week, that’s worth sharing? Well, I learned that idling burns about a half-mile worth of gas every minute, according to the California Energy Commission. That’s why hybrid cars shut down their gasoline engines whenever they stop, even for a moment. And that if you drive a more-or-less recent model car, with fuel injection, it is worth it to turn off your motor if you see that you’ll be stuck for a while in a traffic jam, or waiting for someone. With these vehicles, it is wrong to think that turning the motor on uses more fuel than if you let it idle. OK, that’s my bit about mechanics for now.

As far as «events» go, I’m glad that it’s a little calmer now. I only speak for myself of course. I’m fully aware that it’s not a good thing for local businesses, but hey, in all the years I’ve lived here, I’ve noted that the arrival of the «low season» always seems to come as a surprise to our Department of Tourism. Every year, they claim to be working hard to avoid its recurrence, but no one has seen any improvement to date. Who knows? Perhaps once all those 7,600+ condos are finished, bought and populated, things will get better. I sure hope so for the sake of all Vallartans who have invested their life’s earnings into a business here.

I was speaking to an old, dear friend of mine about that very topic, and others, recently. He asked me, «So if things get worse, the economy, the traffic, the violence, would you move away?» Of course not. Think about it. Where else could I see an Aztec dancer dressed in full regalia, walking along the Malecon, talking on his cell phone? Where else could I find myself stopped in traffic, waiting for the light to turn green, next to a pick-up truck filled with huge piñatas hanging in the back? Where else could I enjoy fireworks every night, shot off the replica of a 16th century pirate ship? And all our amazing restaurants… And finally, where else but in Puerto Vallarta could I find the people of Puerto Vallarta? Nope. I’m not leaving.

Before I forget, a big thank you to all my readers who sent me such nice comments about my blog, a.k.a. this column, especially while the Tribune was off line.

By the way, check out your favorite eating establishments, folks. Lots of them have special fixed-price summer menus, very reasonable, very delicious. Trio has reopened, so I think it’s time for me to pay them a visit. Maybe that’s where we’ll go to celebrate Father’s Day. I also have to check to see when the next annual «Duck Festival» is scheduled for…

I wish all the daddies out there a wonderful Father’s Day, and if you’re reading this after the fact, I hope it was wonderful. I leave you with a thought I received this week: "That wrong turn may have made you three minutes late, but it could also be the reason you weren’t involved in the accident that never happened. Think forest, not trees." Hasta luego.
pvmom04@yahoo.com

June 8, 2008

2008-06-16T11:10:00.002-05:00

I believe that there’s a lot of truth in that saying, «Be careful what you wish for…», especially since I’ve been wishing for rain for the last few weeks. I just didn’t want it to rain for days on end. I guess I should have expressed my wish a little more clearly…

Like the rest of us who live here year ‘round, I was expecting the rains to start in the late afternoon, or during the night, with beautiful hot sunny days in between. Oh well, I’ll remember to be more careful next time (as if my wishes had any influence whatsoever on the climate around here…)

Remember that «mega canal» they were building -at an exorbitant cost- to catch the rainwater so it wouldn’t flood various areas of town, including Francisco Villa Avenue? The one that was going to solve all those problems once and for all? Well, it doesn’t work. The avenue was totally flooded, just as it has been for the last couple of decades, every time there’s a good rainfall.

At least everything is nice and clean all around, for the first time since last October. I’m not complaining. I just feel bad for those tourists who came here on holidays, expecting a week of fun in the sun.

There was a bit of good news among the endless bad ones. According to the Associated Press, «Internet providers Verizon, Sprint and Time Warner Cable have agreed to block access to child pornography and eliminate the material from their servers, New York’s attorney general said Tuesday. The companies also will pay $1.1 million to help fund efforts to remove the online child porn created and disseminated by users through their services, Attorney General Andrew Cuomo said. The changes will affect customers nationwide (in the U.S.)» I hope other countries follow suit.

On the local scene, a number of reports made me chuckle, sarcastically I admit. One headline read «Mexico to strengthen focus on Chinese market». The article goes on to say that Mexico hasn’t been able to benefit from this huge sector despite the fact that China has opened commercial and tourism exchanges with this country… At the inauguration ceremony for Aeromexico’s new Mexico City – Tijuana – Shanghai flight, the Mexican Ambassador to China stated that the Chinese spend more than Americans when they go on holidays, so the acquisition of visas for them has been facilitated. He added that the forecast is for a 200% to 300% increase in tourism from the third largest country in the world. A few dozen multiplied by 200 or 300% still doesn’t amount to much though.

And then there’s the matter of our (in)famous convention center. The call for tenders for operating the long awaited but highly controversial site is still pending, despite the fact that Sr. Luis Guillermo Martínez Mora, the State of Jalisco’s Secretary for Economic Promotion, had promised it by the end of May, 2008. Now they’re talking about August. In the meantime, the Governor stated that construction will definitely be finished by the end of October.

For their part, the various tourism sectors, local, state and national, warned that years are needed to promote a site such as this convention center, and not weeks or months like the authorities believe. They foresee a very slow start for its use.

In the meantime, the federal Department of Tourism is signing an agreement with an American company, 15 expert consultants in the realm of conventions, congresses and incentive tours. I guess time will tell.

JOY! tells us that «Mami’s Cucina Asiatica is doing a roaring trade for good reason.

The food is awesome and the most expensive thing on the menu is 60 pesos, most meals range between 30 and 50 pesos! I’ve just finished the best chicken teriyaki I’ve ever eaten! I’m so impressed with this sweet little restaurant in Plaza Romy that I’m using its free wireless to tell y’all about it. The place is owned by the lovely Lisa who is catering to the locals with everything from secret recipe shrimp tacos with homemade salsas to all kinds of Asian appetizers - AND she delivers to the Old Town area… Check it out, summer hours are 9 to 5.» Worth a try, don’t you think?

What else did I learn this week, that’s worth sharing? Well, I learned that idling burns about a half-mile worth of gas every minute, according to the California Energy Commission. That’s why hybrid cars shut down their gasoline engines whenever they stop, even for a moment. And that if you drive a more-or-less recent model car, with fuel injection, it is worth it to turn off your motor if you see that you’ll be stuck for a while in a traffic jam, or waiting for someone. With these vehicles, it is wrong to think that turning the motor on uses more fuel than if you let it idle. OK, that’s my bit about mechanics for now.

As far as «events» go, I’m glad that it’s a little calmer now. I only speak for myself of course. I’m fully aware that it’s not a good thing for local businesses, but hey, in all the years I’ve lived here, I’ve noted that the arrival of the «low season» always seems to come as a surprise to our Department of Tourism. Every year, they claim to be working hard to avoid its recurrence, but no one has seen any improvement to date. Who knows? Perhaps once all those 7,600+ condos are finished, bought and populated, things will get better. I sure hope so for the sake of all Vallartans who have invested their life’s earnings into a business here.

I was speaking to an old, dear friend of mine about that very topic, and others, recently. He asked me, «So if things get worse, the economy, the traffic, the violence, would you move away?» Of course not. Think about it. Where else could I see an Aztec dancer dressed in full regalia, walking along the Malecon, talking on his cell phone? Where else could I find myself stopped in traffic, waiting for the light to turn green, next to a pick-up truck filled with huge piñatas hanging in the back? Where else could I enjoy fireworks every night, shot off the replica of a 16th century pirate ship? And all our amazing restaurants… And finally, where else but in Puerto Vallarta could I find the people of Puerto Vallarta? Nope. I’m not leaving.

Before I forget, a big thank you to all my readers who sent me such nice comments about my blog, a.k.a. this column, especially while the Tribune was off line.

By the way, check out your favorite eating establishments, folks. Lots of them have special fixed-price summer menus, very reasonable, very delicious. Trio has reopened, so I think it’s time for me to pay them a visit. Maybe that’s where we’ll go to celebrate Father’s Day. I also have to check to see when the next annual «Duck Festival» is scheduled for…

I wish all the daddies out there a wonderful Father’s Day, and if you’re reading this after the fact, I hope it was wonderful. I leave you with a thought I received this week: "That wrong turn may have made you three minutes late, but it could also be the reason you weren’t involved in the accident that never happened. Think forest, not trees." Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

May 31st, 2008

2008-06-04T12:16:00.002-05:00

There certainly was no shortage of local news this past week. I don’t know which was more important, the explosion in El Pitillal or the “settling of accounts” in two of the outlying colonias. I know nothing about the latter other than the articles that appeared in the local papers, but I sure know all about the explosion. As I had to attend a meeting at the offices of the Tribune – way past El Pitillal, out in Lomas del Coapinole, where civilization meets the Sierra Madre Mountains - I was one of the thousands of people stuck for what seemed forever in bumper to bumper traffic.

As I reached the main square there, I realized why the congestion, and like everyone else, could not believe the destruction I witnessed. It looked as if the place had been hit by an earthquake way above the usual 5 point something this town is used to. A picture is worth a thousand words, so I’ll get off the subject. I just feel so bad for the gentleman who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time – and lost his life. My condolences to his family and friends.

On a positive note: it has been reported that the PV Fire Department will receive two ambulances of its own. Now, that would be a most welcome improvement. It has also been reported that a mega rainwater canal is being built to supposedly avoid the annual floods that occur as soon as we get a big rainstorm, especially in places like the infamous Francisco Villa Boulevard. The project is said to cost some $45 Million Pesos. The huge headline read “Adios to floods!” Forgive me for my skepticism … I’ll keep that front page –just in case- until I see the result with my own eyes.

On the south side of town where I live, it’s the opposite. All too quiet. As my friends and I continued our eating tour of the establishments participating in our annual “Restaurant Week(s)”, we wondered at the surprisingly small number of people we saw at some of the places we visited. They weren’t kidding when they were telling us how unusually slow the month of May has been. And yet, others were full to capacity all the time, i.e.: Archie’s Wok, Trio, Vitea, Teatro Limon, and of course, Café des Artistes! (The latter definitely deserves a double WOW!) We are truly blessed in this little town of ours. The quality of the restaurants we have is equal to any gastronomically-renowned cosmopolitan city that may come to mind.

On a very personal note, I was quite disappointed with Paco Renteria’s concert. Like most if not all the hundreds of folks gathered at Los Arcos Amphitheater, I was there to see HIM, to hear HIM play. Instead, he let the members of his group play solo while he only performed a couple of numbers where his talent could be appreciated and admired. On the other hand, after the all-too-short performance, he told me that they had put on a couple of concerts the previous days at some event for ambassadors out in Nayarit, and that they did so well that they were invited to come back very soon. I’m looking forward to a “real” concert, a two-hour deal, next time around. What talent this artist has! The good thing was that the rains held off until the end of Paco’s turn. Not much of a first rain it was, but still, better than nothing.

I read that the weekly flights from England have started up again. I remember some eight nine years ago, when there were regular flights from England, Spain, Germany and the Netherlands. And then little by little, they all but stopped, thanks to the indifference of our local Tourism Office. The airport authorities did a survey and published some statistics this past week too. Things haven’t changed much over the last few years. Americans still make up the majority, at some 58%, followed by Mexicans at around 29% (which includes a small percentage of Europeans transferring in Mexico City) and Canadians at 12%. Do the math. Doesn’t represent many from the rest of the world, does it? Anyways, I’m glad for the flights from London and Manchester. Welcome to all Brits!

And on matters of import and importations, I understand that more and more internationally-renowned shops are opening up at Galerias Vallarta, and that there will be seven additional movie screens opening up there too, around the end of the year. Among the names being bandied about: Restaurante Sirloin Stockade, Paul & Shark, The Linen Club, Pepe Jeans London, etc.

I received a lovely invitation to attend the unveiling of a new statue on the extension of the Malecon. It is of San Pascual Baylon, the patron of cooks and chefs around the world. Even though the ceremony will be followed by a dinner for the press, catered by none other than Vitea (in front of which the statue will be placed), Trio, Los Xitomates and Café des Artistes, I doubt that I will be able to attend as it conflicts with the last night of “Restaurant Week(s)”. So I figured you might be interested in a bit of trivia about this Saint. Here goes:

San Pascual Bayon was born on the 16th of May, 1540, in the town of Torrehermosa, a tiny village in the province of Zaragoza, Spain.

As an adult, he was a shepherd who became a Franciscan lay brother. He served his fellow Franciscans in various capacities and monasteries as shepherd, gardener, porter, and cook. Since childhood he had developed a deep sense of the presence of God and was particularly devoted to the Eucharist. San Pascual was known for his administrations to the poor and for his many miraculous cures.

Today, San Pascual is chiefly known as a patron of the kitchen in token of his work as a cook. In religious art, he is shown dressed in the brown robes of a Franciscan, kneeling in a kitchen while in rapt contemplation of the Eucharistic host suspended mid-air in a monstrance.
In New Mexico his image has become a ubiquitous element of “Santa Fe-inspired” décor. San Pascual is patron of shepherds, cooks, and Eucharistic Congresses and associations. His feast day is May 17.

As I write this, I still have plans to go to the River Café, Barrio Sur and Daiquiri Dick’s, in addition to the National Fireworks Competition, and making time to see Ironman, Indiana Jones and the Chronicles of Narnia somewhere in between. And there are so many other long-awaited movies coming up this summer… I just wish they hadn’t closed down the Cine Bahia theater. It was so conveniently located for us “southern” dwellers. Oh my… so much to do, so much to see, and so little time… Getting back to the topic of food –before I forget- more good news: the State of Jalisco is passing new regulations to ban the sale of sodas and chips in the public schools. Great news! Nothing sadder than to see a little one who’s way overweight due to inactivity and an overload of tortillas…
Well, that’s enough for now. I wish you all a lovely week (hoping for some real evening electrical thunderstorms) and maybe you can start thinking about what you’re going to get Dad for his big day. It’s coming up real fast! Boy, how time flies when you’re having fun… Hasta luego.

May 24, 2008

2008-06-04T12:08:00.002-05:00

We often read about purse grabbers and muggers (unfortunately), but thank goodness, the large majority of us is never witness to nor involved in such events. Last week turned out to be different for me. Not only did I actually witness such an event, but it turned out to be one that warranted full-page coverage in various local dailies. I must admit that I was too stunned to “enjoy” all the excitement at the time.

It all started when I had to go to Plaza Caracol in an Nth attempt to cash a check at Bancomer. I drove into the parking lot, took a ticket, parked the car and walked over to the bank. No luck – again. The line of people waiting to be attended to wound its way around the cordons, filled the bank, and spilled over to the sidewalk outside. No way. I don’t have time for that. So I walked back to the car and drove towards the exit. When I reached the booth, I handed my ticket along with a 10-peso coin to the young lady inside …and that’s when everything stopped.

People were running, screaming, past me. The robbers separated as they exited the lot; one went straight while the other turned towards the highway. The one who ran straight looked back, realized how many people were running after him, and threw the backpack he had stolen off someone onto the ground. The other one disappeared.

All the while, the young lady was petrified, still holding my ticket in her hand, her mouth gaping open. Once the first robber had been apprehended about a block up, she started breathing again. And then she turned to a companion who was in the booth with her, to express her emotions, her excitement, her fear, at what she had just witnessed. After a while, she remembered that she still had my ticket in her hand, gave me two pesos change, and I drove out.

The next day, the papers reported the incident. Turns out that there was around $ 20,000. US Dollars in pesos in the backpack those boys had stolen off a certain Luis Alberto Ayón, who had just left the bank.

Not only had they robbed the money, but they had also forced poor Señor Ayón to remove his shoes and his pants – at gunpoint - prior to taking his backpack! That explained why there was a semi-nude man running among the security guards and the other folks… This is one time we can say that “all’s well that ends well”.

While still on the topic of criminals… There was another fatal incident involving a Canadian tourist, this time in the resort town of Cabo San Lucas in Baja California. I guess that will clinch it as far as Canadian tourism to Mexico goes. After all, there was a tragedy in Cancun two years ago, then another in Acapulco a year ago, then one in Puerto Vallarta this past winter, and now the one in Cabo San Lucas. Now the Canadian authorities can scare their citizens from visiting Mexico, simply stating that such acts of violence (four to be exact) are commonplace because, after all, they happen from one end of the country to the other…
On to “lighter” matters, can anyone out there tell me what the story is with the lights they installed on the extension of the Malecon, on the south side? Those things have the intensity of searchlights, the kind they use to look for survivors in the black of night out on the open sea. At first, it was so dark there once the sun had set that residents complained for years to the authorities. The posts were there, but without lights. Now they’ve gone to the other extreme. If you haven’t done so recently, take a walk down there one night. You will be “blinded by the light” … literally.

I also received another interesting tidbit from one of our readers. It appears that taking photographs anywhere near or in the Costco store is VERBOTEN! (That’s “prohibited” for those of you who are not familiar with the German word.) No kidding. This young man had gone out to take pictures of trees around town. Walking along the Fluvial boulevard-promenade, he got to Costco, where he wanted to take a photo of the tree in the parking lot. Oh, no! A security guard promptly approached him to inform him that this was not allowed. He seriously thought the guard would confiscate his camera, or at least make him erase the photo …but he didn’t. So here’s the “illegally-taken” photo of the tree, for all to admire. If anyone can find some secret code in it, please do let us know. We’ll send in the Mexican equivalent of the CIA, FBI, CSIS, or whatever, to investigate.

In case you’re interested, so far my friends and I have visited Barcelona Tapas, Tikul, Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt, and La Palapa to enjoy the “Restaurant Week(s)” offerings. All excellent, without exception. Still on the list: Boca Bento, Alfredo di Roma, Daiquiri Dick’s, the River Café and of course, Café des Artistes. By the time it’s all over, I’ll be surprised if we haven’t all gained a few pounds here and there.

(I would like to extend my very best, sincere wishes to Mike and Debbi Egan of Banana Cantina. Mike is very ill, and they’ve had to close the restaurant until further notice.)
For the time being, I’m just looking forward to the Paco Rentería concert. We’ll have to miss this year’s edition of the Altruism Festival that falls at the same time, but with all the amazing food around town, it was an easy choice to make. By the time you read this, it will be all over but the memories. I’m also looking forward to the fireworks this Friday. That’s going to be some show! I understand they’re going to build a castillo some 12 meters high. That’s around 36 feet, the highest ever built in Puerto Vallarta!

That’s all for now, folks. If you’d like a yummy, furry four-legged companion, please don’t forget the adoption days at the animal shelter on Thursdays and at Los Mangos Library on Saturdays!

I wish you all a wonderful week. Have lots of fun, take in as many events as you can, and don’t forget your sun block! Hasta luego.

pvmom04@yahoo.com
I’m sorry I have no power to put the Tribune back online, but if you want to read my blather, it is online, at www.shesaid-7.blogspot.com

May 16, 2008

2008-05-17T22:15:00.004-05:00

It would be difficult to say what the highlight of last week was for me. It was not –as you would expect- one restaurant or another, though there were a number of those, what with a double celebration of Mother’s Day. But I can say that one of the highlights was definitely the phone call from my friend, Paco Renteria, yes, the famous virtuoso «nouveau flamenco» guitarist. He and I developed a mother-son type of friendship many years ago, when I first started attending his concerts, before he became «rich and famous». His birthday happens to be the same as one of my sons, so it wasn’t hard for us to understand each other – and become truly good friends. To quote him, he once told me I was his «Vallarta mama», which was just fine with me.

Well, as you may have noted in the May Festival calendar, or if you read the little article we inserted in Joe’s page, you know that he will be appearing this Sunday at Los Arcos. I for one can’t wait. We’ve truly missed him around here. Paco used to come to PV at least twice a year, if not more. But that was then, and this is now. Now, he’s the proud daddy of two children - as are many of his band - and he’s famous. He’s also sporting a new look which I personally find very complimentary to his style and his persona. If you want to get an idea of his type of music, I suggest you log on to his blog at http://pacorenteriagitano.blogspot.com There are a number of different videos there in which you’ll hear some of the different types of numbers he performs and then, if you find you like it, you can go see him live on Saturday, and experience the thrill of a Paco Renteria concert – live!

Obviously, this was much better news than what has been filling the printed press and the airwaves over the past week… floods and earthquakes, an incredibly stupid junta government whose leaders care more for their personal welfare than for millions of their countrymen, millions of Chinese working tirelessly to rescue as many of theirs as is humanly possible, and now the Hizballah declaring that it will never recognize Israel’s existence, during President Bush’s visit to that beleaguered area. And to add to it all, the polar bears have now –finally and inevitably- declared in danger of extinction. What else is new?

What I do know is that, compared to all that, including the increase in the price of gas and airline fares, we do live in paradise. There’s no doubt about it. So what if the local headlines are deriding the Mayor for defending an allegedly «bad» police chief? So what if the Urban Planning Department is composed of half good and half bad staff, the former trying to somehow assuage the errors committed by the former administration, while the latter continues in its corrupt path? So what if so many restaurants have closed their doors in recent days? It’s still paradise, though the law of the jungle, the survival of the fittest, reigns here as it does everywhere.

«Restaurant Week(s)» will be well underway by the time you read this. As if I didn’t get my fill at Archie’s Wok and Xochitl for my two Mother’s Day celebrations, I now have a full calendar of establishments to visit with my friend Gary, the author of the now famous «Beck’s Best - Restaurant Guide to Puerto Vallarta», and sometime reviewer for this publication. And that’s without taking into account the events scheduled at Los Arcos for the annual Festival de Mayo, or the Altruism Festival. So many things to do, to see, to enjoy, and oh so little time! This should only be my greatest problem…

Good news: a common friend of Brenda Martin and me (one of the many who donated thousands of dollars to corrupt lawyers two years ago, lawyers who just took the money and disappeared instead of using it to try to free her, as promised) spoke to her this week, by phone. He told me she sounds like a totally different woman. I can believe that. Every time she called me collect from that godforsaken jail, she always ended up crying. She’s free now. Thank heavens.
At the risk of sounding truly motley, I think we should all thank heavens for the beauty that surrounds us, for our good health, our family and our friends.

Take care of yourselves, dear readers, and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

May 9, 2008

2008-05-17T22:08:00.003-05:00

If you missed the incredible performance by French mime fantastic, Jerome Murat, you can get an idea of what you missed by seeing it on YouTube.com. And by the way, if you want to know exactly what’s going on within the framework of the Festival de Mayo, check out the schedule on the calendar page. We couldn’t inform you last week ‘cause the Tribune only received it after it had gone to press.

Getting back to on international matters, I was reading about the devastation in Myanmar, with over 22,000 dead and some 40,000 missing due to the hurricane that hit that isolationist country, and the other tens of thousands needing water and shelter. Their «junta» government hesitated for days before finally allowing any foreign aid (i.e. foreigners) to enter the country. It reminds me of when Thailand would not allow the Israelis to get off the planes with which they had brought all sorts of medicine and stuff to help those people following the tsunami that devastated their country. What is wrong with those people? Why let politics get in the way of humanitarian help in times of desperate need? I just don’t understand.

Still on foreign countries, if you want to «understand» China a little better, I highly recommend that you pick up a copy of the May issue of National Geographic. In honor of the upcoming Olympics, they’ve devoted the entire issue to this «giant» whose economy and subsequent power will probably soon take over the entire world.

The last time I was in that great country was exactly 19 years ago, just prior to the Tiananmen massacre. I felt it was the best time in their history, so much hope, so much positivity, and then it was all smitten, stopped dead in its tracks. And yet, even then, I got a glimpse of the power that lay dormant beneath all its beautiful mountains, deserts, and rice fields. It has come to pass. Check out that magazine. The statistics you’ll find in it will surely blow you away.

My colleague Keith May (who tells us all about the humpback whales during the winter) recently told us about a «new little jewel of a restaurant» that he and his friends had discovered, so I figured it was time to try it out. It’s a tiny place (seats a maximum of 10) called La Lorraine, located downtown at 140 Josefa Ortiz de Dominguez, between the Malecon & Morelos (tel.: 222-9574). Keith said, «…the service and quality of the food are huge! I can definitely say that this was as good as any meal that I’ve had in ANY restaurant in Vallarta and better than most of the expensive places that we’ve dined in.»

Like Keith, I highly recommend that you visit La Lorraine, but I would also definitely recommend that you reserve ahead of time! The prices are very reasonable with most appetizers in the $7 range and entrées between $10 - $19. I ordered the steak au poivre and my girlfriend had the lamb special. Both were excellent. They’re also open for lunch, but hurry up as Laurent will be closing for the summer season at the end of the month.
Still on the topic of restaurants, I was kindly invited by an old, old friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in months, to dine at Trio. What a delight that place is – always. You can never go wrong there.

And what’s the story with the Hooters place next to Los Arcos Amphitheater? If they’re closed for good (which I think is the case), then why doesn’t someone at City Hall have them paint over their huge ugly sign that appears in all the photos that tourists take of the Arches? Maybe we should ask Stan’s «graffiti eradication» team to go to it… As far as I’m concerned, I have always felt that that sign was not only an eyesore, but shameful for a tourist town such as ours. With the new signage regulations in effect for the last four years or so, it would never have been permitted.

Enough crabbing. I’m going to get ready for a lovely Mother’s Day weekend with my family. I just wish they were all here, but, as Mick Jagger would say, we «can’t always get what we waa-aant…»

On Thursday, May 1st, my friend Brenda Martin finally did get what she has wanted for so long, two years and three months to be exact: Thanks to the efforts of her childhood friend Debra Tieleman, who spearheaded the campaign to get her case more public attention, and to the Mexican ambassador to Canada, Emilio Goicoechea Luna, who risked his position to take up her cause, she was whisked out of that squalid, godforsaken prison in Guadalajara, and transferred to the Grand Valley Institution for Women in Kitchener, Ontario, in what has been described as «the fastest prisoner transfer in Canadian history». Finally. I guess the highest echelons of both governments had enough of all the media hype –and ensuing shame- that her situation had caused them lately. We should all have friends like Debra.

Until next time, I wish you a lovely week. Take care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

May 2, 2008

2008-05-01T13:00:00.003-05:00

I would like to start off this week by congratulating James Hunter, the editor of Bay Vallarta, for his editorial in the April 18-May 2 issue of that great guide. If you haven’t read it, try to find a copy somewhere. It is well worth it.

In his writing, Mr. Hunter expressed his honest opinion about the behavior of our city’s taxis and buses (of their drivers, to be exact) and their influence on the driving habits of the rest of the population. Mr. Hunter, I take my hat off to you. Unfortunately, I doubt that any of the powers-that-be read the Bay Vallarta, and even if they did -considering that it IS bilingual- I don’t know if they could do anything about it.

From what I’ve been reading in the papers since arriving in Puerto Vallarta, the unions are so strong that none of the subsequent municipal administrations have been able to change their modus operandi over the last decade or so…

I haven’t written much about our (in)famous telephone company lately, Telefonos de Mexico, a.k.a. TelMex. Well, last week, I had a very interesting experience with them… a first to be honest.

It turned out that on Saturday morning a telephone post located at the corner of Aguacate and Basilio Badillo, right near where the Tribune’s old offices were, fell down. I couldn’t tell you why. Maybe it was just old age. In any case, I guess it figured that if it was going to go, it would pull down its companions with it - which it did. Two more posts came tumbling down into the streets, pulling the cables attached to them down with them. I am inserting photos of the «deceased» so that you too may see how they lay there, unattended, for three whole days.
Sure, everyone in the area reported the incident, but that wasn’t enough to get any repairmen to the site on a weekend. So we all waited.

But the funny (?) thing happened when I tried to report the incident. I used my cell phone. It’s a Telcel, meaning it belongs to yet another mega company owned by Mr. Carlos Slim, the richest man in Mexico. Actually, he was the richest man in the entire world for a few months last year. In any case, I found out that none of the «emergency» numbers can be dialed from a cell phone. So I called the cell phone operator, and explained my dilemma. She listened, not particularly pleasantly, and then said, «Yes, you’re right. You cannot report it from a cell phone.» And she hung up.

So, for the first time in my life here in Puerto Vallarta, I went to an internet café, Dee’s Coffee Company to be exact. Don’t get me wrong, I love Dee, and her fabulous sandwiches, pastries and pies, and especially her espresso, but it just ain’t the same as working from home.

Tuesday morning, I got up early (which I never do), and got dressed, ready to go back to Dee’s, as my neighbor had told me that he’d spoken to a repairman who told him the posts would not be repaired before Thursday or Friday. But then my phone rang and I jumped off my chair. I hadn’t heard that sound in three days! As it turned out, it was my daughter calling me from Montreal. She wanted to know if I was angry with her as I wasn’t returning her calls… I explained the situation to her.

About an hour later, I received another phone call, this time from -you’ll never guess- a TelMex technician! He wanted to make sure that everything was ok, that both my phone lines and my internet service had all been properly reinstated, etc. etc. I thanked him profusely. It had only been three days!

Changing tracks, I finally made it out to Hacienda Xochitl. Yes, the name is a little hard for us foreigners to pronounce, but trust me when I tell you that you will absolutely fall in love with the place! There were five of us there last weekend (including our sometime restaurant reviewer, Gary Beck) and everyone spent the evening raving about the place, the food …and the service! At the end of it all came the biggest surprise of all: the bill. They could charge double and no one would care. That’s how reasonable the prices are, and how lovely, delicious the food.

Another restaurant news: Bruce’s Back Alley will now be called the Back Alley Steak House. I was speaking to Jason when he generously gave us some gift certificates to give out to the winners at our weekly Bingo game, and he told me that since they started serving lunches and making home deliveries, they’ve been going nuts. I am so glad to hear that. It really doesn’t matter what he calls the place, the food is super there too!

Well, that’s all I have to share with you this week, dear readers.

Remember, this weekend has been set apart for us to honor our moms - even more than usual. They deserve it! Next month, we can honor our dads... There is a quote from Washington Irving that I would like to share with our readers on the occasion of the very special day that is Mother’s Day: «A mother is the truest friend we have. When trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavors by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.»
Only some of us have children, but all of us have mothers. If yours is still alive, remember her on Mother’s Day. If not, remember her kindly. To all the mothers reading this, I wish a most Happy and Joyous Mother’s Day filled with hugs and sloppy kisses. Keep up the great work, ladies, and remember that ours is the only occupation that doesn’t come with a «How To» manual. We all do the best we can, don’t we? With time, our children do see the light and stop blaming us for their woes. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

April 25, 2008

2008-05-01T12:50:00.004-05:00

More important news around town during the last weeks of April, the most interesting of which was the shutting down of the construction site at the Grand Venetian. It appears that the workmen hadn’t been paid in quite a while, some for three weeks, others for six or seven. They’re the ones who shut it down, it wasn’t even the authorities. And the folks of the Vallarta Verde group, the same that organized that great day to save the town’s remaining green spaces –especially the island on the Rio Cuale- demonstrated against the construction of the Rivera Cuale’s three big towers.

Personally, I haven’t had the opportunity to visit the place though I was invited a few times, but I did get a chance to see with my own eyes what is going on up where the Amapas I and II projects are being developed. What I saw was horrible.

What used to be lush jungle growth, populated by myriad birds (including Military Macaws!) was now a quasi vertical hillside covered with cement. And what’s worse is that the whole thing appears to be in suspense. We didn’t see anyone working, and my friend told me that is because the money has run out… Their 2-page spread in the fabulous Spring issue of Vallarta Lifestyles shows a building surrounded by jungle that makes it look like the Mayan pyramids at Tikal. Nothing could be farther from the truth. That’s the third mega development I know of where work has been suspended. Sure doesn’t augur well for the future.

On the positive side of the topic of construction, Mexico’s National Polytechnic Institute (IPN) has started a project whereby it is studying the country’s beaches to determine the best ways to preserve and even improve them, with jetties, reefs, and other such measures. I sure hope they’re more successful than the folks who tried to do the same up along the coastlines of Cape Cod, Cape May, South Palm Beach, etc… Those «experts» were completely unsuccessful against Mother Nature. She doesn’t take well to our shenanigans.

Ok, enough about construction.

I want to use this space to personally apologize to our photographer, Javier Perez, for all the covers of last week’s Tribune that showed a purple primavera tree in the foreground. I saw the original photo. It was nothing short of breathtaking, as so much of his work is. I couldn’t tell you what happened, especially considering that some covers came out quite well, while others, well… All I can say is that one of these days, the folks at Telefonos de Mexico who have been messing around with the program that enables our designer to upload every issue to the World Wide Web, will get their act together. And when they do, and when all the missing issues are uploaded to our site, you will be able to see how beautiful that particular photo is.

Talking about photos, I’m including a couple I took at the Passover Seder held at Sol’s Café Bohemio. As expected, the place was full (sold out in two days!), there were folks from everywhere, including a good part of this town’s Jewish community, and this time, Sol really outdid himself. The food was great, very different from what Ashkenazi Jews are accustomed to – really delicious.

When I heard about the verdict delivered by the judge in my friend Brenda Martin’s case, aside from my own personal reaction which I will not share here, another thought came to mind… If the folks running the Puente Grande women’s jail in Guadalajara were related to those running the little jail here in PV, she could have switched clothing with another inmate and gotten a «release from the powers-that-be, and escaped months ago… As things stand now, we’re all waiting to see how much clout our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, has with Mexico’s President, and whether they will truly expedite her extradition back to Canada, as promised.
There’s some truly good news among the other recent headlines in the local papers: It appears that the town’s Public Services Department has installed some 30,000 square feet of sod on top of the old dump. They claim that this will help stabilize the site so that there will be no run-off of noxious substances once the rainy season begins, and that this grass will also help absorb the noxious gases given off by the refuse beneath. An additional 100,000 square feet were scheduled to be covered with sod this past week and the plan is to plant trees over the entire area, thus improving the appearance of the site while giving back green spaces to the community. Sounds good to me.

And the front page of the Vallarta Opina daily stated that the Hilton hotel chain was going to spend some $250 Million Dollars on expanding its investments in 14 Mexican tourist destinations, including Puerto Vallarta! I’m curious to see where this new hotel will rise.

I wish you all a super fun week, don’t forget your sunscreen ‘cause it’s gotten HOT out there, folks. Take care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

April 18, 2008

2008-05-01T12:46:00.003-05:00

All the big wigs from Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit (the name given a year ago to all the towns along the north shore of the bay, and beyond) were in Acapulco last week. They were attending the annual Tianguis, the biggest Tourism Trade Fair in Mexico, and each tried its best to outdo the other.

Our neighbors to the north are boasting about their recently-instituted policy of promoting low density developments, preserving their environment, and the zillions they received in investments this past year. On the other hand, our side… well, what can I say?

Talking about cities that compete for the almighty tourist dollar… Cancun, one of Puerto Vallarta’s competitors, has a new motto: «Paradise has a name. It’s Cancun.» Now don’t get me wrong. Where would we be if we all had the same tastes? It’s good that there are different strokes for different folks. But I’ve been to Cancun a few times over the last seventeen years, on both pleasure and business trips. It’s not my thing. True, Caribbean water is unparalleled, crystal clear and turquoise in color, but I love our mountains, and there aren’t any around the Yucatan Peninsula. Besides, I don’t feel safe in a place that is in the direct path of so many hurricanes. Besides, just like us, they have to battle the sometimes deadly Aedes mosquito that transmits that dreaded disease – dengue.

And then there’s Rio de Janeiro, different country, different continent. Rio has lost over 10 percent of its tourism due to dengue! The authorities there are scrambling to eradicate the Aedes that transmits the disease by biting an infected person and then biting someone else. These unwanted insects live among humans and breed in discarded tires, flower pots, old oil drums, and water storage containers close to human dwellings. Unlike the mosquitoes that cause malaria, dengue mosquitoes bite during the day.

Our Mayor recently submitted a proposal for Puerto Vallarta to be included in Mexico’s federal program for the prevention and eradication of dengue. He said that through this measure, this town’s battle against dengue will be strengthened with resources that will enable it to raise the educational level of the community with regard to preventive steps and control that may be used to eradicate the disease. That’s all well and good, but in the meantime that swimming pool behind our place is still filled with disgusting, green and slimy stagnant water ...and no one is doing anything about it – despite all the complaints that have been lodged against its owners.

There was other heartwarming news too. My colleague, Osvaldo Granados, wrote a fascinating article on the 126 schools in the Vallarta region whose students will be receiving eyeglasses courtesy of the Department of Public Education of the federal government. The program’s motto is «ver bien para aprender mejor» (see well to learn better). It aims to test all the kids and give glasses to those found to suffer from myopia, astigmatism, and similar ophthalmologic deficiencies. Unbeknownst to me, the program has been running formally some 9 years now. Bravo! Now that’s a good thing.

More good stuff: A few years ago, I wrote about the sculptures of Jim Vitale that were exhibited at the restaurant that is today Barrio Sur (great place with great food & service, by the way). This artist picked up all sorts of débris on the beach, and turned it into the most delightful, whimsical pieces you could imagine. Well, I just learned that Jim will be having another exhibit of recycled Mexican materials, entitled «Art Chairs».

The artist says they’re «whacky, clever, even comfortable, and yet always distinctive!» If you’re curious to see those beauties, they’ll only be shown one night: this Friday, April 25th, starting at 7 p.m., at Don Oxford’s Casa Divisadero at the Villa Tizoc condos. That’s the one with the cable car we see from the road leading to Mismaloya, but you can call for directions, 223-2980. I can’t wait to see them.

I accompanied my daughter to the Botanical Gardens last week because she wanted to attend the Photography workshop there. It always amazes me how the place just keeps on growing and improving, becoming more and more beautiful every time I visit. This was her first time there, so we ended up spending double the amount of time planned at the outset. She just kept walking around the grounds, exclaiming little sounds of delight every time she came upon another exotic plant… Don’t forget folks, it’s Earth Day this week, so if you haven’t visited the Gardens yet, here’s a perfect opportunity to do so! (See Joy’s article in this issue for exact info as to the time for the celebration.)

After the workshop, we went to Vitea for dinner - for the second time in two weeks. Boy, those boys sure know how to prepare some real gastronomical delights, Mediterranean delicacies, both there and at Trio, their original restaurant.

It’s also International Book Day on the 23rd. Here’s your trivia for the week, dear readers: Did you know that both Shakespeare and Cervantes, the great Spanish writer, passed away on this day? How strange.

And how strange is the sudden change in temperature in our paradise (as opposed to Cancun’s)? I actually turned on our ceiling fan for the first time this year. And the one at Santa Barbara’s on Bingo Night too! All the cobwebs were blown away.

Talking about Santa Barbara, I want to take this opportunity to extend my very best wishes for a prompt recovery to Bill, the light man for the Kenny and Dolly show that had to be cancelled due to his illness. The man is in quarantine because he has the measles! I also feel bad for all the people who won’t get a chance to see that delightful show.

And I feel even worse for my friend Brenda Martin. Her case has been the number one story on both of Canada’s national TV networks last week. The judge was supposed to render his decision on Monday. He didn’t. He told Brenda that he would do so last Friday, but he told the media that he could take a whole month if he wanted… What? He hasn’t had enough time to review this farce of a case yet? Incredible!I’ll tell you all about the Seder dinner at Café Bohemio next week. But for now, let me close by wishing everyone a most Happy Passover, filled with myriad good feelings, lots of loving and lots of sharing! Hag Sameach and hasta luego! pvmom04@yahoo.com

April 11, 2008

2008-04-13T16:01:00.002-05:00

There’s been a lot of exciting news vying for front page coverage in the local papers this past week, the strangest of which dealt with the possibility of tearing down the Gran Venetian. Yes, you read right, and it was no April Fools’ Day joke either!

When my business partner was living here in Vallarta, he always used to ask me, every day, «So… What’s in the funny papers today?» He knew I read the local papers from front to back, while he never quite mastered the language. I still remember that daily question, especially when the headlines scream something like «Will They Demolish Them?» In huge letters. With truly scathing political cartoons inside.

The whole thing refers to the Gran Venetian, the twin tower complex built on one side of the mouth of the Pitillal river. The three-tower Peninsula complex is on the other side.

The present administration has initiated a number of legal proceedings over the last year and a half with regard to the more than 160 building permits the former mayor and his henchman, the then head of the permits department, issued during the last 15 days of his administration. Each uses a different basis, some use the alleged illegal change in zoning regulations, others use other reasons. In this particular case, accusations have been flying around from the get go.
Based on my own experience, I find the whole thing laughable. I believe that absolutely nothing will come of all these judicial proceedings and months of paperwork. After all, my neighbor’s truly, proven, illegal construction has been shut down, clausurado, no less than five times. He’s got a whole bunch of lawsuits pending against him, and yet nothing has been done. I’ve been told that he’s got friends at City Hall, which is why no ruling has been made by the judge handling the cases.

The whole thing is oh so similar to our friend Brenda Martin’s situation. Very sad.

To follow up, it appears that they’re going to shut down no less than FIVE construction sites, including the controversial Nima Bay at the entrance to Marina Vallarta, and Tres Mares (also in the Marina), the four 25-story condo towers complex advertised in those huge billboards all over the main road to Vallarta. The charges against the latter are based on alleged illegal change of zoning, claiming that it is being built on a property designated as «tourist-hotel», and that it is higher than allowed by law.

And then there’s the scandal caused by the recent death of that young man. They actually caught the shooter, jailed him …and he escaped, purportedly to the North Shore, i.e. Nuevo Vallarta. Last Wednesday, the commander of the Bahia de Banderas AFI (similar to the American FBI) was found shot to death in Nuevo Vallarta. They say the assassin fled to Puerto Vallarta.

On this side of the Ameca River, everyone’s being fired, everyone’s got someone to accuse, and our poor Mayor doesn’t seem to know which way to turn in order to come out of this shameful situation …cleanly. Ohmygoodness.

But enough of this political whatever-you-wanna-call-it.

There are other things that are much more enjoyable, things that make us smile, the reasons why we still love living here ...and continue to do so. Little things like my friend’s excited phone call last week, to let me know that they’ve gotten all kinds of goodies at Rizo’s supermarket, items like sharp cheddar cheese and all sorts of Kosher meats from the U.S. - hot dogs, pastrami, etc.

Little things like learning of a restaurant that one has never heard of, and looking forward to trying it out. Little things like the deelicious soups and the dumplings with peanut sauce at "Wok & Roll", Ms. Thuy’s Vietnamese restaurant way out there, near the airport. Mid-size things like the fact that Seapal, the water company, has finally come of age, into the cyberspace age. It was the last utility whose bills could not be paid online. Now they can.

Big things? Yes, like having one's children and grandchildren come down for a visit looking pale, and tired, and leaving revitalized, happy and healthy... Like all the wonderful people who come to our Charity Bingo nights and those who adopt the furries at the Public Library every Saturday... Like those who attended the Vallarta Verde event on the island... Like the new tenant in my neighbor’s condo, the young exchange med student doing a stage at the new Regional Hospital, who just delivered his first baby the other day. Boy, was he excited! What made me even happier –aside from his exuberant pride- was his description of what is now a new, clean, air-conditioned facility …instead of the run-down, decrepit building that was the old Regional Hospital. Also, there are those awesome yellow blooms on the primavera trees...

And then there’s the weather! In one email, Paco Ringness, the gifted singer featured in that fabulous show, Dolly Would If Kenny Could, whose run was extended due to popular demand, wrote: «Has anyone else noticed the weather change, about two days ago??? It was like the time changed and POOF! Summer’s here! I still can’t get over how fast the change happened. Our fan’s on for the first time this season!» Couldn’t have said it better myself.That’s all for now, folks. Have a super week, spring is here and it’s gettin’ HOT! Take care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

April 4, 2008

2008-04-13T15:57:00.002-05:00

Well, we’ve finally caught up to the rest of the world - time-wise that is. And I just realized that we forgot to warn our readers in last week’s issue that this past Sunday, April 6th, at 2 a.m. to be exact, was when the long awaited change would take place. I hope it didn’t cause anyone too much inconvenience. In any case, I’m glad the confusion is over. It’s been very strange to be two hours behind the east coast and only one ahead of the west one for the last six weeks.

Before we set aside the topic of April Fools’ Day for another year, there’s a little story I’d like to share with you in the hope that it will give you a chuckle as it did with me.

A few years ago, the Director of the Tribune received a very interesting phone call. Sr. Procoro was the General Director back then, when we first published the article that was reprinted in last week’s issue (April Fools’ Day) of the Tribune. As soon as the paper hit the streets, he was contacted by some high up exec of Seapal (they’re the folks who run the potable water and sewage treatment plants in Vallarta). This gentleman was extremely upset at the article entitled «Dangerous Chemical Found in Puerto Vallarta» on December 28th, 2005 - The Día de los Inocentes. Now you may remember that the Día de los Inocentes is the equivalent of our April Fools’ Day. This was clearly explained at the very beginning of the issue. In addition, the author of that article -and a few others sprinkled throughout the paper- was a certain «John Innocent». As you may have noted last week, the «dangerous chemical» mentioned in the title of the controversial (?) article in question referred to water, H2O, a.k.a. dihydrogen monoxide in chemical terms… pure water. Anyways, once I had explained - i.e.: translated - the article to our director, he got as good a laugh from it as I did. I never did find out how his subsequent conversation with the exec went, but that’s what happens when people who are not fluent in a particular language jump to conclusions…

When I went back to our archives to find the original article, I came across the following:
«Good news: according to an article published in the media last week, one of the municipal Department of Culture’s eleven New Year resolutions involves «a new distribution of information strategy to increase the potential of spreading cultural information in our town». Manuel Santana Encarnación, head of the Department, considers that the point «will receive more attention»… I sure hope it means that they will notify the «foreign» media of the events they have planned with a little more than 4½ hours’ notice. That would be super.» That was over two years ago and we’re still waiting.

We just received the April newsletter from our sometime contributor, Barbara Peters, owner of Galería Vallarta. In it, among other interesting tidbits, she writes: «Be sure to go to the Isla Rio Cuale on Sunday, April 6, for an all day concert by various musical groups dedicated to ecology and the preservation of the few green areas we have left in the downtown area … The group hopes to stop further encroachment of vendor stands on the island - which have ruined the former peaceful walk through a park-like area on the island. Why we need more vendor stands which all sell the same stuff and are unfair competition to stores who pay rent, taxes, social security, utility bills and wages is beyond me, especially since they do not sell for less than established stores and do not mark their prices.»

Well said, friend! I hope many of you attended the event, and I hope the residents of this beautiful town will do what must be done in order to preserve that one and only green space left in the heart of town.

A propos, I happened to stumble upon an updated Google Earth satellite map of Vallarta, much clearer than the previous one. What made me smile was that the person who did it must have taken for granted that streets in this town were similar to those in other towns, i.e. grid-like and continuous. Unfortunately, such is not the reality (which is one of the reasons why I moved here to start with). Streets on the south side stop when they meet a cliff and then continue on the next level up - sometimes with the same name, and sometimes not. Some streets continue in a totally different section, as if the two or three blocks -or the mountain- in between, did not exist. But that is how it is.

Anyways, getting back to Google’s version of this part of the Earth, its Puerto Vallarta map has those streets running uninterrupted from the shore all the way up the mountain. Heaven help those visitors who decide to print out that map to use while they’re here… They’re sure to get hopelessly lost, just as we did when we first moved here and believed in the maps we were given.

And about traffic… Now that the madness of the Easter holidays is over, the town has returned to its normal status, we can find parking spots, the ambiance is quieter, and once again, the breathtaking primavera trees are showing off their amazingly bright yellow blooms all over town, along with their companions, the amapas trees. They’re the ones with the big pink blooms. Now, all we have to do is relax for the next few weeks, when the hoopla will start all over with the traditional festivals, festivities and holidays of the month of May.Until then, I wish you a fabulous week, stay healthy and happy. Hasta luego. Email me at pvmom04@yahoo.com

March 28, 2008

2008-04-13T15:49:00.003-05:00

As I’ve mentioned on various occasions in the past, there are times when the Muse just doesn’t come to visit me. This week happens to be one of those times.

So much has been happening that I haven’t even had time to make notes about what I would like to share with you, as I usually do. (I can’t depend on my memory any more…)

Occupancy in the town was at 100% for the last couple of weeks, so I didn’t leave the house except to go to the vet’s for some pet food. And the newspapers were busy reporting all that hoopla, along with the usual political back-and-forth accusations.

Other headlines that gave me a chuckle this past week were: "Residents and businessmen of Colonia Emiliano Zapata refuse relocation of vendors" (that part I have left to my colleague Francisco, so that you may read his take on one particular aspect of it), "Civil servants training to separate waste products" (i.e. organic vs. inorganic), and the one to top it all off: "Fountain in Plaza Pitillal may disappear".

Now you may recall that I’ve mentioned a few times that the trees they planted on the cement slab that covers the underground parking garage built where Pitillal’s pretty main square used to be …were dying, like the ones along the extension of the Malecon. Now the trees look a little better, but it appears that the fountain that was installed there never worked. The local delegate said that they were thinking of removing it as it was «not well built from the get go, no filters, etc., and it would cost too much to do all that is necessary for it to work». Hmmm… seems like a déjà vu, doesn’t it?

The politic-ese language baffles me. I truly believe that all politicians, regardless of the country, must attend the same school, where they are taught to speak for a long time – without saying anything. Amazing!

Before I become really nasty, I think I’d better change the topic, sort of. It’s about the trees, the primavera (with the gorgeous bright yellow blooms) and the amapas (with the pink blooms) to be exact. The former bloomed in February, lost their blooms, and now I’ve seen them blooming – again! That’s a first. I couldn’t explain it if I tried.

Aren’t anniversaries fun? Imagine, eleven years! Geez, and to think that I’ve been there since shortly before its beginnings… Wow, time sure flies when you’re living in "paradise", don’t it?

Have a wonderful week, dear readers, and don’t let yourself be «fool»ed – either with what you read, or anything else this Tuesday – except for Bingo. That’s on for real, on Tuesday. See you there! pvmom04@yahoo.com

March 21, 2008

2008-04-13T15:43:00.004-05:00

Before my memory fails me completely, I do want to tell you some of the things I wanted to share with you last week - before receiving Mr. Rusnell’s disturbing article on our friend, Brenda Martin’s, situation. I’ll get back to that later.

The first thing I wanted to mention was, as I had written the previous week, that I had been invited to attend THE event of the year, Puerto Vallarta’s revered Becas Ball. This is –to the best of my knowledge- the only event that attracts all the upper crust of both local Vallartans and foreigners (which is without doubt the reason for which I’d never been invited until this time, just because my friend had an extra ticket…)

This year’s edition was held at the Westin Resort & Spa in Marina Vallarta, on the Los Arcos Patio, outside, by the shore. The place was packed, the décor superb, and the band and its singer … fabulous. What I did not know as I was madly foraging for anything that wasn’t a sundress in what I call my «Montreal boxes» (stuff that I brought down 14 years ago and never use), was that 1) the event would be held outside, and 2) that our usually welcomed «cool ocean breeze» would turn into gusts of something akin to a stingingly cold, Canadian-like nor’easter. Some of the ladies obviously knew, as they kept relatively warm, elegantly wrapped in beautiful shawls.

A professional auctioneer, Mr. Nathan Clakley of Walnut Creek, CA, was hired to conduct the auction. He climbed upon the huge disco-like stage set up in the middle of the Patio, surrounded by tables on three sides, with the raised stage at the head. Accompanying him was an older Mexican gentleman whom we were told would act as translator.

My companion and I were seated at a table with five other couples, folks we had never met before. All really fun people, and obviously with the means to bid on everything up for auction – which they did.

Mr. Clakley was very verbose in his welcoming statement. He then handed the microphone over to the Mexican gentleman, who said, in Spanish: «Ummm… welcome to everyone,» and gave the mike back to the MC, who then spoke about how much he values and respects the work and accomplishments of the Becas Vallarta organization, how wonderful it was that the students would go to school, go home, study and go to bed - instead of getting involved in unsavory occupations, and so on. The Mexican gentleman was handed the mike once again, and this time he translated the lengthy speech as: «Ummm… students go home and go to bed.» Trying to stifle my laughter, I whispered what had just happened to my companion, who doesn’t understand Spanish. A lovely lady from North Carolina who was seated at our table overheard me. She burst out laughing, so I had to tell the others that the «interpreter» either didn’t understand English, couldn’t remember everything Mr. Clakley said, or was just lazy. It really was very funny, and we all had a good laugh, but I felt bad for those guests who didn’t understand English either, as what Mr. Clakley said was very nice indeed, and most complimentary. The auction itself was not translated for them at all.

I hope you all spent a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day, but for many of us, the date will always carry a sad memory as it is the day on which our friend Mary Sue Morris left this earthly plane, a year ago. Rest in peace, Mary Sue.

Without any intention of encroaching on Ronnie Bravo’s specialty, there is one little thing I’d like to share with you… From time to time, when I want to check my email on Yahoo!, I find that I cannot get into my «inbox». I usually surf with Explorer, but when that happens, I get out of that one and switch to Mozilla. When I did that today, and attempted to check my email on Yahoo!, this is the message I got:
«Can’t talk now. System’s down. Sorry for the holdup. Looks like a temporary glitch in our network has part of Yahoo! mail down, so you’re briefly without service. Rest assured the alarms are blaring in the basement and our team is working frantically to get you up and running ASAP. Again, the snag is on our end — so there’s no need for you to do a thing.
Back to it,
Yahoo! Mail Team»

Now, I find that to be very nice, considerate, on their part. Why wouldn’t they post the same thing on Explorer?

Having spent time with Mr. Steve Wozniak, the inventor of the Apple Computer and co-founder of Apple Inc. last week (see separate article), the story of Michael Nygard’s airport experience last week made me chuckle. It appears that Mr. Nygard, a computer programmer, was pulled aside and made to sit in the holding area. He watched as a gaggle of TSA workers examined his things, especially his laptop ... «‘There’s no drive,’ one said. ‘And no ports on the back. It has a couple of lines where the drive should be,’ she continued...» As you’ve probably guessed, Michael’s MacBook Air had them all baffled. Fortunately, a younger member of the team eventually arrived and explained that it’s not a «device», but a computer with a solid state hard drive. So here’s a warning to anyone traveling with a MacBook Air: schedule a few extra minutes for the airport.

Everyone’s been talking about the «new kid» in town - Coconuts. This is a restaurant located where Palacio Oriental used to be, at the corner of Lazaro Cardenas and Constitucion. If you haven’t tried it yet, go for it! Good, down home southern cooking, all prepared on the spot, from scratch, country fried steak or chicken, fish, bar-b-q’d ribs, fresh breads - corn, basil, parmesan garlic… Fried green tomatoes (yes, the real thing), collared greens, creamed spinach, hush puppies, etc. etc. Different all-you-can-eat specials every day, nice, soothing décor, and really friendly, attentive service …plus very reasonable prices! The place has already become a favorite among many of us locals, and it’s only been open for a little over a month, so reservations are now recommended: 141-0313 to speak to John, the owner, or 131-8808 for his partner, Seth.

Now that we are under new management at the Tribune, with Sr. Eduardo Navarrete as Managing Director, I have to drive out there again, once a week. Originally, this talented young man from Mexico City had scheduled the meetings for 9 a.m., but when I explained the traffic situation to him, he was kind enough to move them to 11 a.m.

At the best of times, the traffic along the Libramiento bypass depends entirely on its intersection with Francisco Villa Avenue, a.k.a. Hell Corner. It can take up to a full 15 minutes, no kidding, to cross it because of the strange lights system. And what makes it even worse are the drivers who find themselves stuck right in the middle of that godawful place, with nowhere to go. Everyone’s an optimist, believing that the line will move enough to get them out of the way… Never happens. Also, if you are daring enough to drive around these weeks, be careful with those radar traps. They’re everywhere. But if someone comes to your window as you’re sitting there seething, and asks you for a contribution to the Red Cross, please, please, give them something. The local Red Cross is grossly underfunded and it truly needs our help!

I wish you all a most Happy Easter, a wonderful holiday in our unusually cool little paradise, and please, stay out of trouble with the authorities!

Regarding our friend Brenda, the Mexican courts have declared that there will be no change in her situation pending the judge’s decision AFTER her trial. And heaven only knows when that will be. This has turned into a major international affair, broadcast as the No. 1 story on the national newscasts in Canada. Not good. Not for Mexico, not for Canada, and most of all, not for Brenda.
Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

March 14, 2008

2008-04-13T15:37:00.001-05:00

The news concerning our friend Brenda Martin is so bad that instead of telling you about my insignificant adventures this week, I used "my" space to update everyone who knew this lady -and those who didn’t- as to the behavior of both the Canadian and Mexican governments in her case.
I cannot publish it in this blog as I do not wish to violate any copyright laws.

Mar. 8, 2008

2008-03-10T00:34:00.008-06:00

Charles Kingsley, the famous 19th Century novelist, once wrote: «There is something very wonderful about music. Words are wonderful enough; but music is even more wonderful. It speaks not to our thoughts as words do; it speaks through our hearts and spirits, to the very core and root of our souls. Music soothes us, stirs us up, it puts noble feelings in us, it can make us cringe; and it can melt us to tears; and yet we have no idea how. It is a language by itself, just as perfect in its ways as speech, as words, just as divine, just as blessed.» And Pablo Casals, the famous Catalan cellist, wrote: «Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart.» I am sharing these two quotes with you because I cannot find my own words to describe my experience the night I attended Dana and Mark Zeller’s concert for the benefit of the Clinica de Rehabilitacion Santa Barbara ...nor do I want to plagiarize any of Polly Vicars’ superlatives.

In a community of expats as relatively small as ours is in Puerto Vallarta, we are truly blessed to have the caliber of talent we have here, and the kind of artists who are willing to share it. I use the word as all-encompassing, i.e.: painters, musicians, actors, sculptors, etc. We are lucky to have live theater of the quality offered at the Santa Barbara Theater, and their shows have brought us what was missing for so many years – culture, entertainment, quality. And boy, am I grateful for its existence! Many years ago, a very well-known Vallartan, very active on the local «cultural» scene, attended one of the performances there. At the end of it, he told me something that has stayed with me all this time. He said, «I never knew the foreign community could put on such shows. What a pity that we cannot do the same…» True, that was then, before the construction of the fabulous hall at the Coastal University Center, a.k.a. CUC, of the University of Guadalajara. They’ve hosted some fabulous events there, but unfortunately, unless that same gentleman informs us of them, we never know about them …until after they’ve taken place. Perhaps the disease that afflicts the municipal Department of Culture is contagious…

But I digress. What I wanted to say was that, and this is a confession, I have never been moved to laughter –and tears- like I was, listening to the music presented by this incredible couple, Dana and Mark Zeller. I don’t want to repeat what Maria wrote in her review of the show (see separate article), I just want to add to it.

The repartee between the two is just delightful, and the relationship they appear to have cultivated over decades of marriage is the kind we all dream of, but it’s their voices! Oh my! And with all the respect in the world for Dana’s multiple talents, both as a singer and an actor, it is Mark’s powerful baritone that got to me. Topol, move over! I don’t recall the last time I cried, just listening to a song. I could go on and on, but I won’t. All I want you to know is that if you haven’t attended one of their performances yet, you can still do so this week, especially if you’re an amateur of «classic» Broadway shows, the old stand-bys. I should also mention that aside from the ability these two professionals have to «project» (so that every seat in the house is a good seat), the acoustics in Cathy Von Rohr’s gallery are amazingly good. Please don’t miss it.

And bring some tissues – for the tears of laughter, and the other ones too. Besides, the money you’ll pay for your ticket goes to such a worthy cause! Check out Maria’s review for information regarding tickets, times, etc.

There is a rumor going around that Rosie O’Donnell will be visiting our fair city on March 19th. Purportedly, she will be coming with the «All Gay Family Spring Break» on Holland America’s beautiful Oosterdam. The cruise promoters write: «Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) will be on board to spend time with you. R Family is calling it PFLAG @ Sea, and it will give you the opportunity to relax and meet new people.» I think that’s a super idea!
I went back to the Beach House, the place I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, the one next to El Dorado. I was with a different group this time, so we got to try more of the super dishes on their menu. I also noticed a whole bunch of our regular readers there this time. I’m glad they took my advice, or maybe they knew about the place before I did. Regardless, it’s always nice to see someone succeed simply based on excellent food and excellent service. Just goes to prove: size ain’t all… Except when it comes to potholes.

There’s one on Aguacate Street that just keeps on getting bigger and deeper with every day that passes. It’s a high traffic block, traveled by many trucks, ATVs, and the wood supply place is there too, just to make it more interesting. The men who were filling the holes on Jacarandas, the street next and parallel to Aguacate, told me that they would fix it. That was months ago…

And on the topic of those ubiquitous ATVs, I read that the folks in the Paso Ancho area blocked access to their part of town for two hours, in protest against the damage the daily passage of those hundreds of vehicles cause to their environment …and their health. Turns out that the companies that operate the ATVs, a.k.a. dune buggies, actually pay transit rights to those communities. Problem is that those payments do not trickle down to the inhabitants. The roads in their part of town are not paved, so the vehicles stir up lots of dust, which is then inhaled by the residents. This has already caused much respiratory diseases there. A while back, I remember reading something about them getting reimbursed for the water they would need to wet the roads, but then, nothing. They have a justifiable beef. The ATV drivers are provided with face bandanas to cover their noses and mouths, but the residents aren’t about to spend their days wearing those things. I can’t blame them. I sure hope the matter will be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, soon.

I received some very sad news just as I was about to send in this column. Beverly Rose, yet another talented artist, a wonderful, gentle director and human being, has left us. Rest in peace, dear friend. You will be sorely missed.

And may you, dear readers, spend a wonderful, peaceful week in our little not-so-perfect paradise. Take care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Mar.1, 2008

2008-03-10T00:08:00.011-06:00

I haven’t mentioned much regarding one of my favorite Mexican companies, Telefonos de Mexico, lately. I’ve gotten used to the fact that I will get the messages that callers leave for me when I’m not home …just a few days later, sometimes as many as ten. I always check to see if I have messages every time I’ve gone out. And every time, I hear «You have no new messages,» spoken in a most pleasant, polite female voice, not like that horrific one who yells out «LINEA OCUPADA!» if the number you’re dialing is busy… Then, every once in a while, I’ll pick up the receiver to make a call, only to hear (in Spanish of course) «Please dial asterisk eighty-six to pick up your messages.» That’s when I can usually hear messages left any time between a few minutes ago …and last week. Well, today, I heard something new, even for me. I dialed asterisk eighty-six, but all I got was another nice voice saying «We’re sorry, this service is unavailable at the moment. Kindly try again later.» So there you have it. Vivan los Telefonos de Mexico!

In this land of extremes and surrealistic realities, where there are people living in cardboard shacks just a couple of kilometers away from million-dollar condos and department stores selling blouses for $200 dollars, where the public hospitals are constantly running out of the most common medicines, there is a huge billboard on the highway leading north which advertises … cryogenics!

I’m including the photo so you won’t think I’m making this up, but that’s what it is. In fact, the billboard shows a pretty pregnant lady and the text reads: «Protect that which you love the most. Preserve your stem cells.» Don’t get me wrong. I think the concept is fabulous. I wish I had had the opportunity to preserve mine, for my children’s sake, but the technology didn’t exist yet, back then. (Neither did disposable diapers…) I just found it so incongruous and somehow out of place…

Talking about things out of place, the other night my menagerie suddenly went wild for no apparent reason. Dogs and cats jumping around, all focused on the same point. The point turned out to be the biggest, greenest grasshopper I have ever seen anywhere. I have no idea where it came from …nor do I want to know what became of it in the end. Maybe it’s just another one of those mutations.

I know that I’ve mentioned it many times before, but we have truly messed up this little planet of ours, folks. In more ways than one, and it’s not just the changes in the fauna.

This year, the breathtakingly beautiful primavera trees whose huge bright yellow bloom usually dot our surroundings in the month of April, are already losing their flowers. They bloomed a full two months early. And the potted poinsettias I planted in my garden last January, after their «season», are just blooming now, in March! This is not a good thing. I read that similar things are happening all over the world, wreaking havoc with the entire pollination processes and subsequently, with the harvests. The fruit trees flower early, the insects arrive too late, the fruit don’t happen, etc. etc. Although I scored well in my botany classes decades ago, I couldn’t explain all this if you paid me. I just know it doesn’t augur well for our future. And I still haven’t been able to go out in the evenings without a long-sleeved sweater and long pants; it’s been nearly three months already. Thank goodness for the heat in the daytime.

An article written by Paty Aguilar for NoticiasPV states that the City is looking to purchase one of those humungous machines that compresses car wrecks. The intention is to clear the city streets of all the abandoned cars and pick-up trucks and set up a dump where such a «compressor» would be installed to squash these old vehicles - all in order to obtain the coveted «clean city» certification. All that sounds just fine. The point I do not understand is where the article goes on to state that the owners of these wrecks will be compensated. Huh? For what? For having abandoned these eyesores in public streets for months, if not years? For causing additional expense to the city? The logic escapes me.

I am also amazed at how the folks who represent the three competing bus companies in this town have the gall to ask for a raise in the fares they charge. I got a glimpse of the letter that reader sent in to our paper this week; can you imagine watching a bus falling apart as it’s driving? Ohmygoodness. That’s scary stuff! Nacho Cadena wrote a hilarious article last year which he entitled «All for 5 Pesos!» In it, he described riding the buses in our town as an «extreme sport». If I can, I’ll see if the Trib would reprint it one day.

Before I forget, I have good news for all our readers who enjoy real hallah (or challah) bread, you know, the one that’s made with eggs and looks like a braid. Well, the folks at The Deli, located at 311-B Venustiano Carranza in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town, have discovered the secret to making the real thing. I shared a loaf with a half-dozen picky Jewish friends of mine, just to get their opinion. It was unanimous: this was REAL hallah! The loaf I got had raisins in it, and I was thinking… it was also very close to the raisin bread I’ve been missing so much lately. Hmmm… And boy, is it great for making French toast!

While I’m still on the food theme, I had another one of those serendipitous discoveries last week. The half & half cream that Fruit Forest hasn’t been able to get for the last couple of months …was stacked three deep at Rizo’s! Which -of course- doesn’t mean that I will ever find it there again. Sort of like the canned salmon they’ve all been promising to stock for the last six months… Just another similarity with the former Soviet Union. Over there, when a highly sought after item appeared on a store shelf, folks would have to stock up on it –if they had the money- ‘cause they never knew if they would ever find it again. This is a common occurrence here. Every once in a while, unexpected items show up, especially at Wal-Mart, sometimes exhibited at the end of an aisle. Items like mixed nuts in beautifully painted canisters, shortbread cookies from Scotland … or salmon.

Still on things unexpected, I got a good laugh when I noticed what the computer grinches did with the final Tribune of a couple of weeks ago, the one with the lady charro on the cover. Words, and in a couple of cases, entire titles, were missing. I wonder how many readers noticed it… Instead of reading "R.I.S.E. Fundraiser Breaks All Records", the title read "R.I.S.E. Fundraiser Breaks". Instead of reading "PV Needs More High Rises", Gil’s article was entitled «PV Needs More High». Now, that was really funny! As if there weren’t enough marijuana around… Oh, well, what can I say?

I hope you all have a wonderful, surreal week - but in every good sense of the word. Take care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

By the way, to the reader who asked me why there were no comments posted in my "wonderful blog", I only have one answer: I don’t know. But thank you for the compliment.

Feb. 23, 2008

2008-02-24T12:18:00.012-06:00

This week, I must start with an apology to those readers who complained to me about the shortness of my column in the last issue of the Tribune. As mine is always the last to go in, I am subject to the number of articles, ads and news that need to published in any one particular issue.

To catch up on the items I wanted to share with you and couldn’t, here goes:Firstly, there was the meeting of HELP!, the organization that helped me acquire my dual citizenship last year (before the government changed the regulations governing such procedure).

The upstairs restaurant at Santa Barbara’s was full of folks who wanted to become Mexican citizens with dual citizenships, and to know more about such changes. From what I gathered, the main change enacted at the beginning of this year is that now you «have to have at least five consecutive years with an FM2, and you MUST speak and understand some Spanish - doesn’t have to be perfect, but enough to read or hold a light conversation,» according to Bonnie Sumlin, General Director of HELP! and the Colima -and Puerto Vallarta- guru in this matter.

If you missed the meeting and would like information, you can contact Bonnie at bonniehelpsinmexico@gmail.com or call Gary Howard or Ken Touchet at 221-5970 in Puerto Vallarta. They are the organization and Bonnie’s representative in this town. All that was on Sunday the 10th.

Over the last couple of weeks, to give our local readers an idea of the goings on in this town, here are some of the headlines that appeared in the Tribuna de la Bahía, our daily sister publication in Spanish:

- Residents complain about the construction of a building atop the small tunnel - temporarily shut down by the authorities.

- Residents complain about the Nima development in Marina Vallarta that want to build twice as high as their original permit allowed - Department of Urban Planning declares it illegal.

- The Marieta Islands are declared a «biosphere reserve».- Establishments along the Malecon pay up to $30,000. US Dollars per month in rent.

- The Puerto Park company sues the City for $2 Million Pesos for breaking the parking meter arrangement made with the previous administration.- The implementation of radar surveillance, breathalyzer tests, anti-graffiti operations and rise in bus fares you already know about.

- The Mayor is hoping for funds from the State to finish the highway linking Vallarta to Guadalajara (a 30-year dream of every subsequent city administration) and an additional 30-km bypass road to alleviate the traffic on the existing Libramiento.

- Mexico now ranked fourth in the world for pirating (CDs, movies, software, etc.) behind China, Russia and Italy.

- Drinking alcohol on the streets of Puerto Vallarta will be prohibited -and enforced- during the upcoming two-week Easter holidays. Business hours for shops selling alcohol will not be extended during that period.

- Motorcycle drivers fined for driving without helmets and/or licenses.

- New regulations approved to govern establishment signs and billboards. College of Architects and various Chambers demand regulation of image, not only of signs.

- Univa University demands solution to the city dump matter - still unresolved after years of discussion.

- 90% of street vendors with stalls sign relocation agreement with City Hall. Around 16 of them will be set up on Isla Cuale.

- Taxi drivers seek rate hike too. Airport taxis want a 6% increase.

- Department heads in charge of the "face lift" operation for the downtown area complain that the funds promised last year by the State of Jalisco and the Federal government to support their work …still hasn’t arrived.

- Construction sites in Amapas and Gaviotas temporarily shut down pending analysis of their permits, granted by the previous administration.

- Dangerous and illegal speed bumps to be investigated.

There you have it, greatly summarized of course. Personally, what concerns me the most is the possibility that the relocation of the vendors onto Isla Cuale is going to destroy the last surviving «park» in town. The question of speed bumps, on the other hand, has given me much laughter over the years. A colleague of mine wrote an article on it many years ago. It was always my intention to translate it and have it published in the Tribune because it was so well written, and so humorous, but it somehow got lost among the mountains of clippings all over the house. One day, I’m sure to find it and then I will do just that. I promise.

In the article published last Monday, the 18th, the local sub-Director of Transit was quoted as saying "The streets are saturated with speed bumps. Rather than representing safety, they symbolize anarchy on the roads. Most are not well installed or painted properly, nor are they duly announced, and they’re not approved by the authorities." Hallooo! Señor Sergio Davila goes on to state that drivers and pedestrians in this town are 50 years behind when it comes to cultura vial, the culture of driving. Hmmm…

Maybe if all those folks who drive too fast, with kids on their laps, talking on their cell phones, sometimes with three or four generations on the back of their gas-guzzling pick-up trucks, were stopped and seriously fined, they would learn faster, become a little more "cultured", driving speaking.

I am not going to drive out to the Botanical Gardens for the Noche de las Luminarias. I will take the bus like I did last year. It was so much fun! And there’s no doubt in my mind: that is the most beautiful stretch of road anywhere around the Bay of Banderas.

I did take one of my oh-so-rare leisurely, delightful drives out to Nuevo Vallarta to meet with the nice folks from the Yacht Club, the ones who organized the events that will be held on our bay this week. What an entertaining life they lead, coming into contact with fellow sailors from all over the world! Even though I’m not a sailor in any sense of the term, I think I just may call Vallarta Adventures to book a spot on one of the boats they’ll be using to take us landlubbers out there to watch the excitement.

(Notice: if you’re going to Home Depot, their access road is still closed, and no, they don’t tell you how to get to their parking lot. I guess they’re depending on our cultura vial…)

Talking about things beautiful, did you remember to look at the total eclipse of the full moon last Wednesday evening? Wow! It was really red, like in a science fiction movie, sandwiched between Saturn below and Regulus above. We’re not going to see another one like it for another two years. I just hope the total eclipse of the sun this August won’t be hidden to us by clouds.

And do make a point to go out to Plaza Hidalgo this week, before those lovely people from Oaxaca pack up and leave. I bought some beautiful items, and ate some yummy foods there. You can also see them prepare their famous chocolate mole from scratch! The tamales they make with it are amazing. As a matter of fact, I’ve gone back twice so far, and I intend to do it again. I also intend to go see those "Sassy Sixties", which I’ve been told is one fantastic show!

In the meantime, I hope to see you at Monday’s Bingo game. We’ve been having a good time there lately. Last week, I had to bring my "rescued" puppy with me so she wouldn’t eat any more of my books …or sofa. She behaved, most of the time.

I wish you all a wonderful week, filled with warm, sunny days and crisp, clear, starlit nights. And remember, if you want to remain up to date with the goings on in Vallarta, just log on to the Tribune's web site at www.vallartatribune.comTake care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Addendum (not published in the Tribune): We are all very proud of our children and their accomplishments as adults. The latest source of pride came from our Editor's eldest, Leah, who organized a unique, international project for Valentine's Day. The goal was simple: spread love and kindness. How wonderful this world would be without hatred and wars! For you blog readers out there, you may want to check it out at http://valentinesmetta.blogspot.com God bless the children!

Feb. 16, 2008

2008-02-24T12:14:00.004-06:00

They say that "when it rains, it pours". This was indeed the case in my life last week. It felt like a whirlwind of activity, from one event to another, one restaurant to another, relatives and friends and houseguests… and then it all stopped, for one day, before starting up all over again.

Before I forget, I want to thank each and every one of you (you know who you are) who complimented me through phone calls and emails on the cover photo of last week’s issue. I too was happy to see that it was used.

Once again, I’ve been told that "my" space has been reduced due to the amount of announcements that had to be published in this issue, but I do want to mention one important POSITIVE item: Last week, we received direct communication from the representative of the municipal Department of Culture, Sr. Wally Lobato, who promised to inform us AHEAD OF TIME of the events organized by his department. Now, I ask you - wouldn’t that be wonderful, for a change? I spoke directly with the gentleman. He seemed to understand our plight. I just hope that he fulfills his promise, unlike his predecessor, Sr. Izazaga, who also promised but never fulfilled… You will note that our Calendar of Events is much more informative this week.

I am writing this on Valentine’s Day and I hope to celebrate it doing something relaxing - for a change, like a nice, relaxed, home cooked dinner at Mama Dolores’ Diner. I attended the amazing R.I.S.E. fundraising event. What I do not understand is that they ran out of food within one hour and 15 minutes of starting, something that happened at the Altruism Festival too. You would think that the excellent restaurants that participate in the event, donating so generously, would at least take the number of tickets sold (i.e.: the number of people slated to attend) into consideration when preparing their sample fare… My friend and I left hungry, so we went to the Peninsula for some … food.

In case you’re interested, the other restaurants we visited over the last while, apart from Azul 96 (see separate article in this issue), included Espresso’s on I. L. Vallarta (still the best calzone and linguini with clam sauce around), Mama D’s for brunch with Luc and Louise, Café Bohemio, the buffet at Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt (always a full house), Agave Grill and Teatro Limon (both to the absolute delight of our out-of-town visitors), and a newcomer, Marco’s "Beach House", obviously on the beach, between Fidencio’s and El Dorado on Los Muertos beach. What a find! Comfortable chaises, cool towels brought to you to refresh you, salads served in bowls large enough to feed a group and oh so fabulous, wraps and drinks and sandwiches, all with superb service… If you’re down that way, try it out!

That’s all the space I’ve got for now. Gotta get mentally ready for Len’s big bash tomorrow, and then the Noche de las Luminarias, the QuesaDivas, etc. etc. See you at Bingo on MONDAY! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

P.S.: I just realized that I've never posted the Tribune's online web site address, so for those of you who'd like to keep up to date with the goings on in Vallarta, just log on to www.vallartatribune.com Sorry about that!

Feb. 9, 2008

2008-02-08T11:33:00.000-06:00

There are a number of different radio stations one can tune into in Puerto Vallarta, each with its own format, but when I’m driving around town, my favorite is Radio Cultural. Beautiful soothing, calming classical music to counteract the madness that has taken over this town’s traffic.

I swear, I have never seen as much traffic on the Libramiento as there has been over the last couple of months, since the «season» started. One time, the cars were backed up all the way from the Francisco Villa intersection …to the tunnel!

Getting back to the radio, imagine my surprise when I found myself listening to an ad promoting safe sex! Yessiree, you read right. Be smart, use condoms. Way to go, Radio Cultural! Until a few years ago, those were only available in certain drugstores, and people had to ask for them ‘cause they were not displayed. When one looks at the statistics of teenage pregnancies in this country…

I also noticed all the breathtakingly beautiful primavera trees blooming all over the place. Thank heavens for the few that are left, that haven’t been cut down in the night by some careless developer or a resident who was «tired of sweeping up the flowers that had fallen overnight» in front of their house…

I’ve had the pleasure of various house guests lately, some announced, some not. One couple of friends down here from cold and snowy Montreal asked me what I could suggest to them for an evening of entertainment. I recommended the Marigalante. They looked at me with that look, you know, the one that says «Really?» Yes, really. They went, and when they got home, they couldn’t stop talking about how much fun they had, how great the food was, the ship itself, the entertainment, etc. etc. Trust me, folks. If you haven’t taken their evening cruise yet, consider it seriously. The shows are great, the fireworks are right above you, you’ll love it - if you want to have fun, that is.

So this is the week of love, the month of love. We’ve received all sorts of interesting notes lately, many shops and restaurants are going all out to make this Valentine’s Day an unforgettable one for our visitors, and for the locals too. Galeria Vallarta is offering some beautiful authentic amber jewelry from Chiapas, heart earrings, necklaces with heart pendants, abalone jewelry in heart shapes, and so on. A good place to visit for that last minute gift.
A few years ago, my colleague Liana - the Tribune’s Irreverent Chef - published a special menu for Valentine’s Day. I happened upon it as I was going through some archives and I thought it might interest some of you. Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Menu: Appetizer: Oysters on the Half Shell, with Lime and Pomegranate Mignonette, Salad: Cold Steamed Asparagus Spears wrapped in Prosciutto with Roasted Tomato Vinaigrette and Diced Roma Tomatoes, Main Dish: Big Shrimp, Grilled and served with Basil Garlic Butter, Side Dishes: Steamed Baby Zucchini Truffle Risotto, Dessert: Banana split (Vanilla Ice Cream, Bananas, Chocolate Sauce and Fresh Strawberries). Liana assured our readers that «This menu has been specially designed to encourage loving feelings in mind and body. Good luck, and Happy Valentine’s Day! May it be filled with fabulous food and sensual delights.»

While I was going through those archives, I also came across an article that appeared three years ago. The heading read «Patronato Formed to Preserve Vallarta’s Historical Center» with the following text: «An important step in preserving the image of Puerto Vallarta as a typical pueblo was taken with the formation of the Patronato which includes prestigious community leaders dedicated to this task. This group will be able to receive federal and municipal funds in addition to local donations for beautification, tourist booths, directional signs, lighting, architectural planning etc. and will have the power to enforce existing regulations or create new ones when necessary. Problems with buses, traffic, pollution, circulation of tourists, parking, preservation of historic buildings etc. will be worked on.» Well, they’re still «working on it» from what I see, but I still don’t understand who or why anyone would grant a building permit to the owners of «Mandala» on the Malecon. Can anyone out there explain to me how this huge, ultra-modern white structure fits into the image of the typical Mexican pueblito? And what’s the story with Hooters? Are they finally, finally going to take down that godawful sign above the place that shows up in all the photos taken by tourists who want to show the main square and Los Arcos Amphitheater to their friends? Now, THAT would be a good thing!

Have a fabulous week, dear readers. Give love and you will receive it back, multifold. Happy Valentine’s Day and hasta luego! pvmom04@yahoo.com

Feb. 2, 2008

2008-02-08T11:28:00.000-06:00

I have the pleasure of a new -unexpected but most welcome- house guest these weeks, one who loves walking around town, discovery all sorts of little tidbits I don’t have the time to do myself. But I learn from his experience, and that’s always a good thing.

One of the rather more surreal ones he told me about involved the Blockbuster store on Basilio Badillo. As all TV aficionados know, we are all affected by the lack of new episodes in our favorite TV shows, due to the ongoing writers’ strike. And if we want to spend a quiet evening at home watching something different -and at the same time, interesting- on the boob toob, we head for Blockbuster. Which is what he did. (At this point, I should mention that he had never gone into any video store in PV.)

He asked the attendant where the «English section» was. To his surprise, the answer was, given rather rudely, «There is none. Everything is in Spanish.» So he left, somewhat dejected, came home and told me of his experience. Which makes me wonder… does the branch manager know that this is what his employee is telling visitors and tourists who don’t know any better, who don’t know that all the movies on DVDs usually give you a choice of languages, and sometimes more than just English and Spanish, depending on where the movie was made? Does the manager know how many potential customers he’s lost due to his employee’s ignorance? Just asking…

We have friends who live up in Amapas, accessible through the Callejon de la Igualdad. I went up there last week, with my houseguest, because he wanted to see those friends’ condo. The views of the bay from up there are breathtaking! But… I got to see -and feel- the condition of that road (see the Letter from Readers) - if we can call it a road. My little 7-year old Tracker, with its 4-wheel drive feature can handle anything, but I admit that I had doubts for a few moments there… and my doubts also relate to the upper part of Pulpito and Hortencia: What will happen to the folks who will be buying all those truly expensive, ultra luxurious condos up there when they all arrive with their cars? I hope they all know not to come with low-to-the-ground vehicles without 4-wheel drive. I’m not a civil engineer, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out how they will ever fix those roads.

For those of you who are not familiar with that part of town, these roads are only one lane wide, with ravines on one side and buildings on the other. So how will they do it without cutting off those people’s means of access for weeks on end? And if and when such repairs are accomplished, what will happen when a vehicle going uphill comes up against another coming downhill, and there are no «passing places» like they have in Scotland? I have no answers, and neither does anyone else I’ve asked.

Marcia, our friend and fellow contributor, wrote to me to tell me that she had met a young man from Spain this past week who said he papers the walls of his room with the covers of the Vallarta Tribune. She went on to write that it was «Quite a tribute to your photos!» That’s very sweet, but not all the photos that grace the covers of this publication were taken by yours truly. Far from it. And this week’s issue is a perfect example of that. It was sent to our editor by a reader - just like you. So, if you have some of those photos that you consider «special», send them in. You never know. The kudos may go to you, and your work may very well embellish this young man’s walls too.

Can you believe it? This is the first time ever that the Tribune holds FIFTY-SIX pages for your enjoyment! And no one can find the paper in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town… I wish I had an explanation, but I don’t. I haven’t been able to figure out their distribution system for the last few months.

And with all those pages, I’ve still managed to run out of space. I can't even tell you how fabulous a time we all had at the recent Dog Show. There were a zillion folks out there, and as many breeds of dogs, from teeny tiny Chihuahuas and Yorkies to great big mastiffs. (Just take a look at the photos in this issue.)So… until next time, take care of yourselves and of each other, and don’t forget to check out the calendar of events for this week! It’s packed with great stuff. Hasta luego.

pvmom04@yahoo.com

Jan. 26, 2008

2008-02-08T11:23:00.000-06:00

It was quite a day, Sunday the 20th. Everyone was talking football, football, football …and cold!

I did a little research on my own, and found that the coldest game in NFL history was not the 1967 NFL title game at Lambeau Field when the Packers beat Dallas 21-17 in the Ice Bowl. It was minus 13 that day and the wind chill factor was estimated at minus 48. In fact, in the 1981 AFC championship game, while the temperature was minus-9, the wind chill plunged to minus-59 at Cincinnati as the Bengals beat San Diego 27-7. BRRRRRR!!!!!

Personally, I’ve been experiencing my own feelings of cold, relative though they may be. I realize that my body has become so accustomed to the tropical climate down here, having lived here for so long, that I no longer cope very well with temperatures lower than 20oC. When I was young(er), I used to think that anything over 0oC meant spring. Like all my fellow Montrealers, I used to set aside the winter coats and go out into that «balmy» weather wearing nothing but a T-shirt or sweatshirt. But that was then and this is now. I see all the tourists - a.k.a. snowbirds - walking around in short shorts and sandals in the evening, and I shiver.

I don’t get direct sun in my place, a fact that has always served me well, especially in the summer time. Folks would complain about the heat, while it was always nice and cool in the house. Now it’s the other way around. The continuous «colder» days and nights have permeated the walls, and now it’s «cold» all the time. But no, I will NOT go looking for firewood to light in the fireplace in our living room, which has been hidden by our TV and entire sound system for the last 14 years. The only purpose it has ever served, besides being very decorative, is as a refuge for my cats whenever the dogs decide to chase them.

I guess I should have a serious talk with myself and remind myself what 35 below feels like, in order to feel warm again. And thank the heavens that I don’t live up in the states of Sonora or Sinaloa, or even Guadalajara for that matter. There, in the big city capital of the state of Jalisco, the mercury hasn’t risen much above 5oC at night.
Last week, I found out that Mega could be charged and sentenced to a prison term as well as a hefty fine for selling me some lovely, small elephant plants (Beaucarnea gracilis). I learned that trading in those plants, as well as the Sago Palm (Cycas revolute) I bought for $1,800. Pesos (!!!) at the nursery on Francisco Villa, has been classified as a crime by Mexico’s Department of the Environment and Natural Resources (SEMARNAT). Who knew? Oh, and it is also illegal to sell the Pachycereus weberi. All three have been reclassified as species in danger of extinction in the wild. Should we advise the nice owners of the local nurseries that they’re all trafficking in illegal plants?

Still on the «trafficking» theme - another friend came to spend a few days in Vallarta last week. The one thing she wanted to take back to Montreal was one of those beautiful talavera ceramic sinks they create at Mundo de Azulejos, but was always afraid to do on her past visits - despite my assurances that it would be ok, they only cost around $50-60 dollars and they’re really easy to transport as they are surprisingly lightweight. Well this time, she finally did it! Afterwards, it was all she could talk about, her beautiful new bathroom sink, all the time right up to her departure. She left a very happy camper indeed.

For those of you who are the slightest bit interested in my continuing saga with the credit card department at Santander, I have news. Since the last time I wrote about it, I have received no less than two credit cards from them, both of them wrong. Not the one I’ve been requesting for the last two years. And they even had the chutzpah to send me a bill for «handling» the first one, even though it was never activated, and even though I did not have it in my possession as I had returned it to the bank. So I called the 800 number on the bill to clarify the situation. I ended up talking to a very nice young lady who assured me that she would cancel the charge, and would I please fax her a receipt of my salary slip so she could raise my limit to the appropriate one needed for the Santander Mexicana credit card (which entitles its bearer to accumulate frequent flyer points). I did. A couple of days later, I received another credit card in the mail, delivered to my home. I showed the fellow my ID, signed a receipt form, and opened the envelope. Wrong card. Again. I called the 800 number, again, but I was told that my rep only worked the afternoon shift, from 2 to 8 p.m. (I didn’t want to start retelling my sad saga again, from the beginning, to yet another rep…) The next day, I called at 4 p.m., to find out that my rep only worked the morning shift and that, besides, they couldn’t attend to anyone anyways because their «system was down».

Later on, I had to go to Rizo’s to pick up a few things, and get some money out of their ATM from my Canadian account. For the first time ever (in my case), that ATM screwed up. It issued me a receipt for a $5,000.-Peso withdrawal - but no money. When I went to tell Miss Tina about it, everyone in her office protested, «You CANNOT withdraw more than $4,000. Pesos per day, señora!» «Of course you can,» I replied, «I’ve been doing it for years.» «Impossible! We have a memo here from the bank, telling us that no one can withdraw more than $4,000. Pesos.» I wondered whether I should tell them that the message that comes on to the screen of the ATM clearly states that one can withdraw up to $5,000. Pesos per transaction, but I thought it better not to. Now I’ll just have to call my bank and ask them to fix the booboo.

Did I mention that ever since I got a ticket for parking in a no parking zone on Venustiano Carranza across from the Benito Juarez parking garage, cars have been parking there, in the very same spot, every day, and not a single one has ever gotten a ticket that I know of? I drive by there every day, and every time it makes me wonder what Murphy had against me on that fateful day…

And talking about cars and such, did you notice the traffic on the Libramiento during the recent holiday period? I’ve never seen anything like it. The line of cars reached from the traffic light at Francisco Villa …all the way back to the tunnel! Can you imagine what it’s going to be like when all the folks buying those multi-million dollar condos in the towers being built around the bay and up the mountain sides will move into them, with the cars they will bring with them, with which they will drive around? No wonder so many are moving to points north and south of town.

I have to get ready for the 4th Annual Dog Show now. By the time you read this, it’ll all be over but the doggie treats. It is such a fun event! I’m really looking forward to it. I’d also like to catch some of the shows at the Santa Barbara Theater before they close. Too much to see and do, too little time…Have a great week, prepare yourselves for February - the Month of Love -and St. Valentine's Day- by taking good care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Jan. 19, 2008

2008-01-18T19:11:00.001-06:00

Sometimes, the muse on which we depend for inspiration in order to produce something half-decent …just doesn’t appear. I couldn’t tell you if she just takes off for a well-deserved vacation or if she does it on purpose, but the bottom line is: she just doesn’t appear. That’s when I toy with the idea of not handing anything in for that particular issue. And then one of my readers will send me an email, or I’ll witness something out of the (surreal) ordinary we live every day in this little paradise-turning-into-a-city, and I can give it a try once again.
That’s exactly what happened this morning when I was awakened by a flock of birds flying over the house, chirping away excitedly, loudly - and I mean loudly! It was as if they were conducting an extremely animated meeting as they were traveling. Perhaps they were returning from a little foray up in the northern states of Mexico, having decided that the 0oC climate up there wasn’t exactly to their liking, and even the unusually cool nights we’ve been experiencing down here were better than that. I don’t know. All I know is that the ruckus they were causing awakened me. At least it’s nice to know that we still have some birds here. Most of their habitat has been destroyed over the last year or so by the mega condo complexes being built all the way up the mountainsides, and their songs have been heard less and less frequently in this part of town.

Then, as I turned on my computer to check my email, with a cup of nice strong Starbucks coffee to warm me and wake me up, I found a message from one of my regular readers which I want to share with you. Mark wrote: «Question ... do you know why the Starbucks (omg, how great they are finally here!!) don’t have bathrooms in their stores? Neither the one in Centro nor the Peninsula have them ... is there not some city code that requires them? I hear so many tourists asking and others demanding. Thought maybe you would know ... cuz then you know so much! Was at Immigration January 7, the day they reopened after being closed since December 20th ... what a line! But, then to all the whiners ... I just smiled and said «Oh, but they have come soooo far in the past 10 years!»

So? Does anyone out there have the answer to Mark’s question? I don’t. Guess I don’t know «so much» after all.

And then, too late to be inserted in the «Letters from Readers» section in this week’s issue, I got another email from a lady named Jodie that read as follows:
«I have lived full time in Vallarta for the past 24 years and have always had good service from the merchants in this town, until recently. I am 76 years of age, a woman living alone with my dog and cat and a TV is a big part of my life. On October 20th, due to the fact that my old TV finally gave up and at the suggestion of a Mexican friend, I went to Electra located behind Sam’s on the road to Pitillal and purchased a new Phillips TV. For cash. Exactly 2 months and 4 days later, on Dec. 24, it conked out. On Dec. 26th, with the help of my Mexican friend, we returned the TV to Electra. After and hour and a half, they told us they would be in touch. To date, Jan. 15th, three weeks later, I am still without a TV (all during the holidays) and have received no satisfaction from Electra. I would like to advise any and all, expats, Mexicans, visitors, etc... Do not purchase from Electra! This would not happen with any other merchant in PV or the U.S. or Canada.»

Which makes me wonder: Don’t these establishments realize that such poor service is going to result in a loss of customers? Especially now that the competition is becoming so fierce, what with Gigante and Wal-Mart and Sam’s, and the soon-to-open Costco? There are more and more places for customers to purchase appliances …and electronics. I would think that the smaller businesses would make a concerted effort to offset their prices with better customer service, but then that’s only my humble opinion.

Now that my out-of-town friends have left after three fabulous, event-filled weeks, I’ve been seeing my local friends with whom I had very little contact over the holidays. (They too were busy with visiting relatives and friends…) I had the chance to have dinner at Barrio Sur which, as I mentioned before, came highly recommended to me by others. Their praise was well deserved.

Here’s a restaurant that should really have much more clientele than they do. Yes, they’re a whole half-block from Olas Altas, but believe me when I tell you it’s worth the extra twenty steps or so.

Some will recall that the property used to be Hank and Conrad’s famous «Chiles». Then it changed hands and the new owners kept the name, but not the menu that had become such a favorite among both tourists and locals. Now it’s all changed. New name, new menu, new ambiance, good music, great food and excellent service. I’ll tell you more about our dining experience in another issue, but for the time being, I do recommend it most highly to you all. Try it, you won’t be disappointed. They’re at 122 Pulpito, open for breakfast and dinner every day except Sundays.

There’s one thing more I want to share with you about this place. The names of the dishes on the menu are very humorous - IF you understand Spanish. One of them is called «Cojones Verdes», which we could translate politely as «green testicles». Outside the restaurant, there’s a huge tree laden with small, round, light green fruit, whose exterior skin resembles peach fuzz. Many have fallen to the ground, on the sidewalk and street below. Some have cracked open, revealing a fig-like interior. We asked the restaurant manager if he knew what they were. He didn’t. Perhaps they’re «cojones verdes», we suggested. Passers by all turned around, wondering why we were all laughing so heartily.

Here’s to a wonderful week to all of you, dear readers! Take good care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Jan. 12, 2008

2008-01-18T19:04:00.001-06:00

What a wonderful week it’s been! Great fun, great company, great food. The season has really taken off in this town, especially with all the new shows at Santa Barbara (wait till you see the new version of «The Return of the Phantom»!!! It was a full house on opening night - again.) The Bingo games are up and running, as are the Charity Nights at Banana Cantina, everyone is getting ready for the upcoming big do for the R.I.S.E. children’s shelter and the Art Walk galleries are drawing more renowned artists and consequently more visitors each week.

My friends and I completed our dining binge before they left, Barry wasn’t going to leave Vallarta without sampling Carmen’s famous Chile en Nogada at El Arrayan, followed by an Italian feast at Espresso, and concluding with a total pig-out at Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt’s buffet of German delights on Saturday. I don’t think I need to eat for the next month or so.

The readers of this column are a very interesting, mixed lot indeed. Among the locals, there are those who voted it as the number 2 item (with the «Letters from Readers» section voted No. 1) they read in the Tribune, in a survey conducted by the folks at Tribuna de la Bahía a while back, and then there are those who read it solely to find something to criticize.

There are folks in this town -they know who they are- who claim that their decision to move to Vallarta was taken as a consequence of getting «hooked» on my weekly blather.

There are those eagle-eyed readers who catch every mistake I make –and immediately point them out to me-, such as my screw-up of the punch line to my story about our new puppy last week, which obviously should have read «He’s a she!» instead of the opposite.

And then there are those who completely and totally misinterpret what I write. One such reader sent me an email this past week in which he asked, «Would you please stop your whining about vallarta (sic) and mexico (sic)? Face (sic) it, if they were at the same socioeconomic (sic) level as canaduh (sic), you wouldn’t be here.» Does this person know what «socioeconomic» level I belonged to in «canaduh»? Hasn’t he noticed that I’ve never «whined» about either Vallarta or Mexico? Oh, yes, I’ve bitched about Telmex’ policies, and Santander’s methods of granting unsolicited credit cards – among many others – but never about this town …or Mexico as a country. What kind of masochist does this person take me for? Why would I work so hard at acquiring a Mexican citizenship if I didn’t love this country and my life here?

Unlike a number of others who are fleeing from the consequences of some sort of illegal behavior in their country of origin, my record and the credit ratings I’ve established over the last 40-odd years are spotless. And now that I am one year older, and hopefully wiser, I’m proud of that.

Eight and a half years ago, our local activist-par-excellence, Maria Nicolasa Garcia Reynoso, tried to have me deported by accusing me of supporting the local Animal Protection Association (whose founders she also tried to have deported), not paying my taxes, not having a proper working visa, writing about the potholes in town, fomenting a revolution against Telefonos de Mexico, and insulting the entire nation by asking my readers to donate to the Feed the Children organization. Even though she took over the main square for over a week and staged a sit-in at the Immigration Bureau in her attempt, she failed. I was publicly exonerated as there was no truth to any of her allegations. She was a little luckier with her next crusade: the infamous Thomas White, accused of pedophilia, a crusade in which I backed her all the way.

Getting back to our new little puppy, she’s made herself completely at home as a full-fledged member of our menagerie, and the Rottweiler has adopted her as her own baby. Their interaction is a study in how the world really should be: full of love.

Unfortunately, real life is far from that. The Tribune received a letter from a lady, which arrived too late to insert in the appropriate section, but as it is of utmost importance to all animal lovers, I am inserting it here: «Dear Editor, Two dogs have died in one week as a result of eating something in the bushes in the vicinity of Victor’s Restaurant, in Marina Vallarta. The restaurant is located in front of Las Palmas condominiums. In both cases, it was a very painful death which indicates arsenic or something of that nature. Be very careful when walking your dog in that area. We are trying to find out who is doing this and will pass it along when we get an answer. As you may imagine, the dog’s owners are devastated.»

This is not the first time that such horror has taken place in the Marina. The same happened before, a few years ago. There is someone there who obviously hates dogs, so please, dear readers, do keep a close eye on your pooch when you’re out walking him or her, and please, no matter where you are, keep your pet on a leash at all times! My neighbor’s little Yorkie was attacked by a Rottweiler trained to guard, whose thoughtless owner let it out of its yard and into the street - without a leash.That's it for me for now. Remember that you can check out the entire paper online at www.vallartatribune.com Until next time, keep well and take care of each other! pvmom04@yahoo.com

Jan. 5, 2008

2008-01-18T18:47:00.000-06:00

By the time you read this, I will have completed yet one more whole year… older... I don't know where 2007 went. It appeared to fly by. I guess that all those articles I've been reading about time going by faster as we get older …must be true.

And it seems that due to some whim of the universe, I've been acquiring more and more pets with every year that I complete.

A couple of years ago, when my beloved Kahlua, my Rottweiler companion of more than eleven years, died suddenly, Enya brought me a kitten she had found in the field. I published her picture at the time and asked my readers to find a name for her. Lucy of CuCu Cabana came up with Suzi CuCu and that's what we called her.

At this time last year, you may recall that Heather (who writes the Pet Tails column) posted a photo of a cute kitten. I ended up with her, and all her siblings.

Now my neighbor stopped me as I was walking down the street on December 31st, to show me a tiny puppy he had found in the bushes, nearly dead. It had obviously been thrown into the garbage heap by some insensitive being. Jon had rescued it, and bathed it -a few times- with anti-flea shampoo. Need I go on? We brought little Mo-Mo (short for Moses 'cause he was found in the bushes - there are no bulrushes in Mexico…) to the vet for his first vaccine and de-worming, and now he's exploring my place. The dogs seem to be accepting him, but the cats… ohmygoodness! Absolutely not!

Heather asked me how many furries I would have if I kept Mo-Mo. I told her, seven, six of which are "rescuees". She assured me that I was still within the "norm" for this town, but warned me not to cross the line like she and Silvia Alvarez did. I'll do my best, 'cause if I don’t I'll have to sell my place and move out into the country to accommodate all these loving little creatures.

That night, as we were sitting watching TV, with the puppy comfortably sleeping on my lap, on its back, with its four little paws in the air, my friend said, "Hey, take a look at this. Mo-Mo is a girl! She's a he!"

None of us had ever noticed the lack of any little appendage, not even the vet. He took me at my word when I told him "macho". So now, we can still call her Mo-Mo, but it will have to stand for something else, like maybe Mojit(a)… We all had a good laugh.

Other than the acquisition of a new family member, the past ten days have been akin to an eating binge for my house guests and myself. When they first arrived, we sat down and composed a list of the restaurants to which they wanted to return, and others they were not familiar with and wanted to try. So, we've ended up with a little of everything as of this writing: fabulous tamales from the various regions of Mexico at Maria Candelaria, a wonderful Mediterranean dinner at ViteA, another at Boca Bento, brunch at Johnny's Diner, Christmas at La Petite France for French, New Year's at Teatro Limon (see separate article / review in this issue), interspersed with lots of tacos and quesadillas at Memo's street stand, and we still have a few to go… Mama Dolores for brunch, Barcelona Tapas for Spanish, Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt for German, Espresso for Italian, Archie's Wok for Thai and Philippine, and of course, El Arrayan for Mexican. Whew! I won't have to eat again for another month.

We also ran to see "National Treasure 2" the day it opened at Cinepolis. Finally, we thought, a movie in English! Obviously, we weren't the only English-speaking folks yearning to go see a movie in a theater 'cause by the time we got there, that function was all sold out. We walked around the mall for three hours, had a dinner of sorts at Soriana, and got back to the theater in time to see the late show. Good, fun movie.

On New Year's Eve, we figured we'd leave Bruce's beautiful new restaurant early enough to go watch the fireworks from the terrace at some friends' home up on the hill, overlooking downtown. Although I really thought we'd done that, it turned out not to be early enough. The traffic coming into town was… how can I describe it? At a standstill. It looked as if everyone who ever owned a car was on his way to the street party along the Malecon and on Olas Altas on the South side of town. To make matters worse, folks had double- and triple-parked along the side streets.

In the end, we did get to enjoy some of the half-hour fireworks show around the bay, and especially the one organized by the City, so it wasn't all bad. Last year, we missed it completely, also because of the traffic.
A gentleman named Les Worley sent us a wonderful photo he took that night. I'm sorry that we cannot reproduce it in full color as his original, but I just want to share it with you anyway. What a great viewpoint he had! Thank you, sir.

The whole driving experience reminded me of the time we couldn't find a taxi on New Year's Eve a few years ago, and I ended up driving some out-of-town friends all the way back to their hotel in Nuevo Vallarta, and then driving back to the south side, alone, at 3:30 a.m. Amazing how totally empty the streets become at that time of night. The only other time I drove around, alone, at that time, was the night my daughter-in-law gave birth to my grandson.

Now I'm looking forward to see all the new shows lined up at the Santa Barbara Theater, especially the Return of the Phantom. I confess, I'm a Phantom "groupie". And the entire schedule looks like it's going to be just as great as it was in November and December.

Please don't forget to join us this Tuesday at 7 p.m. at the Santa Barbara Theater for our weekly Charity Night Bingo Game. Loads of fun, great prizes, all for a most worthy cause - all the proceeds go directly to the Refugio Infantil Santa Esperanza (R.I.S.E.) children's shelter. (And then you just have to walk down the stairs to see Sol's Return of the Phantom!)

According to my colleague, Cia Sun, "this is 2008, and 2 plus 8 is 10. According to tradition, numerology, the Bible and the ancients 10 is fresh starts, new beginnings and new opportunities. Almost a new birth. Let's all pay attention to these new opportunities and see them from new perspectives. Everything that has happened in all our lives has been leading up to this moment."

Have a fabulous week, dear readers, and may the whole year be filled with peace, health and happiness! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

December 29, 2007

2007-12-31T12:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, when we find out that we have to get a Christmas present for someone, and it’s someone who «has everything», and we’re running out of time, I have found that the best option is just to get a gift certificate at a store where we know they’ll find something they will enjoy.

Such was my dilemma last week, when I was invited to attend one of those very typically Mexican intercambio de regalos (a.k.a.: gift exchange after we’ve drawn someone’s name from a hat). After racking my brain as to what to get for the young man whose name I had drawn, and knowing that he loves movies, I went over to my friendly neighborhood Blockbuster with the intention of purchasing a gift certificate that would entitle him to take out a whole bunch of movies. But that was not to be. When I asked the fellow behind the counter for a gift certificate, he instantly answered, «We don’t have any.»

«What do you mean, you don’t have any?» I asked. «Are you telling me that if I give you money, you can’t give me a piece of paper saying that the bearer can rent movies up to that amount?»

«That’s right. They do that in the States, but we don’t. We don’t have gift certificates.»

(Did you notice that it doesn’t matter whether you speak the language perfectly or not, if you don’t look Mexican, you’re deemed to be American? Not North American mind you -which would include Canadians- but American from the U.S. Period.) I didn’t thank him. I didn’t wish him a Merry anything. I just walked out.

So there I was, back at square one. Between my friends and I, we finally thought of something he would appreciate, from Office Depot. All was well as all ended well, and everyone had a lovely Christmas Eve intercambio de regalos after a superfantabulous dinner at Boca Bento.

My children gifted me a massage by Betty. I can't recall the last time I had a massage as wonderful as this one. If you want to be truly pampered, I suggest you call Ali's Clinic & Spa (the ad is on this page) and ask for Betty to come to your house so that she can make you feel like a million bucks too!

Getting back to the topic of movies, I am amazed that between the three mega movie theater complexes we have in town, not one has figured out that Puerto Vallarta is a tourist town, and that those tourists and the foreign winter residents would like to go to a movie from time to time …which they can understand.

This is the first time in the more than thirteen years that I’ve lived here that I haven’t been able to take my friends to any of the movies playing in town because the «powers-that-be» at Cine Versalles, Cinemark and Cinepolis decided in their infinite wisdom not to show movies such as Beowolf, Enchanted, National Treasure, etc. in English with Spanish sub-titles - as they’ve always done before.

I can understand the logic behind showing children’s movies in Spanish. Of course. But the others? And especially now that there’s nothing much other than repeats on TV… And then they wonder why none of us «furrners» attend their movie theaters…

We received a letter from a reader who wants to know when will be the next performance by our internationally-famous Xiutla Folkloric Ballet. Funny man! We only found out about its 10th Anniversary performance the day after it occurred, when the municipal Department of Culture proudly sent us a review of the show …and pictures! As was to be expected, the audience at Los Arcos amphitheater that night was made up of the locals who listen to the radio, and the folks who happened to be passing by. Same thing goes for the events at the Cuale Cultural Center.

The Tribune finds out about those after the fact too. And that’s a real shame, ‘cause those are really good events, concerts and such, and we have no way of finding out about them in time to publish them for our readers to be informed. This has been going on for years, but what can we do? It’s the way it is, and who are we to think that we can change things? Oh, well.

I noticed that I wasn’t sent any news articles to translate for the last few issues of the Trib and now I understand why. The papers have been filled with items dealing with the number of accidents, the occupancy rates, and retrospectives dealing with our municipal government’s accomplishments ...or lack thereof.

In the Tribuna de la Bahía, our sister (daily) publication, they’re doing it two months at a time, starting with January and February 2007. Not a good thing, if one reads it carefully. Promises, promises, promises. I read an article a few weeks ago, whose title was «City Hall Concludes 19 out of 107 Projects». The text goes on to explain that out of 107 projects this administration promised to achieve during its first year in office, they only finished 19 «minor ones», representing a measly TWO PERCENT of the budget it had allocated to Public Works. Hmmmm…

My neighbors have a condo they rent out to tourists (one day, Hacienda will make sure they pay the taxes they owe on that income…). Anyways, a really nice couple arrived from Canada, hoping to spend a week in the sunny warmth of Puerto Vallarta. By the way, what happened to the warmth? I’ve been dressed as if I were up north these past few days… So once they had gone through Customs, they were accosted by some time share woman from a hotel in Nuevo Vallarta - who just wouldn’t let them go until they had promised to attend one of that establishment’s presentations. They said they just couldn’t get past her. That’s just not fair. It leaves such a bad taste with the tourists who fall for that scam. These folks were furious by the time they got to the condo. I told them they should report that woman to Adeprotur. If no one reports such behavior, it’s just going to continue, damaging this destination’s image everywhere. Adeprotur, the organism that regulates time share promoters in this town, is very good at enforcing its rules and regulations, but if it is not aware of abuses, it cannot act.

I watched a documentary where the climatologists were stating that the polar ice cap would probably disappear entirely by the year 2012. That is Not a good thing. And what will happen to the polar bears with no ice floes left? What we’ve done to our little blue planet does not bode well at all for the future. In the meantime, I sure hope the traditional, warm sunshine of Puerto Vallarta will have returned by the time you read this, folks.

Have you had the opportunity to walk along the Malecon and look at those amazing sand sculptures those gifted youngsters have created there? I will wait for some sunshine to go take some photos and, if they come out well, perhaps they'll choose one for next week's cover, what with Epiphany being nearly here, starring the Three Wise Men...

In the meantime, I wish you all a most Happy and Healthy New Year. Take care of yourselves and of each other. And do try to join us for Charity Bingo Night at the Santa Barbara Theater on Tuesday, January 8th, when we will be starting up again. It's fun, the prizes are super, everyone makes new friends, and all the proceeds go to the Refugio Infantil Santa Esperanza children's shelter. And that's a good thing! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

December 22, 2007

2007-12-31T11:44:00.000-06:00

First and foremost, once again, I thank all of you who have complimented us on the photos that were published on the front covers of the Tribune lately. You have made Javier and myself very proud.

I also owe an apology to the true "gentleman" from Joe Jack's Fish Shack whom I happened to bump into when I took the photo of the poinsettia market. I was parked across the highway, in the Terminal Maritima gas station, and the thought of carrying the pots of flowers I had purchased, two by two, across the eight lanes of crazy traffic was daunting to say the least. This nice man (whose name I never remember...) offered to drive me and my plants all the way around to my car, where he transferred the pretties into the back of my Tracker. God bless you, kind sir!

This past week proved to be yet another exciting, fun time for me. My cousins left their PV condo after a 3-week stay, and then my dearest, oldest friends from Montreal arrived to spend three weeks with us! I love having house guests. They always fill our hearts and our homes with love and laughter. And they also give me the reason to go out and revisit all the places that caused me to move down here in the first place.

Following our last Tuesday Night Charity Bingo game (until January 8th), I went to have dinner at Boca Bento with another winter visitor, friend of mine, who had never dined there before. Needless to say, he loved it. Owner Monica -Stewart’s wife- had suggested the specially prepared sea bass, which my friend ordered and proceeded to enjoy in little bites, just to titillate his taste buds for a little longer…

During our prolonged dinner conversation, he mentioned his recent visit to Barrio Sur. I haven’t had the pleasure to check it out yet, but he and his companion had a lovely time there. According to him, the service was absolutely superb, the ambiance most pleasant, the food excellent and the prices more than reasonable. Definitely have to check it out soon.

While on the subject of food... Does anyone know if the grocery shops and supermarket owners in Puerto Vallarta have some sort of grudge against all things that involve CHERRIES?

Way back when, Sam's used to carry some of the best, freshly-baked cherry pies I'd ever tasted. Obviously, others felt the same way because they'd fly off the shelves as soon as they were placed there. Then they disappeared. All they had were dozens upon dozens of pineapple pies -that no one wanted - and that were still sitting there at the end of each day. At the time, I figured that Sam's employees liked them, so they'd bake a whole lot of them, knowing they wouldn't sell, and that way, they'd be able to take them home at the end of the day...

When we spoke to the bakery department supervisor, we were told that the cherry filling was no longer available, that it was too expensive, that head office had issued orders to discontinue cherry pies, etc. etc. etc.

Now we can't even find cherry jam anywhere, even though the company that manufactures it supplies all the grocery stores and supermarkets with every other fruit jam in the world.
What's up with that?

A beautiful sight caught my eye as I was waiting for the traffic light to turn green the other day. Though it was early evening, it was already dark out, and the air was unusually crisp - as it has been the last few days. A young woman was standing at a bus stop, waiting. In her arms, she carried a very little baby, completely swaddled in a couple of blankets so it was invisible to all but her. She was talking, cooing to it, holding one of its tiny little hands, kissing it incessantly. It brought tears to my eyes. I’ve always maintained that if every child were to receive one dollar -or perhaps I should say Euro now- for every kiss it received from its parents, there would be no poverty anywhere in the world…

I think I should mention the Día de los Inocentes for the sake of our readers who don’t bother reading the message from the editor… or the «special frame» that explains the tradition. Just be careful what you read - and what you believe - among all the articles that are being published this week. El Día de los Inocentes is Spain and Latin America’s equivalent of our April Fool’s Day…

We received a letter from a gentleman, signed N.R., which read as follows:
«Dear Editor,
Your readers should be aware that the Santander ATM machine in Rizo’s is error prone.
In my case, the machine failed to deliver my pesos, but charged my bank account for them.
I sought recourse through the local Santander Bank branch, who declined to give me any assistance whatsoever.
It could be a sophisticated scam or simply a banking error coupled with banking arrogance and incompetence.
Either way, avoid Santander bank machines, particularly the one in Rizo’s, which is very popular with the many gringos who shop there.»

I would like to respond to this personally. I have been using that particular ATM ever since it was installed, and never have I had a problem. Never. As a matter of fact, I’ve never had a problem with any of the Santander ATMs, unlike my experience with the Banamex ones. Not to mention all the incidents with HSBC and some Bancomer ones, about which the Tribune warned its readers for months.

One thing I did learn is that in such cases, one must make a report to the bank that issued the debit card, and not the one operating the ATMs. There you have it. My two pesos’ worth.
Did you have a chance to look up at the night sky last week? Due to the clarity of the air, the moon and the stars appear so bright that they light up everything (unlike the night when I got lost up in the hills...)

Another thing that I've always enjoyed down here is that we see the moon in a different aspect at these latitudes. The "nearly" new moon looks like a Cheshire cat's smile, and the half-moons, like the one last week, is perfectly horizontal, while up north it appears to be vertical...

Apart from this unusually «cold» weather (25oC instead of 28o in the daytime…) we’ve been having, as I already mentioned above, and the crazy traffic in town that has caused so many of my friends and neighbors to declare, «That’s it. I’m not driving anywhere any more until next year …when this bedlam will be over», I really don’t have much else to share with you this Christmas week.

I wish you all a Merry, Merry Christmas, and please bear in mind that the municipal police has instituted a program to prevent traffic accidents. They will be looking out for drunk drivers, and they will be administering breathalyzer tests. This is no joke, dear readers, they’re really doing it. So if you know you’re going to be whooping it up, please, take a taxi!Feliz Navidad y Hasta luego! pvmom04@yahoo.com

December 15, 2007

2007-12-16T11:09:00.000-06:00

"Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer’s day…"
- Don McLean

We’ve had a number of those clear, cool, crisp starry nights over the last week. You look up to a pitch black sky with so many stars that they make it look bright. I don’t know about you, but I can get a pain in the neck just standing there, staring at them… so, so beautiful!

And then we go to sleep, late, because of all the noise and hoopla and bells during this festive season, and we wake up the next morning to find that nothing has changed…

On Friday evening, I attended the full house at Café Bohemio for Sol’s annual Hanukah dinner. Always lots of fun, always lots of nice, new people to meet. I’m including some photos so that you’ll get an idea of what I mean. After all, where else will we find an 8-foot high inflatable menorah in Puerto Vallarta? Or have folks such as Barbra Streisand drop in…

I did a very stupid thing the following day, at the Pet Picnic. As it was a Saturday, and there are no classes that day, I parked in front of the school across the street from Daiquiri Dick’s …despite the No Parking sign. As Murphy’s Law would have it, I got a ticket.

Now that afternoon, I had planned to sneak away from my computer and take my very first trip to our new Home Depot, and then Galerías Liverpool on my return. On my way out there, while still in Vallarta proper, I realized - once again - that the traffic lights whose synchronization was promised to us two administrations ago … still hasn’t been implemented. It really doesn’t matter what speed you drive at, it just doesn’t work…

Getting back to my «voyage», after passing right by Home Depot, getting to the retorno (U-turn), doubling back and carefully looking for the unmarked turn-off to get to the store, I thought to myself, «How many people have had to do the same as me?» How silly. Why not put up a sign - before the exit - so that ordinary folk like me would know where to turn off to get to the Depot? How much would such a sign cost them? $10. Dollars, plus another $2. Dollars for the poor chap’s time to sink a pole? I have no answer.

Following my 4-hour visit to Home Depot (I could spend entire days in that kind of place, hardware stores, etc.), I headed for the Galerías, took the exit as marked, only to find out that they had set up those orange cones blocking the entrance. Kept going to the next opportunity to double back, and finally reached the entrance to the Galerías’ parking lot. It was full, so they directed me to their outdoor space. (I just read that the City is looking for the legal means to sue Galerías Vallarta for some $3 Million Dollars worth of public land which the Galerías used for that parking lot, supposedly illegally…)

When I returned to my car, I realized that my license plate was gone. Gone. As in not there. I figured someone had stolen it, though I couldn’t think why. When I finally got home at 10:30 p.m., I called the cops to make a report. After being shuffled from one department to another, I finally reached one that assured me a patrol car would come by. As I was waiting for it, I thought to myself, «Hmmm… maybe the policeman who gave me the ticket took my license plate. I know they do that…» When the patrol car arrived, I told them about my ticket. Sure enough, I was right. I would have to drive back out to Las Juntas, near the border with our neighboring state of Nayarit, to retrieve my license plate, and pay for my mistake. That’s what I did on Monday. $70 Pesos (less than $7 Dollars) and two hours later, I was back home with my beloved license plate. For someone who seldom leaves the south side of town, I put on a whole lot of mileage on my lil’ ole Tracker in two days!

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your many kind words about our weekly Bingo games. You know who you are.

As we near the end of the year, I have a habit of going back into the archives of the Tribune to check on the «progress» realized by our consecutive municipal governments. Sometimes, depending on the space allotted to me, I submit those past headlines so that they may be published for all to enjoy (you may interpret that as you wish).

Here’s an example of what I found this time around, dating back to exactly four years ago:
"New Mayor Promises to Convert Downtown into Pedestrian Mall - In the presence of ex-governors, deputies and union leaders, all the members of the PRI and a governor who offered to help in the construction of a convention center and complete the construction of the throughway to Guadalajara through Mascota, the new City Council, led by new Mayor Gustavo González Villaseñor, took its oath of office. The new Mayor promised to turn the downtown area into a pedestrian mall, build parking garages and fire employees who do not behave properly in his administration."
"Continuity in Tourism - According to José Luis Líaz Borioli, Director of the municipal Department of Tourism, the four projects elaborated in the Department will be followed up: parking meters, traffic and road signs, rehabilitation of beaches and sprucing up the ‘Historical Center’ of town, with priority given to the latter. The beach item already has $5 Million Pesos allotted to it, but it has not been done due to bureaucratic delays…"

"Construction of Convention Center to Begin in March (2004) - This according to José Ludwig Estrada Virgen, Regional Director of the State Department of Tourism."
Need I say more?

Once again, I thank all the readers of this column for their never-ending feedback (both positive and negative) and the "real" Vallartans for providing me with a continuous source of material. God bless you all. Take good care of yourselves and of each other, and do share your good fortune with the less fortunate. I truly believe that you will be repaid multifold. Hasta luego, que tengan una semana llena de alegría! pvmom04@yahoo.com

December 8, 2007

2007-12-16T11:00:00.000-06:00

Since they have reorganized the hierarchy at the Tribune, I’ve been asked to attend a weekly meeting again. Those were cancelled when our General Director left, back in May. Though no one has replaced him yet, we do have a new Commercial Director, Sr. Cesar Hernandez, who has been working with us in a valiant attempt to eliminate the glitches in the paper’s operations. Consequently, once a week for the last few weeks, I’ve been driving back out to Lomas del Coapinole, there where the map says "Sierra Madre Occidental" as there are no more streets beyond… The trip used to take anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes. Today, with all the increased traffic in PV, we’re looking at a minimum of 45 - each way.

Anyways, last week’s meeting lasted longer than usual as we had to redo the layout of various pages in order to accommodate late-coming ads. It was pitch black outside, and as the City still hasn’t discovered that part of town, there are no street lights anywhere in sight.

I took what I thought was my usual route back home, but as none of the streets are identified, I obviously made a mistake. So there I was, climbing higher and higher into the hills (thank goodness for my little old Tracker’s 4 x 4), until I realized that I was totally, totally lost. And there was no one around, not even a dog. Plenty of houses, unpaved streets, some lights, but no humans. So I kept on driving, laughing at myself. It was 9:30 p.m. and I was starving. I even talked to myself…
Finally, I saw a young man walking along. I pulled up, rolled my window down, and told him that I needed his help… I was lost. He laughed, and asked where I wanted to go, to which I responded «Puerto Vallarta!» We both laughed. He said, «No problem. Just go one block, and you’ll find a paved street. Turn left and just keep following it. It will bring you into town.» I thanked him profusely, we laughed some more, and off I went.
He was right. I did find the paved street one block further, and I did follow it, and it did lead me back into town.
So there you have it. My adventure in the dark, in Colonia La Vena.

Next evening, I had the honor of being invited to the big do at Hacienda San Angel (see separate article) where I had the added pleasure of spending time with Luciano, my fellow Romanian, the artist who painted the whole place. There's something very special about finding someone with whom one can speak in one's native tongue... What a delightful gentleman, and what a gorgeous daughter he has!

I noticed the new sushi place right across the street from the Santa Barbara Theater. If any of you have tried it, please let us know so that we may share your comments with the rest of our readers.
I also stopped to see the wares in the back of a pick-up truck that was parked on the street. There was a very nice gentleman standing by, whose name turned out to be Sr. José Luis Bazo. Sr. Bazo was selling the most beautiful baskets and tall vases made of woven materials, in all sorts of different colors and textures, the kind of stuff I’ve seen in many of the interior decoration shops that have sprouted all over town recently, but whose prices are beyond my budget. Turns out that this gentleman has a shop in Plaza Villas Vallarta, Local B-20, where he sells all these items which he brings in from Guadalajara - at the reasonable prices for which the capital of Jalisco is known. No mark-up for us furrners. In case you want to call him, his number is 224-7056.

If you get a chance to go see Sol Rose’s one-man show at the Santa Barbara Theater on Tuesday, do so! The place was Standing Room Only, and this, the 2nd version of «Siempre Sol» is even better than his first was last season. All new songs, lots of audience participation, a little more risqué, multi-media presentations, anecdotes about Barbara Streisand (his friend, who always drops in to eat at Café Bohemio when she’s down here on holidays) and other big showbiz acquaintances, excellent sound and lighting by Bill Deavenport, and always top notch professional! Sol’s voice is superb, and his sense of humor is a delight to one and all, causing him to be recalled for an encore.

On the topic of excellent voices, I finally snuck away from my computer to catch the "Oldies but Goodies" performance at the Cecatur Auditorium. All I can say is: unfortunately, by the time you read this, this show's run will have ended and if you haven't seen it, you've missed a truly fun performance!

Len's professional past as a stage performer was evident, Mikki Prost showed off not only her voice, but her dancing skills as well (sexy, sultry stuff with a yummy partner...)and the rest of the cast, all combined to make us remember those very special moments we (older folks) associate with our youth, sock hops, and other escapades...

I loved it. And if the new show T.J. has in store for us at the Auditorium, "The Bench", is as much fun as this one was, I highly recommend that you make an effort to see it! By the way, newcomer Lieutenant Patterson Jr., is really good! And having seen Jace Damon in various other performances over the years, well... just go!

Until then, I'm going to get ready for our Hanukah dinner at Café Bohemio. It should be a lot of fun. Sol tells me that someone gifted him an 8-foot tall menorah! And I really like his latkes, his brisket, etc. etc.

Before I forget, I want to extend a very special thank you to the lovely lady who brought me a very special chocolate bar in lieu of "Hanukah gelt" at the Bingo game last week. Bless you!
I wish you all a wondrous week, take in the processions, enjoy all the old Mexican traditions that make this country so fascinating, especially at this time of year.Take care of each other and do share your good fortune with the less fortunate. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo. com

December 1, 2007

2007-12-01T23:10:00.000-06:00

I want to thank all my readers who sent me such nice emails with regard to my column of last week. They wanted to read more of my «memoirs» from ten years ago. Actually, many years ago, I made a promise to our local readers that whenever I celebrate this column’s anniversary, I would write only about sugar and spice and everything nice. Those who know me know that this is nearly impossible for me...

During the ten years that have elapsed since I started working at the Tribune, Puerto Vallarta’s population has grown by leaps and bounds (perhaps too fast for its own good) and as the growth process evolved, more and more establishments have appeared on the scene. Some have endured the ups and downs to which tourism is subjected. Among those who have been with us from the very beginning, I would like to make a special mention of just a few that, in my humble opinion, have demonstrated that consistent high quality usually ensures survival… and success. Please understand that these are just a few. I could never mention them all (besides, I don’t have enough space, and my memory doesn’t serve me as well as it used to…) Among the ones that come to mind: Café Frankfurt (called Hacienda Alemana now), Kaiser Maximilian, Daiquiri Dick’s, Café des Artistes, Trio Restaurant-Bar, the River Café, La Petite France, Coco Tropical, Barcelona Tapas … and most of the art galleries that still operate in the downtown area. To all these establishments and the other «old timers», I wish continued success.

Once again, I want to commend all our contributors whose articles I translate into English, including the reporters who work full-time for our mother publication, the Tribuna de la Bahía. Never does a week go by that I don’t learn some fascinating facts while doing my bit for you to be able to enjoy their writings. Indeed, I consider myself one very lucky lady.

I am lucky for many other reasons too. I live in the most beautiful seaside resort in Mexico. I wake up every morning to glorious sunshine and -still being half-Canadian (the other half now officially Mexican)- welcomed warmth. I have been blessed with the friendship of some extraordinary people, both Mexican and foreign. For many years, I had close encounters with more four-legged, two-legged, no-legged and flying critters than I could ever have imagined while living in a northern metropolis, and some of them made sounds I had only heard on National Geographic specials. There were roosters all around, crowing at all hours of the day and night (remember, André Breton, the famous French writer, poet and surrealist theorist, once said that Mexicans live «IN surrealism») and donkeys braying and giving birth a few meters from my front door. Unfortunately, today, there are no more vacant, virgin lots around, so I want to believe that those beautiful creatures have found other, greener, habitats.

I’ve become accustomed to eating food and drinking juices very different from those that made up my diet in Canada. And it pleases me no end to introduce my snowbird friends to them whenever they come down to visit. There are few pleasures as fulfilling as seeing the expressions of delight on the face of a visiting friend to whom you have just shown something beautiful, something that is yours to enjoy all year round!

And as I’ve said so often, what other place do you know where you get to see fireworks every night …launched from a perfect replica of a 15th Century Spanish galleon? And where else in Mexico can we watch the humpbacks frolic before our eyes like they do in our Bay? You want impressive? They are.

Okay, enough of the mushy stuff, getting back to the less abstract, I couldn’t help but wonder about the total lack of promotion among the foreign community for the Ice Show? Oh, you didn’t know that there was an Ice Show in town? Well, there was. And the locals who work with the radio on all day did know about it, and they went to see it, and they truly enjoyed it!

On the topic of shows, I haven’t had the opportunity to attend the opening of «Those Oldies but Goodies» at the Cecatur Auditorium (see their ad somewhere in this issue), but those who did tell me that they were thrilled with the performances. The show features songs from the late 50s and early 60s, including a couple of the «novelty» songs of the era. With Mikki Prost and Len (of blu by len beauty salon fame), its success doesn’t surprise me! You can still catch it this Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, and tickets are available at the door and at various locations around town. For my part, I’m going to try to see it before you get to read this column.

Unfortunately, if you wait to read what I think of it, it will be too late. There will be no more performances. I’m sorry, but it’s one of the disadvantages of writing for a weekly publication, and besides, I’m no theater -or restaurant- critic. I just give you my personal opinion, nothing more.

For all my Jewish readers: Please note that in addition to Sol’s annual Hanukah bash at Café Bohemio on Friday the 7th, there will also be another Hanukah dinner in the garden area of Alexander Grosman’s Gallery, 1951 Francisco Medina Ascensio Blvd., on Tuesday the 4th. For more information on that one, you can reach Alexander at 293-0223, or on his cell at 044 322 779-3991.

I thank all the readers of this column for their never-ending feedback (both positive and negative) and the «real» Vallartans for providing me with a continuous source of material. God bless you all.
Hasta luego, que tengan una semana llena de alegría! pvmom04@yahoo.com

November 24, 2007

2007-12-01T23:01:00.000-06:00

Ten years. It’s unbelievable. Time really does fly... especially when we’re getting older. An entire decade has gone by since I first started working at what was then called the PV Tribune back in November, 1997, Issue Number 31. Sixteen pages printed on so-so paper. We’ve come a long way, true, but not without continuous hiccups. And we’re still not where we’d like to be, that’s for sure. But they keep trying, I’ve got to hand that to them. Snafus in the distribution system, snafus in the printing process, snafus in the layout department …but they keep on trying. And personally, I think we are getting better. I mean, who would have thought that we’d be putting out 48 pages one day? I remember one editor we had whose name I shall not mention to whom I once said that I knew of a number of people who wanted to put their ads in the Tribune. I will never forget the way he responded, without even looking at me: «Don’t talk to me about more ads. That would mean we’d have to add pages, and then we’d have to fill them.» Viva whatshisname!

Lots of things have changed over the last ten years, not only at the Tribune, but just look at our town! Yes, there are still remnants of that charm we all spoke about back then, that certain je ne sais quoi that attracted so many of us to return to our beloved «PV» over and over again …until we moved here for good. But it’s grown, developed, expanded, evolved, but has it progressed? Being a true blue Capricorn, I tend to weigh things, rationally. Is it better now? How?
True, my wish list that used to take up an entire page ten years ago is down to two or three items nowadays (one of which is donuts…) We have first-run movies, all the modern conveniences to which we were accustomed «up North», but at what cost?

I was chatting with my neighbor the other day. He’s just about ready to pack up and leave. He’s worried that we’re going the way of Acapulco. Geez, I sure hope he’s wrong. Despite the various negative things some readers have accused me of, I am an optimist. I figure that now that nearly all our parks are gone, the powers-that-be will keep their paws off our beautiful Isla Cuale, the island in the heart of town, in the middle of the Cuale River. I figure that now that the previous administration has prostituted itself to the point where nearly every square inch of beachfront property has been sold to developers of monstrous complexes, and the tops of the Sierra Madre’s mountains are no longer visible from the beach, hidden behind more sky-scraping condo buildings, it can’t get much worse. And if it stays like this, I can live with it - as long as no one gets hurt. But it sure would be nice if they reviewed their priorities, taking a closer look at our streets, and of course - those never-ending processions of quasi-empty buses downtown. I believe that if the bus situation could be resolved somehow, it would alleviate many problems, with air and noise pollution at the top of the list.

A friend of mine brought me a DVD of the original Shirley Valentine movie, which I had never seen. Naturally, with my schedule being what it is, I never had a chance to look at it. And then there it was, featured at the Santa Barbara Theater, live, adapted to take place in Puerto Vallarta instead of some Greek beachside resort. I went to see Shirley Valentine’s Vallarta Adventure on opening night.

What can I say? It is a one-woman tour de force. Dana Zeller is nothing short of amazing! Words such as «plucky and wisecracking» have described the character she plays. Check. «Hysterically funny one moment and heartrending the next.» Check. Thank goodness that I was never one of those «desperate housewives» she portrays. Nevertheless, even though I couldn’t relate to her plight on a personal level, she made me empathize with her ecstasy at discovering her self-worth - and her freedom! The lady is a superb, consummate actor. Do not miss her performance. The night we were there, the audience gave her a standing ovation. You will too.

In a last ditch effort to catch at least one more Gourmet Festival offering prior to the event’s Grand Finale for this year, my friend and I went to Coco Tropical for dinner (see separate article in this issue), before going to the Santa Barbara Theater to see Always, Patsy Cline - finally. I was never able to see it last season because it was always performed on Tuesday nights, and traditionally, that’s always been our heaviest evening of the week at the Tribune.

No wonder this show has had such success! Those two ladies sure know how to wow an audience - even people as unfamiliar with American country music as yours truly. Turns out that I recognized a whole bunch of the songs Sandi Lee interpreted oh so beautifully - even brought back some memories that made me smile, and others that nearly made me cry. I also understand now why so many people said that the whole show wouldn’t be the same without Mikki Proust. She is the catalyst, the one who stitches all the bits and pieces of the famous singer’s all-too-short life together. And in her role, she’s just as fabulous as Sandi. Don’t be like me. Go see that one too, as soon as you can.I’ve run out of space for this week. Happy 10th Anniversary to me! I will keep my other memories of yesteryear’s Vallarta (1994-97) for next time. And by then, I'll also have more information about our upcoming Hanukah celebrations, PV-style, next week. Until then, enjoy yourself, and do share your good fortune with the less fortunate - especially at this time of year. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

November 17, 2007

2007-12-01T22:58:00.000-06:00

This time around, I would like to share with you certain statements made by people who contribute to this publication from time to time. As I have often mentioned in the past, I do depend to a great extent on input from such people. Not everything is published in the local daily papers, so here goes:

On the subject of the varying exchange rates offered in our town, one lady by the name of Pam Thompson received $10.99 Pesos for a US Dollar last week. Our friend T. J. posted a couple of interesting observations… He talked to someone who exchanged dollars for pesos in Chicago, before coming down here. They got 9.65 for an exchange rate. At the casa de cambio in the airport, they got 10.10. He noticed that the casas de cambio in town varied between 10.20 and 10.50. HSBC bank was 10.58, while Santander was 10.52. All on the same day. He also overheard someone ask a taxi driver at the curb (at the airport) for the price to Paradise Village. He told them 450 pesos for 2 people. The taxi booth inside the airport has the rate posted as 225 pesos for up to 3 people (not per person).

For my part, I noticed that many of those exchange booths I pass during my «newspaper route» have finally realized that the Canuck Superbuck is worth more than the U.S. Dollar… It’s about time.

With regard to that shift in the value of the dollars, I thought that this would bring about an increase in the number of Canadian tourists coming down to Mexico. However, I might be wrong in that assumption. I recently read that their numbers would DEcrease, anywhere between 15 and 20%! It appears that this would be due to the couple of Canadians who were murdered in Cancun and the young man who lost his life in Acapulco. Sounds like the Canadian government is following the example set by CNN… If we depended on that network for the truth, we would be led to think that Cancun, Acapulco, Cabo San Lucas, Puerto Vallarta are all within an hour’s drive of each other. Consequently, many Canadians believe that Mexico (as a whole, the entire country) is not safe to visit. To quote Paul, «Of course, it is ridiculous to generalize about a country as large and diverse as Mexico. But, perceptions in tourism often matter more than reality.» Couldn’t have said it better myself, Paul.

The other evening, a bunch of us went for dinner at Boca Bento (super yummy, finger lickin’ great fare!) One of us parked in the Lazaro Cardenas garage. Yes, it is true that the sign says open from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m., but that is not accurate, as he found out to his great disappointment. So beware or be aware: if you try to leave at 10:58 p.m., you will not be allowed to do so …unless you pay for an entire night’s parking, i.e.: an extra $64. Pesos! I’m sorry, but that really baffles me. Why oh why would the operators of that garage set hours that are so out of sync with those of all the excellent restaurants around it?

I had a «revelation» of sorts the other day. It suddenly dawned on me that one of the reasons why we see so many young mothers, grandmothers and big brothers carrying little ones in their arms in this town …is because of the cobblestones and the lack of sidewalks in the areas surrounding the center of town. It is quasi impossible to push a stroller, with a little one in it, along those cobblestones. Sure, it can be done, but no one would want to put a tike through such agony – even if the money needed to purchase the stroller were of no consequence.

On the other hand, I have the highest respect for all those young ladies who do walk around so effortlessly in those high stiletto-type heels. I’ve been wearing wedge heels since moving to Vallarta, but the other day, my dog ate one of them – of my favorite pair. So with no suitable shoes to suit what I was wearing, I resuscitated a 15-year-old pair of real high heels. All I can say is that I’m glad no one saw me try to walk in them…

I don’t have much space this week as all sorts of stuff kept on being sent in, filling up the pages faster than we could lay them out. So, have a fabulous week, check out all the special Thanksgiving Dinners being offered around town, keep well, and I’ll see you Tuesday night for a fun Bingo night! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

November 10, 2007

2007-12-01T22:40:00.000-06:00

The «season» in Puerto Vallarta appears to have started a month earlier than usual. I don’t know about hotel occupancy rates, but if we were to base ourselves on the number of tourists on the south side of town, or on the Malecon, geez! It looks like February!

I would venture to guess that an increasing amount of baby boomers are deciding to come down earlier, before American Thanksgiving, no longer willing to put up with the weather in them thar cold places. Or perhaps they’re my fellow Canadians looking to blow their «Canuck Superbucks» (as our friend Josh Freed calls ‘em). In any case, I don’t recall ever seeing so many foreigners in town at this time of year. I think it’s wonderful.

Before I forget: the photo that accompanied this column in last week’s issue of the Tribune, the one of the city workers removing the parking meters they had just installed a few days prior, was sent to me by Mike Hutmacher, the famous professional photographer whose work was exhibited at the Santa Barbara Theater last week. Please forgive me for forgetting to give you proper credit, Mike. Just blame it on my Oldtimerz’ Disease, nothing else.

Also on the same topic, the anecdote I recounted of the little boy hitting the parking meter was witnessed by Gil Gevins, and not T.J. as I erroneously indicated, although it was T.J. who forwarded it to me.

Now that I’ve apologized for my mistakes, I’d like to share some of the highlights of a most entertaining week with you. In fact, it all began with a lunch I had prepared for Enya and myself, consisting of some chicken with a side of Italian gnocchi. That evening, an out-of-town friend who was visiting expressed his wish to check out the new Trattoria de Angelo (formerly known simply as Angelo’s). The décor of the restaurant indoors has been «cleaned up», resulting in a minimalist, yet friendly setting, and it is under new administration, by a young man named Michel. I’m not going to review the place right now, but let me tell you: the food is fabulous! Real trattoria-style, i.e. everything is prepared from scratch, only once you’ve made your order, including the pastas. You get it all fresh out of the kitchen. Do check it out, it’s at the corner of Rodolfo Gomez and Olas Altas in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town.

And the series of Italian meals continued... Don’t ask me why, it just happened like that. Enya and I had pizza the day after, and the following day, Gary Beck (of Puerto Vallarta Restaurant Guide fame) asked me if I wanted to join him and a few of his out-of-town friends for dinner. They introduced me to a place that’s been around for over 20 years, but which I never noticed. It’s called Pietro’s, caddy corner from the front of the Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Another delightful Italian restaurant …with good food and very low prices. By that time, I was all «Italianed»-out.

I attended Brenda’s wedding to her long-time partner, Carlos, on the beach. What a lovely event that was! You may recall that Brenda runs the www.allvallarta.com board, one of the most active, most informative boards around. She is also a sometime contributor to the Tribune. All the best to the both of you! Mazel Tov!

The following day, I did something I’ve never done before: I went to the Sea Life Park out in Nuevo Vallarta. What a fabulous place it is, for kids and adults alike. On the way there, I noticed all the new constructions, one after another, with heaven knows how many high-end furniture stores too. We also saw the Home Depot hot air balloon getting ready for lift-off. I’m really looking forward to visit that one… As my friends and family know all too well, let me loose in a Home Depot and you may not see me again for days on end… I haven’t made it to Liverpool’s new Galería Vallarta, but from what I hear, it’s super.

I got a call from the Gato Gordo, the cigar shop that sells AUTHENTIC Cuban cigars on I. L. Vallarta (the place with the stand where you can get a copy of the Tribune most any day of the week). They wanted me to come take a photo of the work they’d done on the sidewalk in front of their shop …considering that the City hasn’t attended to it in years. The thing is that the tree that grows there is a very special species, very rare, no question of cutting it down. But, its roots have lifted the sidewalk, making it dangerous for pedestrians. So here’s the photo of the Gato Gordo’s bilingual «artwork» for you to enjoy…

I apologize to our local readers for the repetition of Lupita Guerrero’s article on the afternoon dance in the town’s main square, which appeared in last week’s issue of the Tribune. The special frame originally designed for that page was replaced – unbeknownst to our Editor.

Unfortunately, it appears that such occurrences have become commonplace in our organization lately. I only hope they end soon.

Happy Birthday to El Arrayan, everyone’s favorite, voted «Best Mexican Restaurant» 3 years in a row, and now turning four! We wish them continued success.

By the way, speaking of special days, don’t forget your postman, mailman, mail carrier, whatever you choose to call your cartero here in paradise. Monday, November 12th is HIS day, El Día del Cartero in Mexico. So if you recall that there are only a dozen or so of them to service a town of some 300,000 people, and if you have received some mail delivered to your house this year, please do show your appreciation to those really hard-working fellows. They’ll be most grateful to you for it.I’ve run out of space, so here’s to a wonderful week, dear readers, and I hope to see many of you at The Santa Barbara Theater on Tuesday for our weekly Charity Bingo game! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Nov. 3, 2007

2007-11-08T13:40:00.000-06:00

Did you do what I did? I forgot all about the time change last week… All of a sudden, I «found» an extra hour on Sunday, and realized that we would be off kilter with the rest of the continent for an entire week. I wonder why the powers-that-be in Mexico decided not to follow the example of its partners in the NAFTA this year.

For my part, I find one good aspect to this change: I get up earlier, a minor miracle in my life. The negative side is that it gets dark earlier, and will continue to do so for another seven weeks or so. Oh, well, so be it. I just hope the folks who operate the Marigalante «pirate» ship remembered about the time change. A few years ago, they didn’t, so their «sunset cruise» sailed way after the sun had set, for a while. By the way, if you’ve never taken that cruise, think about doing so this time around. It is truly a whole lot of fun, no kidding, open bar, exciting shows, great music …and a surprisingly delicious buffet dinner with wine and everything!

Did you go out on Halloween? I had to do a little last minute, late night shopping and I ended up just sitting there, at the corner of Basilio Badillo, admiring all those little gremlins frolic about under the watchful eye of a parent, angels and witches, chubby little folk dancers in full regalia, punk rockers and kitty cats – all checking their bounty every once in a while, all delightful. I just sat there and smiled. That’s the way it should be, definitely better than doing all that trick ‘n treating in a snowstorm…

By the time you read this, we’ll be only a couple of days away from the grand culinary event of the year: Puerto Vallarta’s International Gourmet Festival! All we have to do is either dip into our savings …or load up our credit cards. But whichever means we choose to finance our ten-day long gastronomical adventures, this is something that must be done by anyone who appreciates superb cuisine. I’m truly eager to start…

And talking about «finances», in case any of you are still interested in my credit card saga with the Santander Bank, I’m sorry I forgot to bring you up to date. I did receive a card, delivered to my home while I was out of town, as promised by my friend, the manageress of the branch near the southbound bridge. However -and this doesn’t surprise me any more- it was the wrong card. It was yet another one I never requested. Maybe I’ll just have to get one of each, return them all, and then one day I’ll get the one I’ve been trying to get for the last two years plus, the «Santander / Mexicana» card, the one that would enable me to get frequent flyer points whenever I use it.

Anyway, I went to my branch of the bank, but Esther, my manageress friend, was on holidays. I explained my case to her replacement. That didn’t accomplish anything. So I just left her the envelope, with the card and everything else in it. She tried to give it back to me, but I just walked out.

One of these days, I’ll have a little free time again –before 4 p.m.- and I will go chat with Esther. I wonder if they’ll make me wait another six months before I can apply again, for the fourth time…

And I nearly forgot to mention: of course, the APM (a.k.a. Automatic Payment Machine) at the Benito Juarez Parking Plaza was «Fuera de Servicio». Like it is nearly always. And when it is in working order, it’s the other one that is out of service, the one that lifts the gate to allow you to leave.

Back to the real nitty gritty news this past week… It looks like the mayor has buckled under pressure. It looks like the people do hold the power. They just have to exercise it, but I’ve noticed that in this country, they very seldom do. They really have to be pushed to the wall before they react, and I guess that this entire parking meter matter has done just that. Let me put it into context for those of you who haven’t been following the development of this story. First, workmen appeared around town, drilling holes in the sidewalks and installing those old-fashioned parking meters. Residents and shop keepers complained. Upon his return from his trip to Montreal –accompanied by his relatives- the Mayor said he knew nothing about the whole affair – and neither did the cops. Then the residents on the south side organized a demonstration to manifest their discontent with the meters. The Mayor said he’d look into the matter and see if there was any legal way to annul the concession granted by PV’s former mayor (the one who’s being sued for a multitude of alleged wrongdoings), but it would cost –are you ready for this?- $200 Million Pesos in penalties to annul the contract, his spokespeople said (Oct. 20). Five days later, the former mayor made a statement, «We had to put order to the city.» Then we learned that there are two ways to revoke the contract, but regardless which of the two methods is used, it would still cost the City $200 Million Pesos (Oct. 28). On October 30th, both opposing parties, the PAN and the PRD joined forces to protest the installation of the meters, publicly, supporting the demonstrators in front of City Hall. The next day, workmen were removing the meters in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town as demonstrators were calling for the former mayor and his cohorts to be sent to jail. Wow! Never a dull moment in Party Vallarty, folks. One of our readers even sent us a photo of the event, as proof.

Gotta go for now, I've run out of space again. I look forward to seeing a whole bunch of you at Santa Barbara's on Tuesday night for our weekly Charity Bingo game. Until then, I wish you all a most deelicious week. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Oct. 27, 2007

2007-11-08T13:23:00.000-06:00

Much has been written in the local daily papers recently about those parking meters that are being installed all over town. I must admit that I find it rather ironic that no one admitted to knowing anything about them… neither the Mayor, nor the cops. Turns out that the company who was granted the concession to install them is the one who’s responsible for collecting the pesos, and issuing the fines to those who allow their time to run out. However, no one knows when those “green onions” –as they’re called up north- are going to start patrolling our little cobblestone streets…

About the Mayor’s trip to Montreal (he left the day I returned, too bad, I could’ve shown him and his entire family all the beautiful sights of my former home town – and perhaps acted as his interpreter…), some of the articles published locally stated that his tickets, whose cost caused so much controversy, went for around $2,000. Dollars each. Did they all go first class on Virgin Air, in those cabins with the beds, or what? I paid $527. for mine, return, but then I flew American Airlines, while he and his folks purportedly flew Aeromexico – which is another thing I don’t understand considering that that airline doesn’t fly to Montreal…

Anyway, it appears that our fair city has been awarded the honor of hosting the 2009 International Fireworks Festival, beating out China. Imagine all those countries vying for the coveted prize, right here, on our very own, impressive Bay of Banderas. Can you imagine if it were to really be? Boy, would that be fabulous! Like the Marigalante’s fireworks multiplied by a hundred …with music!

I don’t want to get carried away with the thought, so I’ll get back to my first subject. Personally, I’m used to the parking meter system, so it doesn’t phase me that much, though I can understand how upset folks are to find out that they can no longer park in front of their own house. And I can also empathize with those who are complaining that the meters sprouting all over the place here are the old-fashioned type, the ones that are being removed from all the towns and cities up north. To make matters worse, they’re taking up walk space, which is already reduced (quasi non-existent in some places) along our much-too-narrow sidewalks. Opponents claim that if the authorities did in fact agree to such a system, they should have demanded that the new, wall-installed types be used. I agree.

I also agree with those Vallarta residents who are complaining about the added expense to their already over-extended budgets. When you think about it, if these folks are not allowed to park for free in front of their own homes –outside of the tourist area- then this is an elitist system indeed. Not fair.

Mind you, there’s a humorous side to the matter too – as always. Our friend T. J. sent me the following email: “I was walking along, admiring (???) the newly installed parking meters when I came upon a young (about 4 years old) Mexican boy, who was crying and beating on a meter with his fists. I asked him what was wrong. He said he put in 2 pesos and the machine didn't give him his Chiclets.”

And while everyone's trying to figure out who's responsible for what, the administration is pushing ahead in its quest for the "Green Seal Certification" for Puerto Vallarta… Hmmm. Oh, and of course, there's also the start of construction of the Alfonso Diaz Santos Sports Complex in Pitillal, which is going to include an Olympic swimming pool complete with diving area, track & field area, and a multiple-use enclosed gymnasium, all at a cost of some $23 Million Pesos. Don't get me wrong, I think that's wonderful, but why can't they take a few hundred pesos from that project's petty cash box to fix the kiddies' games at the sports complex in front of the Sheraton - which are falling apart - and which I personally consider dangerous for the tikes?

After the paper went to press last week, we realized that we had forgotten to remind our readers of the time change. By the time you read this, you should have “fallen back” one hour. Yucck. Although November has always been my favorite month of the year in our little paradise, the fact that our spectacular sunsets will be occurring increasingly earlier until the winter equinox …does not please me.

So what do you think of Hurricane Kiko, the one that wasn’t? The local papers did it again, warning everyone of strong winds and much rain …as we were looking out onto total calm and blue skies. The day after, we got around four and a half drops of rain, just enough to emphasize how dirty our cars were.

From where I live, I see the building next to what was Lazaro Cardenas Park and the one going up where Molino de Agua was. They look as if they’re adding a floor a day… But as much as I bemoan the fact that I –and everyone else around me- will lose our view of a good part of the bay and Punta Mita, I still smirk at the site of the cranes painted green. Whose idea was that? Someone who felt pangs of guilt at all the trees that were cut down to make way for those constructions? Are green cranes friendlier to the environment, in their minds?

The number of construction sites is really incredible, doesn’t matter where you look. I still have Jenny McGill’s book on my bedside table, and it makes me smile whenever I look at its title, “in a sultry town”? Hah! … definitely not. By the way, I heard through the grapevine that our beloved Ciné Bahía was going to be converted into a Soriana supermarket. Wow! If that turns out to be true, it would definitely give Gutierrez Rizo a run for its money.

Have a wonderful week, dear reader, and a most enjoyable, fun-filled Halloween, followed by the fascinating Day(s) of the Dead. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Oct. 20, 2007

2007-11-08T13:07:00.000-06:00

“My concept of ‘hell’ is having to spend one minute longer than necessary in an airport.” - Joe Harrington

The Tribune’s very own movie guru said it better than I could ever have done.

On my return trip to our little paradise – which I missed more than I can say – I learned something new: whenever there are electrical thunderstorms in Dallas, Texas, everything stops at DFW airport. Naturally, by the time the storm abates, all the flights have been postponed, wreaking havoc with passengers’ connections and, of course, whatever plans they may have made.

I got home at 1:00 a.m… instead of in the early evening, as planned. Mind you, the AA folks were kind enough to let me make a phone call to advise my son so he wouldn’t have to stay up in order to come pick me up at our airport.

Needless to say, I didn't get to see the photo exhibit upstairs… I was so tired, so fed up, and so very eager to get home. And yes, as I told you all last week, the beautiful, warm summer weather that Montreal had enjoyed for so long …ended the day I got there, with the thermometer plummeting down to a measly 3 to 8 degrees Celsius.

If you’re wondering what I learned in the two days I’ve been back, let me share it with you.

The parking meters whose installation was discussed by the previous municipal administration were installed already in some parts of town. Fine, you say? It’s about time, you say? Well, there are lots of folks who disagree with you. First of all, according to noticiaspv.com, the cops don’t know where the meters are, nor do they know which criteria to use to fine drivers whose time has “expired” …or how much the fines should be. The sub-director of the municipal Transit Department says they’re “waiting for instructions.”

In his opinion column, Luis Alberto Alcaraz of the Spanish daily, Vallarta Opina, wrote that “thousands of Vallartans will soon have to pay to park on the street… as if it wasn’t bad enough that we have to pay to use the public parking facilities built where the parks used to be… And the worst of it all is that Mayor Javier Bravo’s office has already stated that as there’s nothing that can be done, we might as well resign ourselves to it.”

Dozens of residents gathered at the corner of Venustiano Carranza and Lázaro Cárdenas to stop the men who were going to install parking meters in their neighborhood in the Romantic Zone on the South side of town. “They never consulted us, we will not allow it. The sidewalks are narrow but they’ve already started digging holes, including right in front of my neighbor’s door,” said Señora Marilú Valdez Moran, adding “It’s enough already. We’ve lived here all our lives. What do they think they’re they doing?” (SC - El Faro)

I also found out that the $15 Million Pesos set aside since November 2006 for a “school insurance” program to cover accidents on school grounds …has never been touched. Why? Because no claims were submitted. Why? Because no one knew about the insurance program…

Getting back to the traffic question, I read that due to the estimated $4.5 Million Peso loss suffered by shop owners because of the City’s road work conducted during peak hours, our Mayor promised to speak with the proper departments to alleviate the bottlenecks at the northern end of town, which caused many tourist buses to alter their routes and avoid the south side altogether…

So now it appears that despite the City’s reduced budget for the year, some twelve civil servants have flown off to Canada for four days – at the taxpayers’ expense – to attend some function related to the 2009 Fireworks Olympic Games. Lorena Moguel of noticiaspv.com added that the contingent included the Mayor, four councilwomen, as well as the Mayor’s mother, his chauffeur, his brother and sister-in-law, as well as other relatives and friends thereof.

Our friend Mikki Prost (pvencore@yahoo.com) is having another one of her famous “Blow Out” sales at her boutique, Encore. Back by popular demand, “ALL YOU CAN PUT ON YOUR BODY FOR $200 pesos!!!!!” (with a 30 piece maximum) The sale will be on October 25, 26 & 27. “Be sure to get there early to get the best selection; it promises to be a hoot of a sale,” she says. The boutique is located at 584 Lazaro Cardenas.

Have a super week, dear reader. Don't forget to check out all the restaurants that have re-opened, finally… Café Bohemio, Mama Dolores, Boca Bento, Coco Tropical, Banana Cantina, etc. etc. See you at Langostinos on Thursday! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

October 13, 2007

2007-10-13T17:10:00.000-05:00

It’s been over a year since I last used the departure area of the Gustavo Ordaz Diaz international airport of Puerto Vallarta. The changes are impressive. The place looks like an airport of any big city, airy, huge, with a diversity of shops. Very nice indeed.
The American Airlines plane for which we were waiting arrived late. That was the beginning of my odyssey… Once it was ready, we boarded the aircraft bound for Chicago, all obediently, in the order of groups as called by the ground crew. Then the captain advised us that we would be leaving late, but not to worry, we would make it up in speed. Unfortunately, that was not to be. We encountered some «weather» along the way so the delay was not made up. At least, it wasn’t cold when we landed in Chicago, 28o C. It felt as if we walked miles and miles and miles to get to the customs and immigration area, claim our luggage and then put it back on the moving ramp. I wonder why they don’t have little trains or something for those older people who aren’t used to walking such long distances. When we finally did reach the luggage carousel, I told one of the AA reps that I was afraid I would miss my connection, to which she said, «Oh, no, don’t worry. You have plenty of time.» She was wrong.
By the time I got to the gate, the sign said «COMPLETE». I asked the AA rep why they didn’t «bump» someone considering I had a reservation –made months earlier- and that it wasn’t my fault that their plane arrived late, etc. etc. No go.
So off I went in search of food with the $10. dinner voucher I received from American Airlines. I never cease to be amazed by the amount of food one gets in the U.S. For $7.49, I had so much Orange Chicken, Oriental noodles and Szechuan Beef put on my plate that I couldn’t even finish it, despite the fact that I was starved. They don’t give you food on the planes any more, at least not in the plebeian class. And besides, I wanted to leave a little room for dessert… Walking around afterwards, I suddenly spotted a Dunkin’ Donuts stand! Oh whoppee, I thought, until I realized that the two fellows behind the counter were heaving all the donuts into one huge black garbage bag. They were chatting and joking around, so I had to raise my voice a little to get their attention… «WHAT are you doing with all those donuts?» I asked. They stopped their banter and looked at me questioningly. I explained that I wanted a couple of the donuts they had just disposed of, that I loved donuts, that I hadn’t had any in ages, etc. etc. That gave them a good laugh. They dug into the garbage bag and retrieved two chocolate glazed donuts – which they gifted to me. But they made me pay for the coffee…
I also made a major purchase of books at O’Hare’s book store - $7.99 to $9.99 U.S. instead of $20. or so in PV!
The accommodations I was given at the Airport Hilton Hotel were superb, though I was a little surprised to find out that they charge 35 cents a minute to log on to their WiFi internet. I received a really nice letter from the AA folks in response to my letter of complaint. It was full of apologies, hoping that I had a nice stay at the hotel, promising to do their best to make my next trip with them as enjoyable as possible, and so on and so forth …but no free tickets. Oh well, I tried.
Of course, as I had predicted, by the time I finally reached my destination, the 29oC summer weather Montreal had enjoyed for the last few weeks ended. It was 8 degrees on Saturday. I’ve been blessing my PV friend who lent me the jacket she used on her Alaska cruise. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to type ‘cause my fingers would be frozen for sure.
By the time you read this, I should be back in my beloved Puerto Vallarta, and I’ll get a chance to see the «FotografiaDOS» exhibit at the airport, featuring our own Javier Perez’ beautiful photos (check out our cover this week!)
That's all the space I've got. Don't forget to drop in to Langostinos' on Thursday at 7 p.m. for Bingo fun to benefit the kids of the R.I.S.E. children's shelter! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com Web site: www.vallartatribune.com

For postings prior to July 1st, 2007, please go to www.shesaid-07.blogpost.com

October 7, 2007

2007-10-07T22:02:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am, trying desperately to finish up this column prior to getting down to the task of packing my bag for my annual trip up to the Great White North. Right now, as I write this, the temperature in Montreal is the same as here in Puerto Vallarta. Nevertheless, I’m sure that by the time I get there, it will have plummeted down to single digits. It always does. Murphy must truly love me…
And it’s always the same: although I look forward to seeing my children, my granddaughter, my mother-in-law and my friends, I start counting the hours till my return as soon as I get on the plane at PV’s international airport. It’s getting harder every time, and even more so now that I’ve got an entire menagerie in the house …which I will miss terribly.
I was having dinner with some friends the other day, and we were talking about this very subject - going up north to visit our families. They agreed with me. One of them even said, laughingly, «Why should I go up there, where it’s cold and rainy, when they can all come down here where it’s sunny and warm and beautiful all the time?»
In any case, it is a business duty of mine that I have to fulfill, so by the time you read this, I should be up there, shivering despite the warm jacket I borrowed from a kind-hearted Vallarta friend of mine. I never seem to be able to warm up anymore when I’m up there. Perhaps it’s true that our blood thins in the tropical climate we enjoy down here, or perhaps it’s because the temperature is always in single digits Celsius when I’m up there…
I heard that Telecable has now eliminated the WGN channel. Now if we do the calculations according to one of our reader’s recent letter to this publication, Telecable presently has approximately 20,000 foreign subscribers, some of which may have been thoroughly upset by this latest move. At $220. Pesos per month, they could represent a hefty source of income for the competition, Cosmored. I’d love to see how many of them switch over, and how much Telecable’s thoughtless decisions may cost them.
And on that same idea of thoughtless decisions… The photo was taken at the corner of Lazaro Cardenas and I. L. Vallarta, where a huge, beautiful primavera tree used to regale us with its breathtaking yellow blooms in the springtime. It was smitten by a lightning bolt during the last big storm we had. Incredibly, the city folks came to take it away the very next day, removed the stump that remained, and built a lovely new corner for the sidewalk, complete with a wheelchair ramp! The only problem here, as I hope you can see in a black & white photo, is that the yellow telephone box and the thick cable holding up the nearby post are both located smack dab in front of the ramp, thus inhibiting anyone in a wheelchair from going any further…
Our friend Grant, co-owner of Mama Dolores’ Diner, posted something very à propos on one of the local boards recently. He wrote: «Because your home is in Mexico, it has risen in value. Well, good for you! But don’t you think you should pay the tax that is due? Maybe if more people paid their taxes, the city would have more money to fix highways, help out the needy, give to charities, etc. etc. etc.» I agree with you wholeheartedly, Grant.
There has been much press given to the matter of taxes lately, both in the local and the national papers. It looks like Hacienda - the Mexican equivalent of the American IRS and Canada’s Revenue Department - is once again looking at finding ways to tax the myriad condominium and guest house owners who collect rent on their properties and do not report their income to any government.
This is nothing new, but as the number of condos in this town grows exponentially, the local Hotel Association is complaining to the authorities about the illegal competition these establishments represent to the legally constituted industry which is obligated to pay not only the 15% Added Value Tax, but also the 2% which purportedly goes to the betterment of the city.
We’ll have to wait and see if they’re going to be any more forceful this time around. The last time I recall, a few years back, Hacienda warned everyone of fines and such, but nothing much came of it…
So Cassandra Shaw’s new store is now open at 276 Basilio Badillo, Viva’s former location. If you haven’t done so yet, do drop in and say hello next time you’re in the neighborhood. Her selection of jewelry will surely make it worth your while! And you can take a look at the little art gallery she's got upstairs too...
And on the topic of places opening and re-opening, they’re nearly all back now: Daiquiri Dick’s, Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt, PicNic, Café du Soleil and their super brownies and wraps, Bruce’s Back Alley, Archie’s Wok, etc. etc. You just can’t go wrong! Personally, I’m also looking forward to Sol and Chris’ return to their Café Bohemio. The place just isn’t the same when they’re out of town, with Sol performing on some famous stage or another… And of course, don’t forget that our fabulous Botanical Gardens are open again too!
That’s all the space I have, folks. I wish a most Happy Thanksgiving to all our Canadian readers, Happy Columbus Day to the American ones, and Happy Birthday to all the Libras. The rest of you, have a super week! Hasta luego from Montreal in La Belle Province.
pvmom04@yahoo.com

September 30, 2007

2007-10-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

There are few things in Puerto Vallarta as beautiful as the rainstorms that take place on a sunny day. Inevitably, we are sure to find a rainbow somewhere, usually over the mountains, but sometimes over the bay too. It all depends on where the clouds causing the rain are located. There was a rainbow a couple of weeks ago, then again on Saturday afternoon, September 22nd, and again, a double one this time, on Sunday the 23rd. How wondrous is Gaïa, our Mother Earth, Mother Nature!
On the other hand, She does wreak damage too. The rains we’ve had over the past few weeks have helped cause parts of the inside northbound lane of the Libramiento bypass road to disappear - its edges have been frittering away into the gutter, and huge potholes have appeared. I guess the loose gravel they spread didn’t do as good a job as they must have hoped.
And the city’s Department of Culture did it again too. They sent a notice to the Tribune on Friday announcing a wonderful presentation at the Cuale Cultural Center …set to take place the next day. Obviously, we couldn’t tell our readers about it as the paper had already gone to press two days earlier. Flamenco, guitar, a theatrical performance, etc… All in one night. In their review of the show, the PR folks of the Department write that the troupe has promised to return to Vallarta. I sure hope we find out about it early enough to share the news with our readers.
My oft-repeated -and still unanswered- question is: did no one in the Department know about this big event a few days earlier? I’m sure they did, but they just doesn’t seem eager to let anyone -other than the readers of the many local Spanish language dailies- know about the various truly worthy events it organizes. And then they complain about the lack of attendance.
Talking about lack of attendance, I couldn’t believe it when I heard that the Ciné Bahía was closing its doors, forever. Grapevine rumors have it that the building will be torn down to make way for goodness-knows-what. I for one will miss it dearly, and not just because I had become friends with the little old ticket lady, and the one who made those fabulous espressos and frappuccinos, or because of the homemade cakes they always had on sale, but because it was «my» neighborhood theater, the one I could walk to from my place. Call me old-fashioned, nostalgic, whatever… You might want to read my colleague Alan’s take on the event too - he expressed his feelings so beautifully that I felt I just had to translate it for you to enjoy. Personally, I prefer the smaller venues to those mega multiplex cinemas, especially considering that our two multi-screen monsters often show the same movies though they belong to competitive chains. I suppose it was bound to happen, but it is a pity nevertheless. And the town still doesn’t have a theater per se.
Come to think of it, I wonder why the city’s Department of Culture doesn’t consider such an undertaking. Perhaps it is due to the fact that it still hasn’t realized that foreigners truly enjoy live entertainment - which is why the Santa Barbara Theater does so well during the «high season». But it is small, and there are so many more of us who would like to attend live performances.
For the time being, the City is facing other challenges, i.e.: it is confronting the Greenpeace organization that is questioning the cleanliness of our beaches and whether they’re fit for us to bathe in …while claiming that it wants Vallarta to be named a «green destination». It is fining the Federal Department of the Environment and Natural Resources some $130,000. Pesos for cutting down the trees on the lot where it will be building its local offices, while it turns a blind eye to all the developers and residents who cut down trees wherever and whenever they please - without permits.
I’ve been reading a lot about the new Galeria shopping mall going up at breakneck speed out there, near Wal-Mart. All sorts of big names going in there; I just wish someone would open a donut franchise… I’m not complaining, mind you. A number of friends have brought down enough honey-glazed donuts to keep me going for a few weeks, something I appreciate more than any other gift, but still… I read an article in the news this week wherein a senior citizens’ home in the U.S. has decided to eliminate donuts from its menu, all with the intention of offering a «healthier» diet to its residents - who are so furious that they’re fighting the decision in every possible forum. During an interview, one 75-year old gentleman was talking about how he was old enough to make his own decisions regarding his diet. He only had donuts a few times a year, but vociferously resented the removal of his right to decide, adding «We’re seniors, not senile.» Yessiree, I agree!
Update on the crooked telephone post installed in front of my place: my neighbour cut down the one that was left barren a few feet from the new one. He didn’t believe the TelMex folks who told him they’d be back the next day to cut it down. Gee… I wonder why.
And of course, there’s the continuing saga of the Santander bank credit card I’ve been trying to get for the last year and a half. I did go to the bank, only to find out that they had sent me the wrong card. No accumulation of points to credit to my meager frequent flyer account. I asked the employee if I would have to wait another six months to apply for the one I wanted, to which he shrugged his shoulders and said, «Yeah, I guess so.» I figured I’d better get out of there before losing my temper, so that’s what I did.
The next day, I went to my own branch to cry on my friend Esther’s shoulder. The manageress laughed and explained to me that the card they had given me the previous day at the other branch was unsolicited… that’s what they do… not to worry, mine would be delivered to my home, and was there anything else she could do for me? «Yes,» I said, «as a matter of fact, there is. Can you arrange it so that I can pay all my utility bills online, directly from my account?» She could, and she did. I left, a much, much happier camper than I was when I first entered «my» branch.
Now you won’t have to read any more of my blather about bills that are delivered late, or never make it to my house.
I even managed to get out of the Benito Juarez Parking Plaza without having to confront any «Out of service» machines. Imagine that.
I was talking with a neighbour of mine about the new TV season that started last week, and how happy I was at the thought of having something to watch other than reruns. He has Telecable, and it too is advertising its new seasons, well, in a manner of speaking. They’re a year or more behind the originals, but still «new». He asked me which channels they would come on so he could catch them. I don’t know, and the folks who publish the (in)famous Telecable guide still do not consider it necessary to insert a grid that would tell readers which channel is in which position… Sorry, can’t help you with that anymore, my friend. I no longer have Telecable service.
Again: Happy Birthday to all the beautiful, balanced Libras out there -including all my children- and to the rest of you, I wish a most wonderful week. Hasta luego.
pvmom04@yahoo.com
Blog: www.shesaid-7.blogspot.com

September 23, 2007

2007-09-25T12:16:00.000-05:00

It was all arranged, everything had finally fallen into place: a good friend had agreed to stay at my place to take care of it and the menagerie that comes with it, and two others had kindly offered me a ride to the city of Colima, capital of our neighboring state to the south (also called Colima), where we would attend the big ceremony led by that state’s Governor. The Guv would officially welcome those of us -foreigners- who have received our Mexican citizenship, then meet El Grito the night of September 15, 2007, Mexico’s Independence Day.

But, it just wasn’t meant to be.

As I logged on to confirm my room at the hotel in Colima, I found an email from their Department of Foreign Affairs, notifying me that the entire event had been cancelled, postponed until further notice… No further information was given.

So, instead, we decided that we would celebrate right here, in Party Vallarty, and Bonnie Sumlin, the lady who facilitated the voyage through the labyrinth of bureaucratic tape for those of us who wanted to acquire Mexican citizenship, would drive up here with Hugh, her husband, and the new President of the HELP! Association. We decided to hold our mini-event at El Arrayan. After all, this is the place that was voted Best Mexican Restaurant in the annual Readers’ Choice survey, three years in a row. You can’t get more Mexican than that - especially on Independence Day!

Needless to say, we had a fabulous time, everyone let their hair down and joined in the fun, costumes, games, the Frijoleros’ super music, and of course… great food! Including the pozole and Chile en nogada that Carmen has become famous for.

There was work being done on one of the houses in front of El Arrayan, so the owners had set up a plank of wood on two pails filled with cement. I figured that no one was going to work on Saturday evening, so I moved the whole thing and parked. I guess the spirit of the day didn’t permeate that particular household, ‘cause by the time the evening was over, I found that they had stolen my rear view mirror from its casing on the driver’s door. Oh well, Viva Mexico! I guess I can’t complain. That mirror did survive seven years without breaking or being broken…

Talking about façades, our friend Marcia, the lady who fought so hard last year to retain the parks in this town, told us a great story on Thursday evening, at Langostino’s weekly Charity Bingo. It was about her latest adventure at Banamex. As an account holder at that bank, she had gone in to request a debit card. When she got to the wicket, the teller had to fill out some sort of application form to initiate the process. Among the questions she asked Marcia was: a) how many windows she had in her house, and b) what color its façade was. In view of all the ATM scams that have taken place around here recently, we spent a good deal of time trying to figure out what importance her answers held, and how they would affect the outcome of her request. Curiouser and curiouser…

We experienced another curious happening this past week. We went to see Hairspray at Cine Versalles (excellent espressos and frappuccinos ... ) It turned out that my friend and I were the only two souls in the entire Sala 2. Sure, I’ve been to movies where there were only a few couples, but to be the only two women in that huge empty hall really felt weird. We decided we could basically do anything we wanted, talk as much as we wanted …but we didn’t ‘cause we were both either grinning or laughing out loud throughout the movie, to the point that our faces hurt when it was over. What a delightful film! What neither of us understands is why, when we went to see The Bourne Ultimatum, there were a whole bunch of couples with little ones, including babies, in the audience. And some of those babies were anything but quiet during that excellent, but very violent film. We have to show our "Senior Citizen" card to get our discounts, so why don’t those babies have to show their IDs to prove that they’re old enough to get into a PG-13 or -15 movie?

The drive home through the lagoons left along Francisco Villa Avenue by that evening’s rainstorm was something else.

And of course, how could an entire week go by without a TelMex anecdote? On Friday, two men began drilling a hole in the street in front of my house. I asked them what they were doing, to which they answered: "Digging a hole." :"Yes, I can see that," I said, "but for what purpose?" "To install a post." "Who are working for, the CFE?" "No, TelMex." "Oh, so why would you want another post when you have one two meters away?" "I don’t know, ma’am, we just do what we’re told to do." They sunk a wooden pole into the hole they had dug, and left. But the pole was not straight. It was leaning, like the tower of Pisa once it had been propped up a bit a few years ago. So I called to report the shoddy workmanship, and after trying four different numbers, I finally got the right department. The woman who took my call just laughed at me. I guess she couldn’t visualize how irritating it is to look at a leaning post against all the surrounding truly vertical objects, like the CFE’s cement post right behind it and the «old» wooden post two meters away, not to mention the houses.

The following Wednesday, two other TelMex employees showed up to remove the wires from that now-obsolete post and attach them to the new, leaning one, leaving the old one naked, unwanted. And then they too left. Once again, I tried the various phone numbers from my cell phone (as they had disconnected my land line to accomplish their oh-so-important transfer) only to find out two things: a) in case of an emergency, you cannot dial the various numbers from a cell phone, and b) any complaint such as mine must be made in writing, and delivered in person at the TelMex office. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Never a dull moment in paradise!

Happy Birthday to all the beautiful, balanced Libras out there -including all my children- and to the rest of you, I wish a most wonderful week. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com